Resident Evil: Project Zero [7] Spork/Review

Can I just not be here? That'd be lovely. ... No? Goddamnit....

Resident Evil: Project Zero -7-

"Aw, Sir Leon Scott Kennedy, so glad you could join us." the president said. Ashley Graham suddenly wiped off that disapointed look. Rebecca looked shocked by looking at him...and Claire looked overjoyed. Back off girls...he's mine. Leon Scott Kennedy, huh? The president made a mistake, though. His name was actually Leon Hot Kennedy.

Guys, I cringe a little every time I recall that last chapter. Rereading the ending to it? It's causing a little part of me inside to just commit suicide.

The Leon hottie...I mean guy, took a seat by Claire.


"Hey, haven't seen you in forever." Claire whispered to Leon. Oh, so they have seen eachother before? Gosh, I had to learn a lot about these people.

Wow, I don't know if I'm just reading a little too much in between the lines that that revelation that Claire and Leon know each other seemed almost like that of a super jealous girlfriend.

Jill whispered something to Carlos as the president started to talk.

I love how none of these assholes have any sense of respect or discipline for and in front of their president.

"Ahem, like I was saying, Albert Wesker is heading for New York City to, yet again, bomb it as we speak. He's got a better, stronger virus though...it'll take all of you to stop him." A virus? What is he talking about? Albert has a virus? but, what kind?

This woman she... she exhausts me....

I noticed David lift his hand off the table a little.

"Yes, David?" President Graham asked.

"What type of virus?" That's a boy! Brave enough to ask questions...I probably can't even say hi to the president.

How is that-!! *place face in hands* How is that a brave question? If anything it's only a decent one so that they know what to expect and the president probably would have explained what they knew about it already so that they'd have the intel they need to fight back. In fact, the president wouldn't even be needed for this debriefing. They'd be in a room with someone else in the BSAA there to do it!

"Aw, good question. He's got a virus that allows..." before the president could finish, Jill immediatly interupted him. Now THAT'S brave!

No, that's DISRESPECTFUL! Bravery and disrespect are not one in the same!

"That allows him to go at sonic speed and it's impossible to shoot him,

Congrats, you just described Wesker as Sonic the Hedgehog. And I was under the impression that the president was mentioning a virus he was going to use to virally bomb New York, not the virus he was infected with himself. Apparently the Suethor also isn't very good at clarifying anything.

he's stronger now, probably, because the virus is more advanced than the last one when Chris and myself went to Africa." Jill looked over at Chris and smiled, then over at President Graham. "I'm sorry Mr. President."

"Thank you for explaining, Valentine. Now, if you can all stop him I will send somebody on a mission that is very important, I think the Redfield's will be quite into it." he explained, looking over at Chris and Claire.

What the hell does is that supposed to even mean?! Weren't you sending these people out to stop him anyways? Weren't the Redfield siblings supposed to be part of that? Why are you debriefing all of these people at once if they're not even all going out on the same mission?!

Claire looked over at her brother with a grin. Chris only half-smiled. "I do not know much about what is going on, why Wesker wants to destroy New York, if there's anything else going on with this man...if any of you find out anything I would like you to contact Hunnigan, Leon knows her very well." Oh yes, I forgot about him.

No, you didn't, you horny little brat

I half-smiled but wiped it away instantly so nobody would see. I don't think anyone did...I'm not that sure though.

Yeah, neither are we considering you've so unhelpfully neglected to show us everyone's reactions and what they're paying attention to.

"Okay, so any questions?" he asked. Chris lifted his hand a little.

"Yes, Mr. Redfield?"

"How did you find out that Wesker was going to New York City?" Chris asked.

"Honestly, I really don't know. Hunnigan found it out. You can ask her later. Anyone else?" Chris nodded and Rebecca raised her right hand.

No! You can't just DO that! You can't just say "LOL DERPY-DERP I DUNNO TEE-HEE GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW LOLOLOL", writing doesn't WORK that way! You have to have reasons for something to happen, especially when it's in favor of your protagonists or it's just CHEATING!

"Yes, Ms. Chambers?"

"How quick is he, did you find that out?" she asked with her cute, high pitched voice.

Congratulations, now all I can imagine is Rebecca sounding like this;

"About..." Mr. Graham sighed and turned his back to us. "About as fast as two of him put together...from last virus. If you thought last time he was fast, this time you'll think it's impossible...that's what we think." he turned around.


"But we could be wrong. He might be the just a little more faster than last time. Just a tiny bit, though. You'll find out soon enough. Like I said, I don't know much. Any other questions?" he asked.


Nobody raised their hand.

"Okay! Your mission starts tomorrow at 7:00AM sharp. Understood?"

Why so late? I mean, I know they'd need time to prepare but wouldn't it be better to send them off later that day to save on time?

"Understood." everyone said in unison. I was actually going on a mission...I do not remember much but I do remember I've never done anything this important. It was exciting yet scary...thrilling yet disapointing...this could be either good or not bad but horrible. This was a very interesting part of my life.

And it's also one of your most boring, illogical chapters yet. Seriously, why is this chick going on a professional mission? She doesn't have the qualifications for it!

We all got out of our seats and headed for the door, quietly. I decided to follow Chris, maybe he would take me to his apartment again, I had no where else to go. It was embaressing, but what else could I do?

Clearly you are not so embarrassed if you're just trotting along after him like a puppy and expecting him to take you home.

"Chris, I have no where to stay..." I said, blushing. Why was I blushing? He knew I didn't and had nothing else to do. He just smiled.

This is just sickening. You're blushing because your Suethor thinks it'll make you cuter. In reality it just makes it seem like you're trying to seem all cute-sy to get Chris on your side and get what you want.

"I was talking with my sister, Claire. She said you could go over to her place and stay there 'till tomorrow. You okay with that?" he told me. Claire? Oh, she seemed nice.

Wow, don't seem grateful about that or anything. It's not like Claire's going out of her way to be nice to you, someone she doesn't even know just for her brother's sake or anything. Stupid bint.

I nodded my head with a big smile so I knew I was cool with it.

So you know you were cool with it? What? What does that even mean?

"Good."

When we were outside the building, we haven't even talked with Claire yet. I saw her outside by a small, white car looking over at Chris and I. She blew Chris a kiss, and he pat my back.

That... *gags a little* Guys, that just gave me incestual implications behind the Redfield siblings.... Gimme a moment!

"Have fun, okay? My sis is the best, she'll keep you talking." Chris said with a small giggle. I laughed a little, and said goodbye. I walked over to her smiling. She waved at me, and she seemed very excited. When I got over to her, she was the first to speak.

Jesus God Christ! This is boring! There's no emotion any where in this! Imagine if J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter like this!

Quote :

The Dursleys lived on Privet Drive. They were absolutely normal, they did not like strange things, they hated them. Mr. Dursely got up, he got ready and went to work.

Do you see how dry that is? How utterly boring? So why would you do it in your own writing?!

"You ready? We could do something entertaining tonight...like watch a movie or play a game or maybe just talk..." she smiled. Looked like she stopped herself because she didn't want to look annoying...not that I would care.

"Yes, it sounds fun." I said, kind of in a shy way.


She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Don't worry, I don't bite."

I woke up the next day in her guest room.

Oh, wow! OW! How do I smooth transition? Dear god that was bad!

It felt like a fancy hotel room to me. She lived in a small house, but I liked it a lot. Last night, she told me she would make me pancakes when I woke up, but if she wasn't awake she showed me where the cereal was because it'd just be too damn hard for me to go rooting around on my won for food. Getting out from under the blanket, I looked down at my white tanktop and plaid undies that were more like extremely short shorts.

Look, I do not need to hear about your panties, alright? And it's rather awkward that you're sleeping in a near complete stranger's house in your panties as is.

When I got downstairs, I didn't see Claire anywhere, so I went to the cupboard and pulled out a bowl. But then she opened her bedroom door. She was wearing a red T-Shirt that said "Let Me Live" or "Let We Live" on the front. It was hard to make out the middle word.

How the ever loving Christ do you mix up an 'M' and a 'W' on a shirt? It's only worn one way! There's only one letter it could be!

She had white sweatpants on and her hair up in a ponytail, like yesterday. I noticed the T-Shirt was like her vest...same words on the front like the back of that vest.

You know, Claire is very able to wear different clothes as evidenced by the movie Degeneration.

"Oh, your up! Don't worry about the cereal...unless you would rather have cereal. I'll make us some pancakes." she said. Ugh...I remember now...I know how to make my own pancakes! Yet...I didn't know where they were. I sat at the table forgetting to tell her i wanted pancakes.


The breakfast was good...and it was already 6:30AM. Claire walked into her bedroom and a few seconds later, came out with one outfit in her right hand, and another in the other.

It doesn't surprise me that the Suethor isn't making them get there at least an hour early so that they can get suited up in any armor and weapons provided them. It would make even more sense to do this so that those that do not have professional training can be familiarized with any weapons they'll be handling!

Oops! Silly me, trying to inject logic again.

"They're very similar, but which one do you think I should wear?" she asked me.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I swear, those vests have to be the same! Anyway, they were the same looking vests she wore yesterday and the left one had jeans, a brown belt, cowboy looking boots, a black T-Shirt under the vest and the other one was almost the same. This outfit had same vest and T-Shirt, red, extremely short shorts that was short enough to be underwear but had black, tight shorts under it above the knee and soft, brown boots. I liked the left one better with the jeans...

Why do Suethors insist on going batshit insane over clothing details? Why is that a thing? Why is it that important?!

"That one." I said, pointing. She looked down at it.

"Okay, I'll be right back. You better get ready, too. We'll be leaving in half an hour." she told me.I nodded my head.

No- nngh! WHAT?! But the president told them they'd be leaving at 7am! They still need to be given their provisions, their weapons, their armor! Just....

When I got upstairs, I heard something slap against my window. I jumped, and looked out but nothing was there. Maybe it was a bird? No, it was a much bigger sound than that. Suddenly, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled my head toward it's mouth! It was one of 'em zombie creatures! I grabbed the gun from the dresser that Claire gave me. I kicked it away and shot it in the head. It got right back on it's feet and ran toward me. I shot it a couple of times...and the next thing I notice it's on the ground twitching. It was dead...I think. Claire opened the door with a terrified face.

I-I don't... What?

"What happened?!" she exclaimed.

"I don't know! That zombie just broke in and wanted to eat my face off! That was SO scary!" I said, taking deep breathes.

Oh, come on! How is that a thing?! That's not something that just happens! IF THERE'S ONE ZOMBIE THEN THERE'S MORE! IT WOULDN'T JUST BE ONE ISOLATED INCIDENT! WHAT EVEN IS THIS?!

"Oh my gosh! Wow! It's a good thing you had that gun." she said. I nodded my head. "Well, you better get dressed. We don't have much time. I'll clean that bloodstain up later."


She left the room and I closed the door. Looking through the dresser that she said she had some clothing I could borrow... I found three outfits that were very apealing to me. It was a very hard decision...one of them was a tigh, black leather jacket with black leather pants and a white tanktop very much like the one I was wearing. Also had black leather boots. Everything was leather!...I liked it. The second outfit was a tight T-Shirt with dark blue and white stripes, jean capris and dark blue converse with fishnet dark blue gloves that were fingerless and went up to my wrist. The third one was a black dress that was soft and had a zipper that went from a little lower than my neck all the way down to my bellybutton...I would zip it all the way up. The dress went to about my thighs and there were long, black leather boots. Also had combat gloves. Which one should I wear...

I'm not gonna lie guys, as soon as the topic of clothes came back up I just zoned out on that giant block of text. Enjoy it. That's exactly how it was formatted in the chapter, too.