People these days. [Part 3]

Subject: People these days. [Part 3] Mon Jan 21, 2013 7:33 pm

Here's Oki's reviews~ The more I read these the more I laugh, I mean really. Some Beta reader

Spoiler:

Quote :: [Mew had seen it change through so many years but this; this was the worst change of all. Humans fought against humans; Pokemon forced to slaughter not only each other but people as well. ]

Why on earth would it be so much worse for pokemon to kill humans than to kill their own kind? Also, really, like humans fighting against humans is some strange new thing.

Hm. Think of it this way, what if someone captured you, and forced you to kill another one of their kind. They're just using you for murder. Animals killing Animals is natural, but Animals being trained to kill humans, and later being executed because of it, is unnatural. And really, who hears of war in the Pokemon world? It's like, nonexistent (conquest notwithstanding) outside the traditional "Team" conflicts with the player characters.

Quote :: You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Wrong. Pokemon is a proper noun, as it detonates the name for a species. Pikachu and Charazard are also proper nouns as it is a species name, as well as a given name. Trainer is a profession as is Professor, so they're both capitalized, and telephone would depend on the context.

Quote :: [The legendary Pokemon was not sure of how to go about protecting the humans that she had called friend for so long. ]

What about protecting the pokemon who seem to be in as bad or worse of a position?

Legendary Pokemon are credited with creating the world. And everything in it. So people and Pokemon are equal in the eyes of their creators. They would want to protect one just as much as the other. And since people are using Pokemon as tools to commit crimes, they would want to stop the criminals using them. Thus protecting both.

Quote :: Dialogue is written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, never "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." She grinned, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned or "Hello." she grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

Oki's right in this one, you are wrong. Learn your grammar and stop copy/pasting reviews. It looks bad on your part.

Quote :: ...and for some reason she's saving these people by turning them into pokemon, instead of attacking the people after them or teleporting them or something. Even though it seems like a pokemon's lot in life now is worse, so it's not like they'll be safe for long.

It's giving them a taste of their own medicine, turning the people in to Pokemon. Also, if they were never released by their trainer, they can't be recaptured.

Quote :: If you want to do a people-turned-into-pokemon thing, you really should think a bit more about your explanation. And which legendary to involve - Jirachi stumbling on them while they're wishing for some way to hide seems a lot more reasonable, for example.

Jirachi stumbling in on them while wishing? You do realize that this Pokemon is only animated for three days, every 1000 years, and lands randomly on earth, in a comet right? The odds of it just 'stumbling' in on a character wishing are almost impossible. Having a legendary sympathize with a human wishing to stop violence against people and Pokemon, and giving them the ability to change people in to Pokemon (Which is what I'm assuming is going on here because I haven't read the fic) is MUCH more believable. Arceus would be a good legendary to involve, as most people in the Pokeverse treat it like some kind of God, maybe Mew, because it's responsible for the creation of every Pokemon.

Admin PokéPartner : Posts : 2397 Reputation : 172

Tyriant, I fucking love you, okay? I love you.

You explain this completely rationally and have made Farla look like an idiot time and time again. This is the kind of thing she needs to see. She tries to make herself look like the most original, best writer in the Pokemon fan fiction area because she pits Pokemon against trainer and only does that.

It's not original. It's more like she's just trying to be N. I find it far more interesting when Pokemon are pitted against humans. Because they're dangerous and are much stronger than a human will ever wish to be.

I don't know how she can't see that but it seems she's as blind as a bat when it comes to these concepts.

Subject: Re: People these days. [Part 3] Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:06 pm

This March Hare wrote:: Tyriant, I fucking love you, okay? I love you.

You explain this completely rationally and have made Farla look like an idiot time and time again. This is the kind of thing she needs to see. She tries to make herself look like the most original, best writer in the Pokemon fan fiction area because she pits Pokemon against trainer and only does that.

It's not original. It's more like she's just trying to be N. I find it far more interesting when Pokemon are pitted against humans. Because they're dangerous and are much stronger than a human will ever wish to be.

I don't know how she can't see that but it seems she's as blind as a bat when it comes to these concepts.

Aww, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I don't have a FFN account because I don't really write very much, but if you want you can show these to her, or at least use some of the points we've established here to let her know how bad of a job she's doing on her reviews.

» People these days. [Part 2]
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» Fang Rants: Why I Hate People - FF.net Version
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