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 An Angel's Blood, a Renji Love story [SPORK]

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Totoro
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PostSubject: An Angel's Blood, a Renji Love story [SPORK]   Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:20 am

Hello all, this is a spork brought to you by your friendly moderator Tyriant, on her new sporking account. I hope you enjoy the new reaction gifs.

Quote :
Head Captain Genriusi Yamamoto sat in his Captains chair as he watched his fellow Captains of the Gotei 13 file through the door and get into two parallel lines, facing one another. Yamamoto had called a sudden Captains meeting almost an hour ago that had most of the Captains puzzled.


Yamamotos attention, along with all of the other Captains, was drawn back to the door when the familiar bickering voices of Squad Elevens Captain and Lieutenant, Kenpachi and Yachiru, were heard. Good, they were here. Now they could start.

As Kenpachi walked through the door, the bells on his hair created a jingling noise, that quieted as he stopped suddenly. He shared a glance with Yamamoto then sighed. "Well, isn't that inconvenient," he muttered as he slowly paced over to his spot in one of the lines.

Mayuro Kurosutji, who always seemed to be agitated by Kenpachi one way or another, growled at him. "What do you mean 'inconvenient'? You're the one we were waiting on in the first place."

Kenpachi glanced over at the Captain in annoyance. "What makes you think you were waiting on me?"

"You were the last Captain to arrive. And this is a Captains meeting," Soi Fon stated, making sure sarcasm was leaked into her voice.



Well as we have it now, things seem pretty good. Characters are alright, and there are no real grammatical errors other than a misspelled name. There was no need for the coma between ‘noise’ and ‘that’, but that’s just me being nitpickey.



Quote :
"Enough." Yamamoto stood, silencing all further complaints and comments. He sighed, grabbing the staff that was his Zanpakuto and walking down the stairs to the other Captains. "Captain Zaraki is not the one we were waiting on."



Oh?


Quote :
"Then who was Head Captain?" Jushiro asked in confusion, wondering if the man had finally had it.


Yamamoto looked over at Kenpachi. "I sent the summons almost two hours ago to ensure that she would be here on time."



Don’t tell me. She’s the slacker type.


Quote :

"Unfortunately, she was gone before I was awake," Kenpachi said in annoyance.


"Yeah! Poor Kenny is too lazy to wake up early enough to catch Ay-Ay-chan!"

"We're waiting for Aya Nara?" Byakuya asked in annoyance. His distaste for the young girl was apparent. He felt that she was far too lenient to be a Soul Reaper. "Head Captain, I respectfully ask that I am allowed to return to my barracks. We will be waiting on that girl all day long and some of us are actually busy with our work."

Yamamoto shook his head. "If we have to wait all day, then so be it. This will be one of the most important matters that the Soul Society has to discuss and she must be here for us to discuss it." With that, he turned dismissively and headed back to his chair.



Same name as quizilla profile? Originality at its finest. And what is so damn important that we have to wait on some slacker oc. ‘Most important matters that the soul society has to discuss’, bull shit. I bet Aizen was a little more important than her. I bet the events in the more recent chapters are a little more important.


Quote :
Byakuya turned his stony gaze to Kenpachi. "Where is your daughter Captain Zaraki?"


Kill me. This character being the ball spawn of Kenpachi Zaraki just sticks a flaming Zanpaku-to right up the series’ ass.


Quote :

Kenpachi stared back, an uncaring expression on his face. "I'm not aware of her location, Captain Kuchiki. However, I'm sure that your lieutenant knows where she is. When did you last see him?"

Byakuya only frowned and shut his eyes, returning to his silent, lonely brooding. The rest of the Captains sighed and steeled themselves for however long their wait was going to become.

"Roar Zabimaru!"



HOLY SHIT SCENE CHANGE


Quote :

Aya watched as the Zanpakuto of her fellow lieutenant, Renji Abarai, extended across the field towards her fellow Squad member, Ikkaku Madarame. Ikkaku unsheathed his Zanpakuto and pressed the hilt of it to its sheath.

"Extend Hozukimaru!" Ikkaku called out his Shikai and blocked Renjis attack, knocking his friends Zanpakuto back towards him with a smirk.

What squad is the lieutenant of? Aren’t all spots spoken for?


Quote :

"Nice try Renji. But you're going too slow to stop me!" he said, running towards Renji.

Renji watched Ikkaku, jerking back on the hilt of Zabimaru to bring it back around towards Ikkaku.

Aya sighed, looking over at Shuuhei and Yumichika, who sat next to her. "This blows. How long are they going to keep on training?" she asked, laying her cheek on her upraised knees, which were pulled to her chest.

Both Yumichika and Shuuhei shrugged. "Who knows. It's Ikkaku and Renji we're talking about. You know that they can go on forever," Yumichika said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, this sucks," she muttered, pulling Shuuheis gaze towards her, a grin accompanying it. She blinked. "What?"

"You're in Squad Eleven. Aren't you supposed to enjoy this type of thing?" he asked in amusement. She pouted, lifting her head and looking back at the two sparring Soul Reapers.



Squad eleven? I’m all for the girls being in squad eleven. Hell my oc was in squad eleven for a brief time, but it was because of her mele type Zanpaku-to and affinity for combat. She’s not displaying any of that right now. And Lieutenant of squad 11? Yachiru has that post.


Quote :

"That's such a stereotype Shuuhei. It's unbecoming of you."

Shuuhei chuckled, looking at the other Soul Reapers as well. "You stereotype as well. Considering me a Captain already although I'm still lieutenant is-"

Shuuhei and Yumichika jumped in surprise when Aya cursed, standing up quickly.

"Shit! I knew I was forgetting something important! Damn you guys, you're gonna get me in trouble! I have to go!" she yelled over her shoulder as she ran off, waving to them. Ikkaku and Renji had walked over to join the other two males who were staring in confusion after their friend.

"What was that all about?" Ikkaku asked, hanging Hozukimaru over his shoulder lazily.

Shuuhei shrugged. "Beats me. She just suddenly jumped up and said she had somewhere important to be."

"I see... Well, then Abarai. Let's continue our training," Ikkaku said.

Renji blinked, looking over at Ikkaku. "I think I'm gonna call it quits for today. Train with Shuuhei or Yumichika."

Ikkaku blinked, the three guys' confused gazes now on the Squad Six lieutenant as he walked towards the Soul Society.

The sound of opening doors broke all of the Captains out of the conversations that they had been having. Kenpachi couldn't help but to grin when he saw Aya standing there, a hand pressed gently to her ribs beneath her right breast, panting. Yamamoto slowly opened his eyes, looking over at her.

"I'm glad that you've finally decided to arrive, Lieutenant Nara."



Nothing really to say here.


Quote :

Aya nodded, bowing to the Head Captain. "My apologies Head Captain. I got... sidetracked."


"With what?" Byakuya asked, staring over at her.

"I was... helping Re-Lieutenant Abarai train, sir."

"Why my Lieutenant was busy is none of your concern," Kenpachi said, dragging Byakuyas attention away from his second lieutenant.



SECOND LIEUTENANT AND KENPACHI’S KID. GOT YOU MIGHT AS WELL DIG CANNON A GRAVE AND PLAN THE FUNERAL WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.I think we've all established I’m the angry type of reviewer at this point.


Quote :

"Enough," Yamamoto stated once again. Aya stood up straight, wrapping her right arm over her stomach to hold her left arm, rubbing it gently.


"Now that you are here, it is time to get right down to the heart of the matter. It has been drawn to my attention by several of the Captains of the Gotei 13 that many of their Squad members are improperly placed."

Aya scowled. "What does this have to do with me Head Captain? I don't understand."

Yamamoto leveled his gaze on her. "There are enough Squad members that are placed too low in the rankings to make new Squads, each with their own focus of fighting."

'Make new Squads? He can't mean..' "Head Captain, please. Are you telling me this for a reason?" she asked. 'Please, please, not that..'



Yes. Anything but that. But I already know where this is going.


Quote :

"Aya Nara, it has also been brought to my attention that you know Bankai. And that both your Bankai and Shikai attacks are medium to long range. Many of the members of these Squads have abilities similar to yours. It is common knowledge in the Soul Society that most of the Captains have mastered their Bankai, with the exception of one."


Aya glanced over at Kenpachi, who was staring back at her. Then, she looked back at the Head Captain. "So you're saying that, you want me to..."

Yamamoto nodded. "That's right. As of now, I, Head Captain of the Gotei 13, Genriusi Yamamoto, make you the Captain of the new long-range division of Squad 14."






YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE. TELL ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THAT YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE AYANARA!? YOU’VE DONE USED THE MOST OVER USED, MARY SUE, UNORIGINAL PLOT DEVICE IN THE WORLD. SQUAD 14.

/ragesplode



Quote :

Sure, Aya didn't even want the position as Captain herself, but she was a little disheartened by the complaints that started flying through the air.

"What? Make her a Captain of a brand new Squad? I highly doubt that she could run a fully fuctioning Squad that we have now, much less a new one."

"I agree with Mayuri," Soi Fon stated, stepping out of line and pointing at Aya. "She is nothing but a little girl, both by our standards and by human standards. For petes sake, she's not even considered an adult amoung her own kind."

"And she's not even a Soul Reaper. Just a substitute," added Toshiro.


Hold the phone. Back the fuck up for a minute. Why is she in the Seireitei if she’s a HUMAN SUBSTITUTE SHINIGAMI?! How is she Kenpachi’s kid if she’s HUMAN. How is she a substitute shinigami? Where did she get her powers? How did she master bankai. That takes at least 100 years without special uber Urahara training that defies the laws of cannon.




And why, for the love of all things cannon, IS SHE CAPTAIN OF SQUAD 14!?



Thank you Mayuri, Soifon and Toshiro. Thank you for still being cannon.



Quote :

Kenpachi stepped forward. "Are you calling her weak? I've yet to see any of you try to match blades with the girl. How would you know of her abilities? That you point out she's so young only weakens your own argument. Mastering Bankai is no easy task, yet she has done it in less than a year of becoming a substitute Soul Reaper."


"And none of you doubt Ichigo Kurosaki. Why should Aya be any different?" Shunsui asked, defending his student.


Because Ichigo saved the Seireitei at least twice.



Quote :

Throughout this state of affairs, Aya was silent, taking the complaints and defenses in stride, sifting through it all to see what she would be able to grasp, maintain and use. Then, something occured to her.


"Head Captain, aren't all candidates for Captain ranked positions supposed to go through a Captains exam, in which we perform our abilities in front of you and two others?"

Yamamoto shook his head. "While that is normally the case, it will not be so in this situation. Myself, the one who suggested you for this position and the two other Captains who would've been present during your exam are already quite aware of your abilities. Further more, you are the only lieutenant we would think of promoting to a Captain position such as this one. As I stated before, you are already well aware of the methods your Squad will be using."


Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of every good bleach fanfic author weeping bloody tears at the blatant disregard of cannon.

I wrote a fucking poem about it.

RENJI KNOWS BANKAI TOO YOU KNOW.
RENJI’S BANKAI IS MEDIUM TO LONG RANGE.
IT’S A FUCKING WHIP. -Totoro




And misspelled word. Occurred. Nor occured.



Quote :

Aya took a step forward. "You keep saying 'my Squad' as if I am already the Captain of it. What if I wished to decline the position?"



Why would you decline that position? Jesus Christ do you know how much of an HONOR that is?! Rebellious princess syndrome much. As much as I hate an oc who magically becomes captain of squad 14, I hate the rebellious princess thing she has going on even more. At least be thankful you mary sue.


Quote :

"You would decline that which helps the Soul Society advance further? You see, no mere girl could uphold a position such as that of a Captain," Soi Fon complained, standing in front of Aya and looking at her.



Do I smell a cannon?

Quote :
Aya looked back with a level gaze. "Soi Fon, tell me. Are you only against my position because you believe I am too young to handle it?"

"Of course I am. You know nothing of the way a Squad works."

Or how good fanfiction works


Quote :

"But don't I? I do come from my own Squad, as a second lieutenant."

Soi Fon scoffed. "Squad Eleven can hardly be considered the most efficient Squad of the Soul Society. All any of you like is war and pain."

"Then, would you like me to show you how someone as young as I am able to do the same things you do?" Aya asked, her fingers twitching towards the black wrapped hilt of her Zanapakuto.


I think we’re just trying to establish a bitch character to go against the oc and hinder her ‘development’


Quote :

"That is enough!"



Quote :


Everyone fell silent as Yamamoto stood. "You will return to place immediately Squad Two Captain."

Soi Fon frowned but nodded, stepping back in line.

"And you, Aya Nara. There is no declining this position. From this day forward, you will be known as the Captain of Squad Fourteen. That is the end of this Captains meeting. We will reconvene tomorrow here at noon to discuss your position in further detail and to allow you to form a Squad. You are dismissed."



You tell ‘em head captain. Way to keep your cannon character. Defend that with your life, because who knows how long you'll keep it.

Quote :

All of the Captains began to file out of the door, walking past Aya. When Shunsui reached her, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him.

"Were you the one?"

Shunsui smiled gently. "Don't listen to their ridicule, Aya. You're going to be an amazing Captain. After all, whoever suggested you for the position had to have believed that much."

She watched in confusion as Shunsui walked away then glanced down when she felt someone tugging on her uniforms pants. Bending down. Aya tucked her hands under Yachirus, lifting her up and holding her on her side as Kenpachi walked over to them.

"Were you the one?" she repeated, looking up at her adoptive father. Kenpachi shook his head.



She’s adopted. I thought Kenpachi wouldn’t care about a human.


Quote :

"No. I know how much you don't want to be a Captain. I would never force something like that on you," he said as they walked from the room, the doors shutting ominously behind them. Aya felt like she had just left her old self locked in there, never able to return to that existence again.

"Then who the hell was it? If it wasn't you or Shunsui-sensei, then who?" she asked, confused.

Kenpachi shrugged. "You will know tomorrow. For now.. Yachiru!"

Yachiru laughed and jumped on Kenpachis back before he turned to face Aya, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't stress so much about it. You're going to do fine. And someone's here to see you." With that, he turned and headed towards Squad Elevens barracks.


Aww, what a caring daddy


/barf



Quote :

Aya frowned and turned around, only to come nose to chest with a solid wall of flesh, muscle and bone. She gasped in surprise, stumbling back, but a familiar warm hand shot out, grabbing onto her wrist gently.


"Sorry about that Aya. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, Renji... It's alright. I'm just feeling over-whelmed right now and I didn't sense you," she said, fighting back a blush of embarrassment.




Oh love interest. You can tell by the description. Familiar warm hand. Solid wall of flesh, muscle, and bone. Yup. That’s a love interest alright.


Quote :

"Over-whelmed? Why do you feel that way? And why were you in the Captains meeting?"

Aya glanced to the side, rubbing her hands together nervously. "I... I just remembered that I promised Kira I would visit with him today. See you later!" Aya said as she bolted around Renji and headed towards Squad Threes barracks. Truthfully, she wasn't really headed to see Kira. Sure, they were friends, but Aya had already had a best friend when she came to the Soul Society.


Why are you trying to dodge the subject? Shouldn’t you be fucking elated to be put in such a high position? It’s a fucking honor that HARDLY ANYONE GETS UNLESS THEY HAVE EXCEPTIONAL TALENT. Or are an Oc of Aya Nara I guess.



Quote :

It was Ichigo. Through all Ayas years of foster care, Ichigo had been there to help her through it. She refused to allow his father to take her in, not wanting to be a burden, and had, instead, moved in with Kisuke Urahara to help out in his shop.

Unfortunately, she knew that Ichigo was probably busy right now. He did have school and a family. She didn't want to risk interrupting anything important. Fortunately, she had also made friends with the bone head, also know as the bald head, of her Squad. And that's where she went.

After making sure that she had went far enough to get out of Renjis sight, she turned directions and instead headed to where she sensed Ikkakus spiritual pressure. If anyone understood her reluctance, she hoped it would be him. If not, then she was afraid that she would be alone in this endeavour.

If your best fucking friend’s father wanted to adopt you why would you say no? If going through the foster care system was so hard wouldn’t you have wanted to live with the one person who helped you through all that and developed a sibling like bond with? Didn’t want to be a burden my ass. You could have watched his siblings or something I don’t care. You just wanted your oc to be related to Urahara in some way.


And why would she vent to Ikkaku? Why would he care?

Whatever. Personality obviously isn't important here.

[/quote]


Last edited by Totoro on Thu Jul 18, 2013 11:46 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: An Angel's Blood, a Renji Love story [SPORK]   Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:16 pm

Oh wow, that was a horrible fan-fic.

You'd make an awesome Rage Sporker if I say so myself. Glomp 

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PostSubject: Re: An Angel's Blood, a Renji Love story [SPORK]   Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:39 pm

Hehe, thanks~


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