llegal Operations: Project K Chronicles, Resident Evil [43.3 - ASIDE]

Resident Evil:The Side Stories Ch.3 Operation Desert Storm (Joseph)

I'm getting really bad feelings about this already....

I'll just label them with their names in the parenthesis...it'll be much easier.

Yeah, no one really cares all that much. Just thought you'd like to know.

“You killed her.” Donovan spoke at the entryway of the lab; a bruise was swelling on his forehead as a trail of blood was sliding down the side of his temple.

And, yet again, no one is going to report him for this. Once again, it's impossible to feel sorry for people this mind crushingly stupid.

“Well, technically Rasputin did.” Joseph pointed out as he ran a tongue over his teeth. “She looked like Jill.”

“Joseph what the hell is wrong with you?!”

The Suethor mangled his personality so thoroughly that he's not Joseph anymore.

“A lot of things.”

The Suethor getting a hold of his character being the main one.

“You can’t just keep killing Mercury’s workers!” Donovan screeched at him while ignoring the pain in his head. “They’re still valuable here!”

You know what would solve this problem? ... ... LOCKING THE FUCKER UP! If you're going to keep letting him run around and do this shit you have no one to blame but your own fucking self!

“I don’t see how a slut and an inexperienced child are valuable.” He muttered while turning around to face Donovan. “You need to relax Don, seriously.”

“How can I when you’re killing people left and right?”

Am I really the only smart one here? Because at this point even Umbrella would have dealt with the problem via death! There's no excuse for this to keep going on!

“Ok let’s get a couple of things straight here,” Joseph said while rising up his right hand and his index finger. “One, yes I wanted Rachel to die so I may have pushed her into a pit of Hunters. But they killed her. Not me,” he then raised up his middle finger. “Two, I forgot to take my pills and I may have mistook the newbie for Jill,” his ring finger went next. “Lastly, I don’t kill people directly; I let others do it for me.”

In the court of law that's still murder. You're accountable for pushing Rachel to her death and for pushing the unnamed peon into the zombie-dog pin as well.

Also - why is no one dealing with this goddamn problem logically?

Donovan nodded with a look of sarcasm and disbelief, “Is that it?”

“Mmm yeah.”

“So if David Conway or Leon Kennedy were to walk in, OR perhaps Jill…you wouldn’t directly kill them?”

“Ah, now that is an exception, would you like to hear what I would do to all of them?”

“Not really.”

Seriously, this is getting butt-fuckingly ridiculous. If you have a rabid dog you put it down. That's what Joseph here is - a rabid dog. Since no one's putting him down I have no sympathy for Whats-His-Face nor for anyone else who gets in his way.

“Oh good; to Leon I would stab him multiple times over and over again until his blood flows like the Mississippi river. To Jill, well that’s simple,” he then hooked his thumb behind him to the testing room on the other side of the glass. “I’d let Chomps, Jester, and Rasputin tear her apart like they did to newbie. And lastly, ah this is gonna be good…to David I’d cut off his tongue, and shove it down his throat while pulling out his guts and shove them where the sun don’t shine.”

I'm sorry, Suethor, was I supposed to be horrified here? Because all I could muster up as a response was the following:

Donovan was mortified; Joseph was a very, very morbid person.

An empty can makes the most noise. Suethor, you have not built up Joseph/Demitri enough for him to be someone to be horrified of as a reader. And his little speech up there? It was merely you trying to shoe-horn it in, trying to squick us out. Sorry, I remain unimpressed and this is coming from the girl who freaks the fuck out when she plays Silent Hill or when she runs the fuck away from Nemesis in Resident Evil 3 screaming something about "Oh God! Oh fuck! Oh God! Oh fuck! NO NO NO NO NO! GO AWAY!" because - *shrugs - I'm the fearless fuckin' leader here, amirite?

It seemed that anyone who pissed him off like that had it coming, although Karla was another exception to Joseph it seemed.

He was infatuated with her…well more like obsessed.

It's not so much infatuation as he wants to rape her and also -

“You’re a very colorful person,” Donovan began as Joseph pursed his lips and gave a nod.

No. He really isn't. He's as bland and flat a character as you can get. None of his motivations really make sense, none of his supposed disorders match up with the symptoms he shows.

“But I would like to ask you something.”

“Ok.” He agreed while taking out a cigarette and placing the butt of it between his lips; he then took out a silver lighter, flipped the lid, and ran his thumb over the wheel to light it up. Holding the golden and blue flame to the other end it lit and gave the aroma of ashes and nicotine.

Eighty-eight percent of that paragraph was pure filler detail for word count. It would have been just as quick and less purple to say "he took out a cigarette and lit it up."

Donovan’s eyes were glued onto the lighter even after Joseph had pocketed it, “Where did you get that lighter?”

I really don't see how that's important to anything. You can find lighters at gas stations and all.

Joseph stared at him while taking a long drag from the cigarette before pulling it away from his mouth with it settled between his index and middle fingers. He let the smoke stay in before turning to his right and exhaling it, “I pocketed it from Conway.”

Like I said, unimportant filler dialogue/detail. That was not something that ever needed to be known as its not important to any character development, humor or plotlines.

“Ah, well that wasn’t really my question it was more out of curiosity. My real question is why you are so infatuated with Karla?”

Because the Suethor believes that everyone should bow down before and kiss the darkest part of Karla-Sue's saggy ass. There's really no reason for all these canon characters to like Karla-Sue. Hell, no one in their right mind in reality would date a girl like that. She has no good points to her personality though the Suethor sure does love to try and justify all her flaws as endearing.

Donovan watched as he placed the cigarette back between his lips, “I don’t know honestly,” he said in a soft tone which surprised him. “She has this energy about her, so good and full of life.”

I'm sorry, when did the following list become something that people thought of as "good" and "full of life" in a person? Do let me know. I'd love to understand.

-Abusing and bullying those weaker than her
-Abusing and bullying those she's supposed to be protecting
-Becoming joyful for killing parasite-controlled hosts without searching for a cure
-Using men for her own gain
-Being manipulative and throwing tantrums to get her own way
-Bastardizing another woman just because her ex-lover is with her for an event
-Bastardizing and becoming hostile to her ex-lover for breaking up with her for a valid reason
-Constantly hitting and abusing others (namely Slimy-Git)
-Violating people's privacy by running background checks on them without notice or permission
-Lording her powers over everyone's heads

And I'll stop there as I'm sure I can make this list longer if I actively tried to think of more reasons that had cropped up throughout the entire series thus far. That list above? Those are not attributes or actions of a person who is "good" and "full of life."

He spoke which caused the cancer stick to bobble up and down between his lips.

That was right. Donovan had forgotten that Joseph had been very spiritual during his alias as Demitri, he would know, Don had caught the scent of sage multiple times while walking past his office.

How does smelling sage imply any sort of religious or spiritual beliefs? I'm not religious or really all that spiritual and I light up incense from time to time to make my room smell nice.

Donovan decided to accept his answer as he watched him inhale the smoke again before blowing it above him, Joseph watched with mild amusement as it danced about his head. Shelly’s body lay forgotten.

Common sense is so rare it should be called rare sense now-a-days. Anyone with even half a brain would know that he should be committed and tried for murder right about now. This type of a guy is the type who will turn on anyone, even those who see him as a friend and yet here is Whats-His-Face perfectly content with letting this asshole run loose all willy-nilly.

“Then again,” he murmured as though he was finally realizing it for himself. “She reminds me…so much of Dimitra.”

I'm sensing a pattern here as to how the Suethor got this Dimitra's name.

“Your girlfriend?”

Gabby, are you even aware of what you write anymore? That gives so many Unfortunate Implications to the fact that Joseph may be a transvestite or something of the sort when you take into account his girlfriend's name is "Dimitra" and his persona's name is "Demitri."

Joseph lowered his head while giving him a lopsided grin, “Would’ve been, if she was still alive.”

“Oh,” he replied sheepishly.

“She was my commanding officer in the Navy SEALs,” Joseph raised a brow at Don’s confused expression. “Remember boy I’m older than you.”


“I thought you were in your 20’s.” Donovan said astounded.

Silly, Whats-His-Face! You can't insert logic or common sense into this fic! What blasphemy is this?

“Your making me blush, try late 30’s my friend.” Joseph said while throwing the cigarette to the floor and putting it out with his foot. “I served in the Gulf War, Operation Desert Storm…and I was 28 when the Raccoon City incident occurred.” He finished.

Okay, I've looked up Joseph Frost on the Resident Evil wikia. Surprisingly Gabby actually did do the research here. Joseph was, in fact, an Ex-Navy SEAL and a Gulf War veteran. However there is no citation here for me to double-check this fact. One thing she did get wrong was that Joseph was twenty-seven during the year Raccoon City went down, not twenty-eight. There's also no mention of Joseph partaking in the Desert Storm Operation either.

Donovan couldn’t help but not stay mad at him; Joseph was still his friend no matter what. Even if he was a bit unstable,

And this is why you're a dumbass who deserves to die. Darwinian Award and all that.

“I’m impressed.”

I'm not.

“Dimitra,” he began. “Was just like Karla, exactly like her.”

Someone needs to beat Gabby with the realism stick. Not everyone is going to act like Karla-Sue, especially since she is a horrid person who is only being idealized because she is the Suethor's self-insert.

“What happened to her?” Don questioned with small reluctance, he ignored the small blood drop sliding down his neck.

“She was killed in battle,” He answered quickly as though he anticipated the question. “That’s when I finished up my service and decided to join STARS, member of Bravo before being promoted to Alpha…you should’ve seen me Don; I was brash, outspoken, funny and optimistic. Hell I kept a Three Stooges calendar in my locker, I even pulled pranks on Brad and Wesker…” he trailed off before leaning against the controls. “I was fun to be around, second best marksman alongside Chris…then that night…I shouldn’t have wandered around…shouldn’t have found…that mutilated hand…then maybe, maybe those damned dogs wouldn’t have attacked me.” Joseph suddenly clutched his head as a deep pain was pounding inside .

No, I'm not even kidding, guys. I read the first half of the sentence then skipped over to here. I didn't even skim any of it, I just flat out ignored its existence. That's how little I care about any of this. Just a little note for all up-coming writers; if your readers are skipping over whole passages because they don't give a shit then you're doing something really, really wrong.

“Joseph-” Don began taking a step towards him.

Operation Desert Storm.

He remembered it like it was yesterday, picture it...August 18, 1990, Kuwait.

I'm not even going to hazard a guess as to why this is important.

He was a commando and part of SEAL Team 3. He himself hated being apart of it but it wasn't all that bad... Suddenly he was hit with a powerful pain once again coming from inside his head, he gritted his teeth as the memories poured in from the now unsealed memory.

Helicopters sounded and as Joseph sank to his knees he looked ahead and saw a large open field; in front of him a woman dressed in the same standard Navy SEALs attire stood with her back to him. An assault rifle in her hands as she looked back at him; her black hair was pulled back into a tight bun as her green eyes pierced through his.


Her eyes pulled away from his once one of the others came up, "They're ready to go when we are." he reported as she nodded.

She looked back at him, “Get up! We have to move comrade!” she shouted and just as he had gotten to his feet, she was suddenly riddled with bullets.

“Dimitra!” he shouted.

Her green eyes stayed frozen on his blue ones while her body convulsed violently as bullet after bullet was penetrating her. Blood spurted everywhere and some managed to land across his face, in one fluid movement Joseph caught her as her body fell forward against him. Time seemed to pause to allow this moment.


“Dimitra…” he whispered as her pale lips formed a ghostly smile.

“I…should’ve…” it was hard for her to talk since blood was making her gargle and choke on her words. “Been more…alert comrade…”

You know, when Krauser kept calling Leon 'comrade' in RE4 he was kind of being a smug, smart ass about how they were on opposite sides now. Here it's just really kind of ridiculous to the point of being laughable.

“It was a sneak attack Dimitra, we got em’ no worries.” He said about to choke out a sob, he didn’t even know if he would cry. This was a flashback goddammit! He wouldn’t cry for an old forgotten memory that occurred years ago.

Normally people call them 'memories' not flashbacks when they recall something like this. Then again Gabby doesn't seem to have a good grasp of realism.

But then again…Dimitra had been the love of his life. Even though the beautiful Half-Russian, Half-Spaniard was four years his junior, and she died not knowing he had loved her.

Interesting, that, considering this is the first time it's ever been brought up and he happily goes about trying to rape Karla-Sue as much and as often as he can. Normally people who have lost their "love of their life" don't act like that, even with a personality disorder.

“So cute…when you’re…worried.” She whispered as his eyes swept over her body.

Countless bullet hole entry wounds decorated her body as though they were part of the outfit and not actual wounds, the red crimson splattered added to that. If only it was so.

“Your gonna be fine.” He said near a whisper.

Dimitra suddenly raised her hand to his face as she cupped it gently, “Frost…” she coughed before swallowing the blood back down much to her disgust.

I'd think she'd be a bit more worried about other things rather than being disgusted by her own blood in her mouth like, I dunno, the whole dying bit.

She looked at him contemplating on what to tell him, “Live…” was the last thing she said before her head tilted back and her weight decreased.

Wow, that sounds like a bad rip off of Zack telling Cloud to live for the both of them.

Till this day, Joseph still didn’t know if that was what she truly wanted to say…but he had taken her dying request. This explained his behavior and personality during his STARS days; he was living life to the fullest.


Suddenly more painful flashback erupted and soon Joseph found himself standing outside once again but as he spun around and inspected the place, he found himself in a forested area.

Gabby, I don't know what you think a flashback is but this is not it. A flashback simply means recalling a memory not reliving the whole damn thing.

His hands left his head but quickly they went back as he felt the cloth on his head, it was a bandana.

“Joseph, pay attention to your surroundings!” a sharp voice called his attention as he turned and saw Wesker looking straight at him. “Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to move?”

“C’mon Frosty.” Chris came up beside him as he patted his shoulder.

“Joseph over here!” Jill called as she waved him over; he caught sight of her blue beret as his legs walked him over to her. “Don’t go off on your own, it’s dangerous ya know…especially with those cannibals lurking about.” She teased before they continued walking forward while following Wesker, Chris, and Barry.

Jill's not the type to tease and taunt during a mission much less with a situation like that. She's much more serious than that.

“Cannibals…right.” He said slowly unsure of what to make of the situation. “Hey Jill,” she glanced back at him with a small smile. “What year is it?”

“1998, why?”

Yep, Gabby has now proven that she has no idea what a flashback really is nor how to implement it. This is like some crappy 'Sucked-Back-In-The-Past' or 'Alternate-Universe' type of crap. This is not a flashback nor is it interesting to read through.

“It’s nothing.” He said quickly. Joseph didn’t know how he ended up back in the past it had to be from not taking those pills. That was the only explanation. But…it was if he could still feel Dimitra’s blood on his face.


“Are you feeling ok?” Jill asked keeping her gaze on the foggy path ahead of them.

“Fine.”

“Joseph had too many pizzas earlier, that and a few beers.” Chris answered for him with a smirk.

Like Jill, Chris isn't the type to joke about a situation like this. Gabby, you just have no idea how to keep established characters in-character, do you?

“Glad to know you all are making the best of this situation.” Wesker sneered.

“Ah don’t sweat it Al,” the red bearded man said while keeping his guard up. “They know to pay attention.”

“Until one of them gets eaten alive.” Wesker muttered.

*dryly* Oh, Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. It's so funny because Joseph gets eaten alive canonically. Ha. Ha. Ha. Don't you get it? It's just oh so clever and witty. Ha. Ha.... Ha.

Oh, if only that prick knew he was about to be right. “Wesker is such an asshole sometimes.” Chris expressed while shining his beam of light over the darkened trees.

Okay, hold the phone! Gabby, what the fuck?! Do you not know why Chris is so hell-bent on stopping Wesker? It's because before he betrayed the entirety of S.T.A.R.S. Wesker was the one Chris looked up to most! He wouldn't be going around calling the guy an asshole!

“But he has a point Chris; we do need to pay close attention.” Jill chided.

Chris snorted, “What he needs is to get laid. Badly.”

Uh, yeah, this is not how Chris acts. Ever. He's too nice to be saying things like that.

“You are so mean sometimes.” A new voice approached and at this it made Joseph jump from surprise. He spun around and saw the blonde headed Alexis Hazelwood come up from behind with her pistol clenched in her left hand while using her right hand to shine the flashlight in Joseph’s face.

Holy crap.

He had forgotten about her, it was probably because he had learned of her violent death from someone who he couldn’t quite name. She had been killed by a tyrant, the same way Wesker had been ‘killed.’

Stop ripping off canon for your shit-characters, Suethor. Oh, I know Hana-Sue/Alexis-Sue belongs to Hananiwa but it makes no difference to me. This is the umpteenth time you've done this and it really cheapens the experience of the canon characters that go through these events every time you feel the need to copy&paste the situation onto your own shitty characters!

Her eyes locked on Joseph’s as she gave a small smile, “Sorry, I couldn’t stand waiting with Brad…he was beginning to bore me.”

“Nice, now he’s gonna be scared stiff when we go back.” Chris muttered.

Yeah, so, where's Alexis-Sue's reprimanding or punishment for disobeying orders to stay behind with Brad Vickers?

“Oh shut up Mr. Judgmental,” Alexis said with a jovial tone. “Maybe you’re the one that needs to get laid.”

Okay, apparently following orders is just for lame-os who actually take their job seriously.

“As if, you need to get laid.” He retorted as Jill rolled her eyes.

“No you, you’re probably still a virgin.”

“…No. It just so happens I got laid last week.”

“Your left hand doesn’t count Chris.”

Joseph found himself smirking, “It’s actually his right hand.”

These morons all sound like the dumb asses who've just gotten hit by puberty and are doing their damnedest to sound mature and grown-up with sex-talk. No, it doesn't make me like any of them more. In fact it increases me hatred of all things present.

“Whose side are you on Joseph?!” Chris snapped before sending Alexis a glare, “It’s true dammit!”

“What? About you using your right hand?”

“No! I got laid last week! Her name was Farrah!”

“Liar! Mind if I ask Claire?”

“Go ahead.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Well alrighty then.”

“Okie dokie.”

“Knock yourself-”


“Enough! Redfield, Alexis. One more word and you’ll both be keeping Vickers company. Do I make myself clear?” Wesker demanded in an irritated tone as he looked back at them both, his eyes covered by his signature sunglasses.

Oh, only now does the hard ass, Wesker, actually do anything about these ruffian morons. Great. So glad to see you still just can't stop yourself from mangling canon characters, Gabby.

“Yes sir.” both Air Force soldiers said while sneaking a glare at the opposite person.

Neither are in the Air Force anymore at that point in time thus calling them Air Force is inaccurate.

Yeah, Joseph forgot Alexis.

He didn’t know why, it was just so sudden that she popped into this flashback…as though…it wanted to let him know something. Could it be?

Is…she still alive?


Preposterous!

Who the hell actually ever uses that word and expects to be taken seriously anymore?

No one could survive an attack…but Wesker did…HOLY. SHIT. Alexis is alive!

This is so fucking monumentally stupid there are no words....

He peered over at her again and found that she had jogged up and accompanied Wesker up ahead.

This was one weird flashback.

“Joseph!” he was snapped back to reality as one of the nurses of the infirmary was bent over him. Another head was beside hers, Joseph recognized it to be Donovan’s the young man had a worried expression.

“Where am I?” he grumbled while bringing a hand to rub his face and pinch his closed eyes.

“Infirmary in Sector-B4.”

“It seems that you didn’t take your medication again Joseph.” The nurse scolded.

So, I can infer that this happens frequently enough for many people to be aware of this behavior. Why has no one had the brains or rare sense to report this? Or even just to prepare and take countermeasures against such actions?

Carefully he sat up as he opened his eyes to peer at the nurse; she was pretty with dark brown hair cut short and some of it pulled back. Her dark eyes watched him closely before she offered her closed fist; slowly she opened it and in her palm were two small blue pills shaped like ovals.

“You know Dr. Dobrev wants you to keep taking your meds.” She said again in an accent he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Screw her and your pills.” He mumbled as Don chuckled.

“Take em’ you’ll need em for the meeting later on.” Don said and it was then that Joseph noticed his wound was bandaged neatly and the blood was cleaned off.

“Take them or I will force them down your throat.” The nurse threatened in a light tone of voice.

Better idea - just ram your fist down his throat and let him suffocate.

At this Joseph had to comply as he glared at her while snatching the two little pills from her soft hand, he was then handed a paper cup of water to wash them down. He popped both pills in his mouth and drained the water from the cup, the nurse checked to make sure he had indeed taken them before smiling in content.

“Very good.” She said as Donovan and her exchanged long glances.

Joseph suspected that they both had something for each other and if so, it wasn’t his business to care. “Thank you kindly Maakha, that’ll be all.” Donovan said with a smile, Joseph rolled his eyes as he felt his lunch coming up his esophagus. He strolled over to the door and opened it just as Don joined him at his side.

“She’s French.” Don added as though he was proud of his find.

“Splendid,” Joseph said in an uncaring voice. “Maakha is a French name?” he suddenly asked.

“She’s also part Armenian.” He answered.

“You seem to prefer girls of different races.” Joseph answered even though the same went for him as well.

“Well they’re…um…nevermind.” Donovan said as Joseph glanced at him.

“This meeting,” Joseph began. “Is it with Craig?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm...You know, I wonder what Karla is doing right this very minute.”

“Leon.”

Joseph scowled as he smacked Donovan’s head, “I said what not who…damn pervert.”