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| Subject: The Very Best! [Review of ☄ Sucked into a game ☄] by windgirl13 [21] Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:11 pm | |
| And another one of these nonsense chapters. Lets see where this one goes. *Has been putting these things off too long to save my sanity* - Quote :
- Mikki’s p.o.v. “Beep Bop! Tackle attack!” I called out. Even though Beep Bop hadn’t learned any electric type attack, that zappy wool of hers had once again paralyzed a opponent. And thank…Arceus? Mew? I’m not sure right now. But with Pidgeotto paralyzed it meant the flying advantage was done with and he had to face us head on.
You know, the thing about Pokemon's abilities.
They don't always work right away!
So the act of the Pokemon being paralyzed would be chance at best! It's not a thing that just happens because you say it does! This is not a thing!
But the writer clearly has to have everything come easy to her. Because that would be too hard. - Quote :
- “Pidgeotto, quick attack!” Falkner said and Pidgeotto was soon zipping towards Beep Bop and suddenly hit her, knocking her back.
“Beep Bop?! You okay?” I asked as she got back up.
“Mareep! Mar Mar Mareep Mar!” Mareep said. I had to laugh at that. You know what, no. Falkner's Pidgeotto is no push over. That thing is pretty OP coming in with Pokemon that are not at least level twelve or higher. Even with type advantage, that thing can take down an oppent pretty damn fast.
And considering this Mareep doesn't even know any electric type attacks, there would be no doubt that 'Beep Bop' would have been knocked out right than and there. - Quote :
- “That’s right, ladies do not start fights but they do finish them.”
The Aristocats. She was watching The Aristocats when she wrote this or afterward. Not very subtle on the line usuage.
Provided, I have line dropped things like this before, but at least I've given credit for the use of them. Because they aren't my words and I don't feel right about using them when I don't credit the original lines.
So yea, subtle as a train there and no credit, much less the fact that it was an incredibly lame place to put it. - Quote :
- I said with a grin. “Give it a tackle again!” But Beep Bop wasn’t charging like normal. She seemed to be concentrating. Suddenly a sphere of light came from around her and a weak looking lightning bolt struck Pidgeotto. “What was that?” I pulled out my pokedex to check and it said that was Thunder shock. “Shocking turn of events.”
And once again, the convience of this idiotic fic leaves me at a loss of words.
It really does. - Quote :
- “The wind is with us yet!” Falkner cried out. “Pidgeotto!…” Pidgeotto had collapsed onto the floor. Tongue hanging out and looking worn. “Oh no! My dad’s cherished bird pokemon. Return.” I called Beep Bop back in to her poke ball and ran over to Falkner’s side.
... ... ... - Quote :
- “That was a great battle. I learned a lot.”
No...no it was not. - Quote :
- I said truthfully. Falkner sighed but smiled. “Yeah it was a good battle. I’m striving to be cool as my dad so I can make him proud.” Falkner said.
When did he ever say he just wanted to be 'cool' like his father? We know nothing of his father other than he's away.
Writer, stop pulling stuff out of your ass just to fill up spaces! - Quote :
- “But anyways since you won, you get this!” He handed me a small grey colored object. It looked like a pair of wings. “That’s the Zephyr Badge. Pokemon up to level 20 will obey you.” We’re friends, we listen to each other.
You're using game machenics bitch! Therefore you're 'we're friends, we listen to each other' argument wouldn't work!
It doesn't just change when you want it to! Making it all convient on yourself is boring, stupid, tedious to read, and just proves to show just how much of a Sue the Mikki really is!
Because your self insert only does or says things that work in convience to her and her Pokmone!
And this is spread out over one hundred chapters!
Do you see why I'm driving myself nuts here?! - Quote :
- “The next place you would want to go is Azalea Town.”
And we'll get alllll the tedious travelling details! Cause that sounds like fun!...
God...why do I do this to myself? - Quote :
- “’Kay, thanks! I think you’ll make your dad proud!” I said as me and Bara walked out of the gym.
That was so incredibly heartfelt, I could cry! - Quote :
- “Lets get Haru Healed and tell him we won!” I said excitedly.
“Chika!” Bara said. And we were off skipping to the pokemon center.
“Back already?” Nurse Joy asked pleasantly as I walked up to the counter.
“Uh-huh. We won at the gym but Haru fainted so, we want him healed to tell him the good news!” I said in one breath. Why is everything so boring?! Why does nothing happen!? Writer, you could have just skipped over all of this! unless something actually happens here, why bother keeping it going?! It's just tedious and boring to read!! - Quote :
- “That’s wonderful! And I’ll be sure to take care of Haru for you.” Nurse Joy said as I handed her Haru’s poke ball. I took a seat closer to the counter as I waited. Where do I keep this badge? I don’t have any pockets or a vest like Ash does. And I’m a airhead. So where do I keep ‘em?
Being an air head is not an excuse! It is not a flaw in your character! It's not anything! Even people who forget things frequently aren't this bad, dammit!
What is wrong with you?! - Quote :
- “Chika? Chikarii?” Bara asked.
“Oh, just trying to figure out where to keep a badge safe.” I said in a rather monotone voice. I really didn’t have a clue.
“Well I have a case for badges here.” Nurse joy said suddenly scaring me out of my seat. Why would Nurse Joy have badge cases? Why would she need to hand them out? Why didn't Mikki-Sue get a badge case from the lab where she was supposed to get it?
Why is this so painful to read?! - Quote :
- “Your Haru You mean you're Spearow? wasn’t injured greatly so the healing was much faster. But if you need a place to keep your badges, I found this one lying about the center.”
Of course you did. Because why the fuck not? Everything has to be easy for Mikki-Sue. Nothing can come as a difficulty. Not even little things. - Quote :
- I took back my poke ball and took the case as well.
“Thank you so much.” I said. No matter what area of the pokemon world you are at, Nurse Joy’s rule. I took a better look at the case. It was black except for the Soulsilver logo on one side and Heartgold on the other. “Did a bunch of cases come out like this?” I asked nervously.
“Yes they did. It was a promotion sent by a company and they used the two legendaries for their logo this year.” Nurse Joy said. Ah okay. Got riled over nothing. Why get riled up at all? Use of legendary Pokemon images aren't uncommon within the Pokemon world. Relics and of the such as well are not uncommon.
There would be no reason for Mikki-Sue to get riled up or nervous at all. She simply does it because she's 'so special and from another world' that apparently, that makes it worth while to get nervous about. - Quote :
- I opened the case and saw several indents in the shapes of other badges. I put the Zephyr badge in its proper place.
“Thank you again Nurse Joy.” I said. People of the pokemon world seem to be so much nicer than the real world. Well, I can see what kind of person Mikki-Sue's self insert is. - Quote :
- “It was no problem.” Nurse Joy said.
“Alright Haru, Beep Bop, come on out!“ I said. “You two were fantastic in that battle! I couldn’t of done it with out you.” I said showing them the badge. “And now we’re off to the next gym!” Haru looked really excited. Beep Bop showed a little interest and well Bara is always by my side. “Return. Come on Bara, we’re just getting started.”
After that we both were tearing out of Violet City. It felt good to run out like that. The pavement gave way to a dirt trail and my feet bounced up even more.
“Ah this is more I like it, fresh air and green trees.” I said before I hi something and fell on my back. I looked up to see it was a rather oddly sparse tree. A really odd tree.
“Are you alright?” Someone asked I am so done with this today. I really am. This is so stupid that it feels like I'm being punched multiple times.
Boring, tedious, and stupid.
Things you never want in your fic along with Mary-Sues. | |
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