{Review/Rant} If These Walls Could Talk {Zak Bagans Oneshot - Gappy15cancer}

So, I stumbled on a fanfic that Gappy15cancer wrote two years ago. You may know her for some of her crappy Avengers fics. How it has 5 stars, no idea.

So, shall I begin my own torture?

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Placing a hand over your nose you gazed up at Linda Vista and took in her large structure; white paint coated her surface as the many square windows looked down upon you all as though calculating your presence.

That same stench hadn't dissipated since your arrival and as you looked over at your friend who grinned back you. “Why are we here Samantha?” you finally asked while removing your hand.

“Linda Vista is the most haunted place here in LA, despite the Roosevelt Hotel but ya know, I'm curious ________.” she finished while biting her lower lip in anticipation. “You scared?” she suddenly added.

Okay, if we know both character's names, what's with the "____." crap?

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“I really wanna be here, but I have a midterm tomorrow.” you said while casting Linda Vista another long look.

“Okay _______, you can stay here. But I'm going in.” Samantha said while lifting the crowbar in her hands and used it to break off the contraption that held the doors locked together.

Once she was able to pry the doors apart, she went in as you followed despite feeling a little uneasy about the place and her given gruesome history. Shutting the door behind you, you turned around in time to see that Samantha was going up the stairs leading to the second level.

“Wait Sam!” you called while following after her.

Reaching the second level you found that Samantha was no where to be seen and instead found that the entire level was devoid of life. “Sam!” you called again.

This second person stuff is really getting irritating...

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Upon not receiving any response you slowly walk forward down the darkened hallway, the beam from your flashlight wasn't as bright as you hoped it would be. Continuing down you hear a loud noise and it takes you a couple of seconds to finally register where it had come from. You moved the light to your left and found that the door had been slammed shut.

“Samantha, if this is you being a bitch I don't like it.” you had meant for it to sound like you were upset, but the trembling in your tone prevented that impression.

No one responds.

“Sam!”

Loud footsteps are coming from behind you, and before you know it you turn around and immediately let out a small scream.

“Shit man!” a guy yells in response as your flashlight falls from your hand and lands on the floor.

Your mouth is wide open as you place a hand on your chest in order to calm your heart rhythm, “You scared me.”

“You scared me!” the guy responds as more footsteps are heard coming from behind the man, and when you look over you find two more guys walking towards you both. Squinting the darkness you bent down to retrieve your flashlight and then shone the beam upon them. The first man you had come across was heavyset with a goatee and a close shaved head. The next man had short dark hair that was spiked up in the front (fauxhawk) and was sporting a look as though he was annoyed by finding you. You could barely make out a tattoo on the inside of his wrist, and another was peeking out on his left shoulder from the confines of his tight shirt. The last had a goatee as well, but it wasn't as thick as the man you had ran into; his dark brown hair was slicked back and he appeared to be amused by the current situation, while he adjusted the camera.
The doors are supposed to be LOCKED without any way to break it, you idiot! No one's allowed inside during a lockdown unless previously decided! The owner of Linda Vista would have left with the key, besides, something like this would mess up the episode.
Standing there dumbfounded, you chose to introduce yourself meekly, since you were still slightly intimidated by the way the guy sporting the tattoos was staring at you. “I'm Nick,” the man with the camera perched on his shoulder answered. “This is Aaron,” he pointed to the bald man in front of you. “And Zak.” his finger moved towards the guy who was giving you a pointed look.

"What are you doing up here? Wait, no, better question: How did you get in here?" You frowned at him before shrugging.

"My friend and I came here, we were curious but then she ditched me."

"I asked how you got in here,” Zak emphasized while looking behind you. “You're trespassing."

"And you're not?" you retorted.

He snorted before crossing his arms over his chest, "We have permission to be here."

“By who? The Governor?”

“...Don't be mean...” A cold feeling ran through you as soon as that chilling voice had spoke, and already you were beginning to feel dread overcome you in thick suffocating waves. The voice had sounded like a young girl, and Samantha's voice did not sound like that at all. This tone was similar to that of a little girl; but the way she had said it, it was eerie enough to allow the hairs on your arms to stand straight up.

I highly doubt this would happen. They would have known of a spirit being there with their equipment. And why does everyone have the personality of a rock?

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“Nick, you got that?” Zak asked while looking back towards him just as Nick had rewound the digital recorder he had.

“Yes I did.”

“Got what?” you questioned as Zak seemed to ignore you in order to listen to the recording.

“That was a ghost,” Aaron answered while shifting the camera from his left shoulder and over onto the right. Judging by the look on your face, he concluded that you were still too spooked out to register what had just happened. “You didn't think that was real, did you?”

Questioning your own skepticism, you shrugged and watched as both investigators played the audio over and over again. “I'm not a firm believer in the supernatural, per se.”

“Start believing princess,” Zak said while looking at you through his camera. “You're gonna be on lock down with us until dawn.”

“Um, no I'm not,” you stated. “Samantha broke off the lock, I can just leave through there.”

You trained the light on him and witnessed the smirk that came about his face, “We saw that, and the security guard is re-chaining those doors as we speak.”

“I can't stay.” you insisted.

“Sorry, but we're already rolling.” Nick answered while training his camera all over the hallway.
I didn't see this coming, I swear....Okay, I did, can we get to the point?
Disbelief began to sweep over you as you ran a hand through your hair and angrily tossed it over your shoulder just as Zak began speaking. “Can you give us your name?” he shouted into the dark air of the hallway while Aaron and Nick held their breaths for the response.

“You're completely bonkers,” you stated in a monotone voice. “This is gonna get-”

“Play that again!” Nick did as he was told while Zak calmly placed a hand over your mouth to keep you from saying anything.

“...You're completely bonkers...Emma...” A squeak of surprise escaped your throat but was muffled by Zak's large hand just as he, Nick, and Aaron exchanged surprised ridden glances through their cameras.

Zak would never do that, she's getting his personality so wrong...Ow, my head...

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Zak removed his hand while looking back at you, once more, through his camera. “What do you say now _______?”

You glared at him, “Let me out.”

“Fantastic idea, the surgical ward it is.”
Wonderful, the useless blank name inserts are back!
Taking the stairs back down once more, you followed closely behind Zak since he had made you turn off your flashlight in order to “keep the experience alive” so to say. This resulted in you practically touching his back and the wall in order to prevent yourself from stumbling.

“That's you touching me again right?”

“Well I wouldn't have to if you'd let me use my flashlight.” you hissed just after you reached the last step.

“This is a ghost hunting experience that not everyone gets to witness _____,” he responded while keeping his digital recorder rolling. “We don't use flashlights, we want to make our audience feel like they're with us.”

“I guess you have a point.” you muttered as Zak made a sharp right while you kept up with him.

“So...your friend ditched you?” Zak asked while nudging you with his elbow.

You nodded but quickly remembered he couldn't see you in this never ending veil of darkness that threatened to swallow you whole. “Yeah, she wanted to come here because she was 'curious'.”

“That is definitely not a real friend.” He said to you while keeping his attention on the camera; still, you could tell that his tone held sympathy.

“...She's gone...”

Here comes the 'feel sorry for me' party~!

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Zak froze mid step as he turned the camera on you in order to catch your expression; when he looked through the screen, he managed to catch you with your mouth open in shock. “Did you fuckin' hear that?” he whispered as he saw you nod in horror. “Was that you talking to us?” he called out.

Awaiting it's response, you found yourself edging closer to him just as a rush of cold air was felt upon the back of your neck. Humming could be heard coming from behind Zak and as quickly as it was heard, it was gone.

You placed a hand over your chest for the umpteenth time that evening, your erratic heart beat was causing you to become overwhelmed by the anxiety that was building. Your breathing was coming out in harsh breaths as you struggled to calm down. Zak quickly took notice and reached out steadily to place a hand on your quivering shoulder, “Take deep breaths, _____. Calm down.”

“...Calm down ______...” the little girl's voice had returned which caused you to give a sudden abrupt laugh.
Failed attempt at being suspenseful~
“Are you concerned for her, Emma?” Zak called while keeping his camera trained on you.

“We're not even in the surgical ward yet.” you noted.

“Well, sometimes the spirits can sense anxiety buildup and other emotions. They're drawn to it like moths to the light.”

“So you want me to be your guinea pig?”

*insert WTF EMOTE here*

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“If you be so kind, we planted another 'X' around here somewhere...” the ghost hunter trailed off while using his camera to find the source. “Right there!” he shouted while allowing you to see the black tape that was in a shape of an 'X' on the tile flooring.

“What do you want me to do?” you questioned as he shoved the tiny digital recorder into your hands.

“Keep that rolling ______, seems like she's attracted to your energy.” He noted while turning the camera left and right in order to catch any possible sightings. “Can you do something for us? Can you slam that door?” Zak turned towards one of the many doorways to your guys' right in hopes for Emma to react.

Biting your lower lip in anticipation, you took notice of just how pitch black this hospital truly was. In a second, Zak quickly turned back to you and took his recorder while also giving you the camera in return. “You know how to work that?” he questioned as you adjusted the picture onto him.

“Is this good enough for you?”
Now I'm getting confused as to who's talking...and what about Aaron and Nick? They've been uncharicteristically quiet. Normally Aaron would've freaked out by now, with the group's dislike of child ghosts.
Watching him through the mini LCD screen you caught him just as he rolled his eyes and pass you that same smirk. “Just don't run out if you to start to hear things.”

“Where am I gonna run to? You said everything was locked down.”

Still watching him through the screen you saw him come closer as his smirk seemed to widen, “You can go through the tunnel that connects to the mental hospital. That is if you like dark, long hallways.”

“You don't even know me, and yet you're picking on me.”

Zak gave a careless shrug while turning back to ask the ghost more questions, “Were you a patient here?”

“Why would you ask something so obvious?”

“Please refrain from talking.” He countered. Zak then took a few steps towards you while keeping the recorder in the air, “You seem to be drawn to _______, can I ask you why?” A chill creeps up your back just as that unexplainable cold air greets you. Pressing the rewind button , he looked back at you just as you recorded his spooked expression. “You heard her didn't you?”

WE KNOW HER NAME, STOP WITH THE "_____."!

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“A whisper, yeah.” you answered as Zak held up the device and then began the tape again.

“You seem to be drawn to ______, can I ask you why?...It's my secret...” Zak rewound the tape. “It's my secret.”

You were no psychic, that was for damn sure, but you just couldn't shake off this feeling that Emma seemed to ring a bell. “Let's go to the surgical ward.” you suggested just as Zak looked up and at the camera. Confusion overcame his features but in a minute it quickly morphed into one of slight excitement.

“Let's.”


He took the lead and the camera in order to pay attention to where he was headed, and you followed him while be careful of where you were stepping. “So, I never asked what you guys were doing here.”

Zak seemed to let out a snort while turning down the next hallway, “We're apart of this show...that go to haunted places and check it out for ourselves to see if it haunted or what not.”
“Oh,” you say softly while keeping a hand on his well-toned back. “You guys are the TAPS crew huh?”

He seemed to stumble a bit before completely turning on you, camera in your face and all. “That better have been a joke, we're the Ghost Adventures Crew princess. You know what? I'm editing this recording and pulling what you said out.”

“You go ahead and do that Zak I'm sure it's gonna boost your ego some.”

“This is for show you know,” he said matter-of-factly. “And you're gonna be on it when it comes out.”

“So, you're Tango then huh?”

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He turned back around and avoided your question as he continued down to the surgical ward, and in a few minutes you both entered the place. Zak began speaking into the camera while he made you turn on the recorder once more. He turned the camera onto himself while beginning to talk, “This is the part of the hospital that was said to be the last place any patient would see before dying.”
A sudden memory is beckoned in your head and before you realize it, your seeing yourself spread out on a hospital bed. Looking over to your left you come face to face with another little girl your own age, she too was currently lying in bed and hooked up to an oxygen mask. Chills break you from your vision as a shudder passes through your body and Zak quickly takes notice of this.

“You alright ______?”

“I know this might seem so cliché at the moment Zak,” you respond while squinting at him through the darkness even though he is able to see you. “But I think I was a patient here, back when I was younger.”

Wha...I....How is that...?!

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Although you couldn't see him properly, his features quickly turned into one of excitement and curiosity with a mix of disbelief. “No freakin' way, because if that's the case then Emma must feel some kinda connection since you used to be here. You sure you're not pulling a fast one?”

“I swear on your life.” you say nonchalantly which causes him to snort from your response.

“You know _______,” Zak began. “You're alright. I was assuming you were gonna be a typical girl and cling to me and scream every time you heard something spooky, but it turns out, you're very calm. As opposed to Aaron.”

You scoffed while folding your arms with the digital recorder in the air, “First off, I may be a 'typical girl' be we 'typical girls' have feelings too you know, sexist bastard. And second, I am not calm. Not calm one bit. I am freaked out of my mind, it's just that I know screaming isn't gonna get me anywhere.”

Zak in took your response before nodding even though you couldn't see him, “Well just to let you know, while you were talking, a wave of mist blew behind you and disappeared.” you opened your mouth to comment before he cut you off again, “I have an idea. Hang on.”
Ghostly mists are rarely seen, especially in that sort of darkness. Why the heck are they able to see them so easily now?
He takes a few steps closer to you while maneuvering the camera in order to capture both you and him on film. His arm snaked around your waist and pulled you to him as you were pulled into his firm chest, “She seems to hate it when I'm near you.” Zak's breath tickles your earlobe gently while he looks into the camera. “Right now I'm gonna use _______ as bait since Aaron is on the upper levels with Nick.” he said while turning to face you.

The faint beam of light coming from the camera illuminated the fine features of his face more prominently. You were able to make out his fine chiseled features and his mischievous green eyes while he stared into your [e/c] ones. Zak's face came closer and in that moment he planted a small chaste kiss on your cheek.

“...Stop it!...”

You pulled away from Zak's hold while sending him a look of confusion, “This spirit, it's jealous or what?” you asked while handing Zak the recorder.

No...just no...

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“I think Emma is jealous, because every time I'm close to you she makes herself known.” he clarified.

“Emma seems so familiar to me,” you recited the name over in your head as Zak watched you curiously. “I used to have respiratory problems when I was a child, and I remember I had to stay at a hospital for a week straight. Didn't know which hospital that was, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that it was this one. I think we might've shared a room.”

“You and Emma.” He stated.

You nodded just as you heard the humming start up again for the second time that night, a soft but childlike voice was heard for another thirty seconds before it stopped altogether. Zak placed his hand once more on your shoulder just as you began to feel tears building up, and in that small but heartfelt moment, the device in your hand caught another message. “...Miss you ______.”

Arms brought you to a familiar chest just as he placed the camera down on the metal counter top, you sniffled a little while relishing in his warm embrace. “Let it all out.” Zak murmured just as you looked up at him, even though you the same darkness clouded your vision, you knew he was looking down at you as well.

“You're not a sexist bastard after all, you're okay in my book TAPS dude.”

“I am not that old. Aaron maybe, and even Nick, but not me.”

“Just how old are you then?” you inquired.

“...33.”

“Yeah, you're twice as old as I am.”

“And you?”

“Whatever age you want me to be.” you covered your mouth with your free hand just as you felt Zak take your flashlight and switched it on to beam down upon you.

What is this...I don't even.....

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You could see him smirk once again, “Is that a flirtatious remark? Because if it was, then I don't mind. Not one bit.”

“Guys are you down here?!” Nick called just as Zak looked back towards the swinging doors of the operating room.

“Yeah! Let's head over to the mental hospital.” He called back before turning back to you. “Want to come? I was kidding about you being on lock down with us, you don't have to.”

You pondered the idea to leave and return home to campus; studying throughout the night for midterms seemed like a good enough deal. Then maybe you would come across Sam and bring her hell. Feeling guilt would surely allow her to know just how much of a bad friend she was tonight.
“I'm gonna throw holy water on you if you don't answer me.”

Then again, sticking with the crew seemed more exciting then going back to study for midterms anyways. “Let's go check out that mental hospital.”

Zak's smirk never left his face as he held onto you and before you knew it he leaned in close by your ear. “I think you and I are gonna become real close from now on, if you know what I mean ______.”

“I might, but if you don't let go I'm gonna shout rape.” Hearing him snort in response he released you before you held his face in your hands and pulled him down to kiss you.

“Dude, who would kiss in a place like this?” Aaron asked as Nick shrugged while watching you both through his camera. Just then, a door slammed shut from the hallway, causing him and Aaron to both jump from the sudden scare.

“Hey Zak, _______! Come on, we have to finish the lockdown. At least wait until after."

I'm glad this is over. WHY would someone write a oneshot about a real person, let alone get it this wrong? Oi, my head hurts after that...

I certainly hope it wasn't him, otherwise the safety of ghost hunting is doomed.