Celestial Brush of Sporking [Okami]: "A cry to the heavens. A cry to you. {2}"

Chapter two? Nooooo. D':

Yuri walked down the silent halls of the palace aimlessly. Her thoughts wondered to the events that had happened today, and especially the event about a certain man she could not stop thinking about.

A little protip to all those out there, a little cliché here and there can help, especially if you put your own spin on it. Here? This is a cliché that is best avoided as it is rushed, wooden and frankly a little sloppy in development.

That wasn't the only main thing she wondered about, she also wondered what Waka had stayed behind to talk to Queen Himiko about. It bugged her she had to admit, but she would not poke her nose into something that was not her business. All of the new Tao members had gone back to their head-quarters, along with Waka, probably to carry on with business unattended to. Himiko had offered Waka and the Tao troopers to spend the night in the palace, but he objected, but was polite and kind about it. Yuri smiled gently.

'Cause Waka didn't want to be around Yuri-Sue!!

It's rather telling that we received no real dialogue or interaction from the Tao but only from the Queen, Yuri and Waka.

'Waka is so kind, and caring…' she would have carried on, but Queen Himiko had interrupted her thoughts.

Kind and caring? Uh, no - Waka is selfish, didn't Shiranui and I cover this back in chapter one?

Let us not forget how he rather enjoys teasing and mocking others from time to time.

"Ah Yuri-chan, what are you doing wondering the palace at this time of night?" Himiko questioned curiously, a small smile on her face.

Yuri jumped startled by Himiko's sudden appearance. She bowed quickly and respectfully.

"Himiko-sama! I am so sorry! please forgive me, I was just thinking" Yuri explained quietly, but loud enough for Himiko to hear. Himiko laughed softly and walked over to Yuri and took her hand.

Everything is in delicate extremes with these people, it is annoying and shows us that the writer is not aware of how to individualize anyone or to really get in-depth. Really, just how many times am I going to have to hear about how Yuri does something softly or quietly?

"What were you thinking about?" Himiko questioned, the same curious gleam in her eyes never leaving. Yuri blushed, remembering the last thoughts she was having were focused on Waka.

Haha, you're not funny, Yuri...

"W-well I-I uh……" Yuri stuttered dumbly, her face taking the same color of red that it had this afternoon when she had met Waka.

*face-paw* Not again...

"You are blushing Yuri-chan" Himiko noted, sounding amused.

To me, Queen Himiko seemed more serious than this.

Yes, Himiko was more serious than this. Can I use my Tundra Beads to freeze this girl and blast her away?

Yuri looked up at Himiko, the red color still not leaving her face. Himiko smiled, and her hand tightened on Yuri's.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Himiko asked. Yuri thought for a moment, and she decided that she could trust Himiko. Yuri did not know what these feelings were, and how they were directed at Waka, maybe Queen Himiko could explain it.

I am not enjoying the direction this is taking at all.

Susano should just show up and ruin everything, that would be entertaining...

As true as that would be I would not get my hopes up for that happening.

Yuri nodded slowly and stood up straighter so she could look Himiko directly in the face.

"Yes, Himiko-sama, I would like that" Yuri agreed softly. Himiko smiled.

This is like one of those 'He's just not that into You' movies...

"Follow, we will take a walk around the aristocratic quarters" Himiko suggested, as she began to pull Yuri along. Yuri stumbled, but obliged and began to follow Himiko.

Nobody should even be awake at this time, well, except for Waka and I.

Once outside of the palace, they began to walk around, admiring the other palaces.

I don't think she realizes just what a palace is. It's more of an overly elaborate mansion and not made up of various palaces though they can be comprised of several wings or buildings separated but that remain on the property. If the latter is the case then it is still the palace itself but it is not considered plural.

"Yuri-chan, what has been troubling you?" Himiko asked as they walked through the brisk night air. Yuri blushed again.

I am beginning to believe that Yuri has quite a blood problem, what with her blood rushing to her face so much.

"It is Waka-san…." Yuri tailed off. Himiko nodded and nudged her arm to continue. Yuri took a deep breath.

*growls at the 'San' part*

"Well…when I saw him, it felt like the world had stopped, like it was just the two of us…and then I get this weird feeling in my stomach, and I felt blood rush to my face…I don't know what's wrong with me…" Yuri looked down in fright, the possibilities of something being wrong with her going through her mind. In truth though, even though Yuri was afraid something was wrong with her, she liked the feelings she had been having towards Waka, they felt good.

I've never had any good feelings toward that mo-fo...

Himiko laughed, "Oh Yuri-chan, there is nothing wrong with you" Himiko laughed more. Yuri blinked and looked at her surprised.

There really IS a problem with Yuri-Sue, the author just dumbed down the characters so much...

"Oh Yuri-chan, these feelings are natural! You are twenty, naturally you should have felt these feelings in your child hood." Himiko explained, her laughter dying down into a soft chuckle.

I hardly remembered being a pup.

"R-really, b-but why am I having these feelings now?" Yuri questioned, a confused look graced upon her features.

Oh, boy... Would you look at that, folks, we're in the midst of a Sue cliché - that being that the Sue in question has never felt love or any sort of attraction to another until her "twu wuv" appears. Sickening.

"As my servant, I have kept you from boys, you know that you have seen a boy, and talked to a boy, but never had been so affected, because the only boys you have ever talked to was my guards, and you had no feelings for them" Himiko looked up at the moon.

Laaaaammmmeeee.

Someone put me out of my misery, please.

"Do you understand?"

"I do understand, but Himiko-sama?" Yuri asked, another blush coming.

"Yes?"

"What is this feeling? Or, these feelings?" Yuri said, correcting herself hastily. Himiko smiled.

"I know you have heard of love, but maybe it is not at that stage yet, so maybe the right word for it is crush…" Himiko explained quietly. As the two began to walk back to the castle.

Nobody ever talks like this!!

Not even the folks back in my day talked like this.

"Himiko-sama, thank you" Yuri whipered, as the wind carried her voice off into the wind.

Am I supposed to applaud your attempt at a poetic ending?

Maybe she'll become mute...

This is the second chapter in and I already know where this will be going. Waka will fall in love with this Sue, always thinking about her for no reason given. The writer is doing the biggest of poor plots and cliches. She really does not know what she is doing and it's getting painful to read.

She literally has no other reason for being where she is, she's just there. She gives so little information as to why her character is so 'amazing' to be the highest of servants to Himiko that it's ridiculous.

And the 'Waka is kind and caring' part. Yea, no, that went right over my head. He is not that kind of person at all. He insults in a form that is subtle but hits when a person realizes it...in my view, Waka's kinda like a troll...