Resident Evil: Project Zero [11] Spork/Review

So, here I am, yet again at the sporking wheel, so to speak! It's been a long while but what can I say? Absolutely nothing happens! I feel that I deserved a break for awhile there.

Well, without further adieu let's get to it.

Resident Evil: Project Zero -11-

Um it took a long time but here is chapter 11 of this lame story that will soon turn out good!! Thank you, Gabby15cancer for an idea for this chapter.

I swear to god I didn't know Gabby15cancer had any hand in this!

Also, if you think it's so lame then why would you even post it? You should use your time to edit and revise it until you're satisfied that it's as good as it can get and then even have a beta or two glance over it for good measure before posting it!

When we got back to where all of us were suppose to meet, I was exausted from that plan Leon had. We had to run down the hall escaping from the mice, and we jumped out the window and my back really hurt now! We were the second group to return. Claire, Jill and David were waiting.

I'm not sure if it's just because of the long hiatus from this that I had but I can't, for the life of me, recall what was going on here. Something about mutated animals...? I think?

"Oh, great! Have you guys found Wesker?" Claire said excited. We all shook our heads.

I'm sorry, what? Why would Claire be excited about finding Wesker? She's more down-to-earth, she'd be serious in a situation like this. Thanks, author, for showing your butt and how you don't understand basic characterization.

"All we found was a bird that tried to kill us. A bald eagle." Leon said.

I haven't actually addressed this before, but it really bothers me. You shouldn't have a full stop when you have a dialogue tag! It's also bad form to make "a bald eagle" a fragment. It's an aside of information, the period between "us" and "a" should instead be a dash. In fact, that sentence should look like this;

"All we found was a bird that tried to kill us - a bald eagle," Leon said.

"And some terrifying mice." I added. I thought those stupid little critters were worse than the eagle! Jill raised an eyebrow.

"Right...terrifying mice. It must have been a nightmare." Jill commented with sarcasm.

I swear to god, Jill is channeling me. Seriously, the descriptions of the mutated mice weren't all that intimidating. In fact, they still sounded quick small and would easily be kicked away or stomped on.

"She's not lying. They were worse than you think, chica." Carlos said. David just stood there. I don't think he was listening to the conversation.

"Look!" Claire pointed out as Chris, Sheva and Rebel were running toward us, breathless.

Who is Rebel again? I seriously don't even know.

"We found him, we found Wesker!" Chris said between breaths.


"He got away, but I think if we find a woman named "Ada Wong" we can find him." Sheva said.

You know, if Chris had found Wesker he wouldn't have run back to find the others, even if he did get away. Chris is headstrong - vehemently so - he'd go running off after the guy while radioing back to the others.

Leon looked shocked and just stared at Sheva.

I'm so tired of Suethors who only tell, tell, tell! Can't we get just one who can decently show us reactions?

"Ada! How do you know about her?" he exclaimed.

"You know her? The woman in red?" Rebecca asked him.

"I do too. But that's impossible...she died in Raccoon City by falling off a cliff or something." Claire pointed out. Who the heck was Ada Wong?

"By falling off a cliff or something?" Seriously? Raccoon City has no cliffs! She wasn't even there for that, anyways! That was Leon who witnessed it!

"No, she's alive. On the mission of saving the president's daughter, she dropped by for...a little visit." Leon said, thinking about it.

"She survived? But how?" Claire wondered. "And what does Wesker want with her?"

"She works for him." Leon answered.

"Enough talking! We have to find this man!" Chris forced. I nodded my head.he seemed to really hate Wesker the most.

Not that you can tell by the text here. Chris just sounds rather pushy at best.

"Chris, you, Carlos and I should be a group. I want to find him with you!" Claire said.

"I dunno, Claire. I don't want you facing Wesker. You might get killed." Chris worried about Claire.

Can you please crank up the emotion in this? I'm falling asleep here!

"Chris, please, I haven't seen you in so long and I want to fight Wesker! The chances of any of us dying are pretty high so does it really matter?" she told him. Woh...goosebumps! The chances of any of us dying are pretty high. That was creepy...but I couldn't disagree with her.Carlos stepped up.

You know, the text just insinuated that what's-her-face-protagonist-chick had zero idea of their chances of survival. This just goes to show how completely oblivious she is to anything around herself. That's not a good sign, especially for someone who is working in a group for something important like they (supposedly) are. In fact, it's downright detrimental to bring someone with that kind of outlook and mentality along because they can easily let their guard down and do some damned fool thing to get someone killed.

Granted, this is a Sue fic so that's never going to be addressed but still....

"She's tough and I...we will protect her. That is if anything goes wrong." Carlos said, obviously trying to convince him to take her. But why would Carlos do that? Oooh...maybe so he can be in a group with Claire. He obviously really liked her.


Chris nodded his head.

"Let's meet back here in about an hour or so." Claire said with a big smile on her face, "We should be able to find Wesker."

Uh, yeah, no. Wesker was able to fool the entire world to think he was dead for years. If he doesn't want to be found he won't be.

"Joanne and...David, the two new people. You can team up with me." Sheva said cheerfully. I looked over at Jill to see if she was sad about not being in a group with David. I thought Jill seemed to really like him. She did look kind of sad...but she was cool with it. I mean, she already teamed up with him.


"Okay." David said, walking over to Sheva.

"All right." I said. Jill, Rebecca and Leon all looked at eachother. I had a feeling none of them really knew eachother, but they pulled out their handguns and were ready anyway. We all took different ways.

I'm pretty sure I've said it before but I'll say it again; I really have no idea what's going on here. I don't know what the area looks like, I can't envision anything or get into the story because the Suethor seems to be allergic to giving supporting detail and background information sprinkled in along the meat of the story.

We walked down the street, looking for Albert Wesker. Once in a while we would just look over at eachother, but for no reason, really.


Suddenly, a deformed lion with it's tail where his nose should have been,


claws as long as a waterbottle, and teeth the size of a ruler jumped on Sheva and knocked her right over! She tried pulling out her knife but the lion would have eaten her in a flash if she did! She tried pushing the lion off while David and I shot at the lion with our handguns...but I accidently hit Sheva's leg!


"Aah!" she screamed, not just because of the lion but also because of me. Eventually, the lion got really hurt by David's handgun bullets, so it got off of Sheva and screamed...."Rawr! Rawr!"

I... what? Are we for serious right now? I'm being punked, aren't I?

Die, c'mon, die!

I hoped. The lion wasn't going to give up yet, though. He ran for David but Sheva shot him with her machine gun just in time. The lion fell back, dead as a bug sprayed with bug-spray.


Sheva was still lying on the ground because of her leg. She looked

EXTREMELY mad at that thing. Her face looked like it was about to pop.


"Freakin' Project Zero!" she yelled in that accent of hers. Now it was my time to speak up.

"I'm sorry! I'm very sorry, Sheva! I really need to practice my aiming." I apoligized. She sat up.

"It's okay. It's not that bad." she said.

I- WHAT?! She just got essentially mauled by a mutant lion, shot in the leg by her teammate somehow and she's just fine?!

David pulled out a first aid spray and after healing her, helped her up. She said it wasn't that bad, but there was a bullet in her leg! "I've been through worse. Wesker has shot me before, and Chris too."

"Really? How?" I asked.

Oh, I don't know, maybe with, y'know, a gun!

"Well, we were trying to get this thing off of Jill's chest that made Wesker control her. You know we had to fight Jill? Well, Jill fought us. She felt so sorry. Anyway, Wesker got a few shots at us." she explained.

"Ouch, sorry about that." I said. Wow, Sheva was tough.

"Talking about me?" A low voice out of no where spoke up. Sheva immediatly pulled out her handgun and pointed to random places around us.

"You know, Project Zero has to be better than Uroboros. At least the animals don't look as creepy." that voice said again.

I... what?

I pulled out my handgun and so did David, but we didn't really point it anywhere.

"Who are you!?" Sheva yelled out. The man laughed...er...giggled kind of. Then a tall man in a black outfit with sunglasses and blond hair came out from behind a building with a woman in a red dress and black butterflies on it following him. Wait just a second...red dress?

Talking about me?

Could they be...

Oh, god damnit, would you just shut up! You're not fooling anyone, you have no tension in this scene and it blows ass! Suethor, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!

"Wesker!" Sheva screamed at him. David, Sheva and I all started shooting him...or tried to anyway. He was....like Sonic! He dodged every bullet that came his way! Left, right down!

Left, right, left, right, up, up, down, down. ... Oh... we weren't inserting cheat codes into games? My bad!

Nobody was that fast! It was like something you would see from the Matrix or from a video game or something...

*dryly* Ha. Ha. Ha. You're so clever and witty. What a card you are. Please, stop. Ha. Ha.

"Hmph. I have no time for games. Ada, dispose of them." Wesker said as he walked away. Soon, I couldn't see him anymore.

Uh, yeah, no. Ada's more stealth, less attack dog. Someone like Krauser would have been more likely to be ordered to dispose of whoever Wesker wanted dead, not Ada. In fact, if this is what it was going to come down to then why did Wesker show up here at all? He's a ham-fisted kind of guy, especially in later games. He'd show up only if he felt sure that something was being accomplished or to antagonize Chris.

"Wesker!" Sheva yelled, running the direction he went. Ada pulled out her machine gun and started shooting for Sheva but David already shot her in the leg...the one that was sticking out of her dress. The dress was cut on the side. Sheva quit running...it was too late to catch up to Wesker. Who knows where he could have been? It was time for a fight.


I pulled out my machine gun and tried shooting Ada but...do I have to remind you about my aiming?

I hit her other leg and she fell to the ground but she didn't give up.

Apparently you do have to remind us about your aiming because for all your bitching about how horrible it is it's not a consistent flaw. In fact, shooting Sheva in the leg netted no long-lasting consequence because in this bizarre universe, you've kept the game mechanic of first aid sprays instantly healing any and all wounds.

She shot David....right to his hand so he dropped his handgun.

"Ah...." he said in pain. But that was just a start! Ada shot right at his chest...and he fell to the ground.
"David!" I yelled. I ran up to him and got on my knees. He was in serious pain.

No shit! I thought he'd be perfectly peachy-keen! [ / sarcasm mode ]

"Don't worry, David, I gotcha." I pulled out a first aid spray and before I could heal him...there was a pain in my back and I fell on my stomach.

"Ow! Ouch!" I exclaimed.


She shot me in the back! I was burning, it stung so bad! I couldn't really even think straight...was...was...I I going t...to die?

That's... not exactly how gunshot wounds work....

I suddenly felt a whole lot better...but still hurt. I looked behind me and Sheva had healed the both of us with that first aid spray I had.


Ada was much closer now and pointing her gun at us.

"Isn't it great that she saved you?" she said with a smooth voice, "Too bad there won't be anyone to save you after this." None of us were prepared...she was about to shoot us. We were dead...no doubt about it. But then I saw that her gun went flying out of her hands! I looked over and Carlos was there, pointing his gun to her!

Where are we? How much time has passed? Where has he been? How far away were the groups from one another? How did he show up here in the nick of time? What even is going on anymore?

He shot the gun right out of her hands! But when I saw Wesker punch him at sonic speed, that was the bad part. Blood came out of Wesker's back and a distance behind him were Chris and Claire shooting at him. Running at his usual speed, he appeared in front of them, hitting them both in the chest forcing them to fly back.

How would you know what Wesker's 'usual' speed is? As far as we know this is the first time you've ever seen him in action and thus have nothing to compare it to.

The way they landed on the ground looked painfull, but on the bright side Sheva was shooting Wesker now. What was I doing lying here?

Being a tripping hazard, I'm sure.

I got up and shot Wesker also, I got a few shots out of my handgun but, like always, I missed a few.

Out of no where, Wesker was in front of me, made an evil face


and his hand hit my chest. It didn't hurt though... I just couldn't see anything or hear anything. Come to think of it, I couldn't feel anything either. I felt dizzy and light headed. What was going on?

And that's the end of another drab, pointless chapter! Thank god, I thought it would never end for awhile there!