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 My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six)

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PostSubject: My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six)   My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) Icon_minitimeWed Aug 01, 2012 8:06 pm


Quote :


I no longer wrote in notebooks, I went ahead and bought myself some diaries instead. I had all my things of no value to me sold; all I kept was some things that my grandmother had left me.





Me: You know you really don't need to go out of your way to buy diaries, all those notebooks would have been fine to use as such. What the fuck are you buying? Pretty little hard covers with locks on them like a teenage girl? What are the things your Grandma left you? Are they important? These ambiguous items are never mentioned again! So why bring it up!?



Younger Me: Um...I don't know..


Quote :


I’d sold her house though; there was no point in keeping it. I took all my money out of the bank, I wouldn’t need that either. I donated most of it to the hospital, some charity as well. All my credit cards I had canceled. I also told my landlord I’d be moving out in about a week. By the time I was all done all that was left was my mattress, pillow, and blanket, with some food to live off of. Plus toiletries in the bathroom.

It had been now four weeks since I last saw the Joker and now today at work I would probably see him for the last time. I put my hair in pigtails before I went to work.





Me: Her coworkers are going to find her pigtails more than a little strange to be seen on a professional.



Quote :


I waited in my office for the Joker to arrive, tapping my fingers on my desk. I felt slightly nervous and well, impatient for awhile. I nearly jumped when he finally came in. He seemed to be surprised by the pigtails in my hair, then smiled and took a seat across from me.

“It’s a pleasure to see you Dr. Quinzel,” he said, seeming awkward.

“Same to you please call me Harley,” I said, almost shyly.





Me: There is now reason for her to be acting "shyly" is this some kind of flirting? It seems very inconsistent with not just her character but also the change she's gone through since being the Joker's doctor.



Quote :


“Ok Harley, you look lovely like a doll,” he said, his usual self with his devilish smile.

My sense of intellect came back and so did my backbone, I stood up with my hands leaning against my desk.

“Is that how you see me as? A doll?” I asked, with a confident smile.

“No, not really. You just look like one.” He said.

I walked to the front of my desk with my arms crossed.

“Tell me why you feel the need to do all the things you do,” I said, more like demanded.

He remained silent, like he didn’t want to talk about it.

“I’ll tell,” I said, walking up to him.

I bent over him, with my hands on the arms of the chair, my mouth was only an inch from his.

“Because you want to prove to everyone that everyone is just like you. You’re alone,” I whispered.

“Am I,” he said, glaring at me.

“No, not anymore,” I whispered.





Me: Ok, this is bullshit. The Joker doesn't get manipulated, this is so forced and contrived it makes me sick. This is also sooo off from what I'd written previously, the prior chapters give the impression that Harleen/Harley is the one being manipulated this scene and dialogue is very inconsistent. Which shows I definitely did not know how to write a complicated and complex relationship like that of the Joker and Harley Quinn.



Younger Me: Maybe you have a point...



Quote :


Before I could he grabbed me around the waist and slammed me into him, pressing his lips hard against mine. I gave in to his kiss and gladly kissed back, he was forceful almost desperate for my touch and it drove me nuts. He pushed me away for a moment and looked at me, like I were crazy. But I kissed him without another second and I felt heat rise within me as he pushed himself and I to the floor with him on top of me.

When it was over, I had butterflies in my stomach. We stood up and I placed a key to his room in his hands.

“You’ll be able to get out of your room with this, I suggest you use it at night, there’ll be less staff on duty.” I said.

I took out a small packet knife and handed that to him too.

“Use this too if you have to,” I said.





Me: Remember when she gave that bullshit lie during her interrogation about how she never knew what the Joker was going to do or if he'd kill anyone or not?! Well this just proves how much she doesn't give a shit about human life and how clumsy her justification is!



Quote :
I went over to my desk and took out his purple suit I’d taken and gave to him. He hid all these things under his shirt.




Me: Wait, wait wait! How did she get his suit!? Why would that even be in the hospital!? Wouldn't it have been in the police station as evidence!? WHY!!!!??????



Quote :
Before he left, he pulled me toward him and kissed me again. Then he cleaned the smeared lipstick off his face and left without another word. I cleaned my face, there was smeared lip stick on me too. I put more and on and left.




Me: This sentence," I cleaned my face, there was smeared lip stick on me too" is all kinds of wrong.



Younger Me: Yeah, it really does seem off.



Me: You're beginning to concern me, you've been agreeing with me throughout this chapter. You ok?



Younger Me: I don't want to talk about it.My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) 254225357



Quote :
He escaped that very day, at around midnight.




Me: Wouldn't it be "He escaped that very night, at around midnight?"



Quote :
That night…




Me: What the hell! It's already been established that it's night in the previous sentence!



Quote :


I sat in my apartment drinking some green tea, wearing a regular white tank-top and shorts. At around 1:00 am, I heard sirens outside and then a knock at the door, I knew who it was.

“Come in,” I said.

In came in police chief Gordon with a couple of other officers.





Me: He isn't the Chief of Police, he's the Commissioner!My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) 2276801876



Quote :


“What can I do for you officers?” I asked, smiling.

He walked toward me and had me stand up.

“Harleen Quinzel you are under arrest for accomplishing with the murderer the Joker. You have the right to remain silent anything you say can or will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney,” he said, as he handcuffed my hands behind my back.





Me: Again, you'd think after all the fucking Law & Order I watched growing up I'd have a police officer giving someone their rights correctly.



Quote :


I remained emotionless as he escorted me outside and had me seated in his police car. I smiled as I remained silent on the way to the police station, like a happy clown.
(I thought this sang went well with Harley and the Joker!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thC7AlLItww)





Me: Ugh, I don't care. I really don't fucking care...My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) 3224979720



Younger Me: I'M A HORRIBLE WRITER!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAH!!!!!My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) 848036400



Me: Oh God, shut up! There's only one chapter left!!My Harley Quinn Fanfiction (Part Six) 1471921684
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