Illegal Operations: Project K Sporking/Review [18]

~Project K~ {Leon S. Kennedy} Pt.18 No distractions please

“Shit.” Leon cursed as he looked through his binoculars to see Ashley being escorted, well, more like forced into a building beside the clock tower, by Salazar and his goons.

Karla must learn things by osmosis, how else would she know this information? Seeing as this is written in second person point of view as Karla being the focal character she shouldn't be able to rattle off what Leon is seeing through the binoculars, after all.

“There are more fireball catapults too.” You pointed out as Leon was putting away his binoculars.

“Yeah so let’s make a quick dash for it.”

“Okay.”

He grasps your hand and the two of you run for the clock tower while dodging the fireballs being thrown.

Why would the two need to hold hands to run? In fact this would only hold them back if they had to make a quick dive to the side to avoid a fiery boulder bearing down on one of them.

You to make it up the side stairs while killing the Illuminados up there.

“Here,” Leon says while handing you his rifle with a smile. “Take out the bastards for me.” He says while winking as he ran up ahead to kill the remaining Illuminados.

“Here come the headshots! Thank you Master Chief! Well and Zachary too.”

Did she really just thank her "excellent" marksmanship skills on playing Halo?

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Its official there was going to be no breaks from danger, and it was proven as soon as you entered the room and defeated the Illuminados and the two Garradors.

At this point I should really be used to the lack of action scenes and yet every time I'm completely appalled and outraged over it.

Now upon entering the next room you saw Ashley on her knees with Salazar’s goons holding their spears against her head.

“Ashley!” Leon called out as she looked up to you and him.

“Leon! Karla!”

A mechanical chuckle was heard as the two of you looked straight ahead to see Salazar sitting on his throne like a bad little royal pain in the ass.

That insult is so badly phrased and awkward to read, let alone look at....

“Mr. Kennedy, Ms. Smith don’t you know when it’s time to throw in the towel?” he said before pressing a red button on his armrest.

Suddenly the floor beneath you two gave out and you two found yourselves falling through the pit.

THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ... Hm? What's that...? .... ... This isn't 300? ... Oh... Oh.... Well, shit....

“No! Leon! Karla!” Ashley cried out.

Why would Ashley call out in concern and fear for Karla? She's done nothing but abuse, threaten and mock her since they've gotten around the Bitorez Mendez fight. While Ashley probably wouldn't be gleeful at Karla's death she certainly wouldn't be too worried about her health and well-being.

“Crap!!” you shouted Again, this is typically something you'd say if you stubbed your toe not when you're falling to your death. but soon you found yourself frozen through the air…or so it seemed. “Why isn’t my spine broken?”

You mean to tell me that Karla did not feel her body suddenly jerk to a stop? An object in motion stays in motion and Karla was plummeting meaning she would not just "freeze" in the air like she says she did. Much less why would she not feel Leon's arm wrapped around her or his body next to hers to begin with?

“Would you prefer to die that way?” a familiar voice asked you as you registered the firm muscular arm wrapped around your waist, you shifted so that you were against Leon’s side as he was holding and supporting your guys’ weight on a grapple from his waistband.

“Hmm,” Salazar mused as he listened through a hearing thingy. “Where’s the sound of one’s impairment followed by a woman’s sweet sound of agony?”

That above paragraph is unnecessary as this is second person point of view. Anything that is not in Karla's immediate hearing or vision range should not be written about!

You and Leon both gave each other a glance before grabbing your pistol and aiming it at the speaker box.

“Well, fall for this old trick.” Leon mused back as he nodded at you while you pulled the trigger.

At the other end the sharp sound of the gunshot hurt his sensitive hearing as he pulled back with a look of pure anger and hatred. “OW!” Salazar shot to his feet in an instant. “NO MORE GAMES!!! KILL THEM BOTH INCLUDING THE WOMAN!!”

The goon in the red coat pulled away from Ashley as it headed off to find the both of you.

“Quickly! We shall prepare for the ritual!” Salazar shouted as the one in the black cloak nudged Ashley to get up and follow.

“Leon, Karla you’re alive.” She whispered before it nudged her again and they all left.

Once again, everything detailing Salazar, his "goons" and Ashley as of the moment should have been omitted from the chapter entirely. It's unnecessary considering Karla is still the focal point of the point of view of the audience. She has no knowledge of it, cannot see it and cannot hear it meaning she could not possibly know what's going on up above.

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“Careful.” You warned Leon as he reached the ground carefully maneuvering around the tall spikes.

“Calm down sweetheart I got you.”

I'm getting so sick of seeing that stupid pet name everywhere.

You huffed while stepping away from him to walk over to the Merchant.

After some buying of new weapons and such you climbed the ladder after Leon as you both ended up in the sewer tunnels. That’s when once again Leon’s communicator went off.

“So maybe you have nine lives but it doesn’t matter now Mr. Kennedy! I’ve sent my right hand to dispose of you and Ms. Smith.”

“You’re right hand comes off?” he asked sarcastically as you giggled.

Oh, you find that funny do you? Before you'd make any scathing remark you could about how "lame" Leon's responses were and yet when we finally get to what is possibly his lamest line ever in the game you find it funny. *sighs*

“Hmph, say whatever you please…DIE YOU WORMS!!!”

“You sure know how to piss him off.” You commented as he shrugs.

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“Eck, it smells likes Zachary’s p. t. socks.”

“I bet it does.” He grinned before leading the way with you following not so close behind him.

Splash.

“Thanks Karla I needed sewer water splashing my pants.”

“Your very welcome.” You replied cheekily

Ashley's in danger, there's an imminent threat coming at them and these two are fucking around in the sewers. In fact these two sound like teenagers at best and not professionals working to save the PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER.

while swiping the back of your hand across your forehead to rid of the sweat.

You continued on eventually going through a door and still you had to keep on walking. Suddenly you heard something slam and that made you jump.

Oh god, just how long is this taking them? The way this is written it's as if it's only taken a few seconds to a few minutes tops! Time apparently has just stopped functioning for the purposes of this fic!

“Leon.”

“I know.” He said as he grabbed your hand and continued on.

Enough with the hand grabbing already!

You two entered the first room on your right and you found out it was an elevator room, Leon let your hand go and proceeded towards the elevator to try the power. No such work the power was down.

“Damn, power’s down.” He muttered as you nodded. “Stay here, I’ll get it back on.”

He started past you, but you grabbed his wrist which caused him to stop in mid step, looking back at you.

“Be careful.”

He nodded and grinned, “I will sweetheart I’ll be back before you start to miss me.”

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Maybe it would’ve been wiser to have Karla with him, yeah; it would’ve been a whole lot easier. Salazar’s right hand man was right on Leon’s heels literally as he entered the power supply room while the door shut behind him.

I'm so tired of the whole "Karla would save the day!" theme that shows up from time to time. Because, for starters, being injected with T-Plasma (NOT A VIRUS, BY THE BY) would not grant her Sue-per psychic powers like the ability to manifest force fields. Yeah, the inhuman healing could have been used and still played well considering Wesker has such an ability but she just uses it to make Karla even more of a *~speshul snowflake~* than before.

Running towards the back of the room and shutting the power back on he made his way back to the shutter and he pressed the button to release the lock.

Oh great. Just his luck. He was going to have to wait. Suddenly a tentacle came from the ceiling above him and knocked him back into the wall forcefully. It was then he realized he had to kill it before it got to Karla.

Hey, asshole, I'd worry about killing it before it kills you first. God damn, even when she's not here Karla is still aggravating the shit out of me!

He ran towards a tank of nitrogen and suddenly got an idea, he waited for the creature to near and once it did he let it crash down to the ground instantly letting the gas freeze it in place.

He got out his Broken Butterfly and shot a round of bullets into the frozen creature, he then ran back towards the door and it was finally released. He looked back towards the creature and horror stricken his face…it was gone. His first thought instantly fell on Karla.


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You hated when Leon took so long but a buzzing sound brought you out of your daze as the elevator was brought up. Going towards it to open it, a sudden sharp pain ripped through your torso as you let out a cry of pain.

Oh God, yes~! Score one for Salazar's goon!

“Karla!” Leon shouted as you were then thrown into him knocking him off his feet and landing on his back with you on top of him groaning in pain.

“Come on sweetheart get up.” He pleaded as you rolled over onto your side huffing for air. That Sue-per human healing has conveniently been forgotten about again I see. That’s when the creature appeared and was aiming towards you once more…Leon blocked him with the folded chair he grabbed from the nearby table as suddenly it was ripped from his hands and thrown to the other side. “Shit.”

He then grabbed a grenade off his belt and stuffed it into the creature’s mouth before hauling you to your feet and ducking for cover.

Okay! BULLSHIT! Grenades are quick to go off! You're telling me that Leon just shoved an unpinned grenade into the creature's pincer-mouth, somehow DIDN'T get his hand bitten off in the process, and then picked up and moved the dead weight that Karla is for cover IN THE 3-5 SECONDS IT TAKES FOR A GRENADE TO GO OFF? FUCK YOU.

An ear splitting explosion cut through the air and pieces of the creature flew all over the place.

“You saved my life Scott.” You chuckled while lifting your shirt only to see that the wound had healed.

Oh, so NOW it heals now that she's successfully gotten to play Damsel in Distress. I gotcha. I hate everything.

“Scott? What happened to Leon or Kennedy?”

“I haven’t used Scott so…yeah. Deal with it.”

He chuckled while grabbing your hand and slipping off your beige fingerless glove and kissing the back of your left hand. “You’re so random, I love it.”


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“Boy it’s hot in here, might as well be in the earth’s core.”

“Well there is a pit of lava under us sweetheart.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

As you two neared the exit suddenly two el gigante’s came in.

“Oh come on.” You moaned while gritting your teeth in frustration.

“Karla I have an idea.”

“Listening.”

“I’ll climb up that ladder over there and swing down back here, it’ll attract one of them and then you pull the handle to let the trap door open so that way it can fall in the lava.”

“…I don’t follow.”

“Pull the handle when you see me swinging towards you.” He said almost growling.

“Ok, got it.”

I love how these assholes can just stand there and talk as two Gigante creatures come after them at the same time. I mean normally there'd be some narrative over how they're shouting to each other, dodging around the monsters, etc. etc. But here we don't have any of that, in fact we don't even have any tag lines to show who's speaking for most of this dialogue in this particular scene. So we're just left to assume that they're standing there and the Gigantes are politely off to the side waiting for them to finish before trying to viciously murder them.

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After battling and eventually killing both gigantes you two continued on only to battle more of those deadly insects while making you’re way back up to the surface.


You had to go through the deadly traps almost getting smashed by one of those weights if it wasn’t for Leon of course. Leon, stop that! You'd be freed from the Sue's vicious life-draining claws if you stopped pulling her out of danger like that! You two then went on a lift and finally you felt the cool breeze meet your sweaty, dirty face.

Meeting up with the Merchant you two continued onwards killing some Ganados who you gladly would prefer facing over those freaky Illuminados any day. You then found a pit in the ground in a shelter with a ladder going down.

“Ready sweetheart?”

You let out a sigh and adjusted your earpiece so that you could get into contact with Zachary.

“No distractions Zachary, Leon and I will be going through more possible danger than before.”

Because facing two Garradors and several zealots at the same time OR the two Gigantes previously wasn't life-threatening at all. Yeah, let's just tell our guide and informant to NOT CONTACT US even if they may have some amount of important information that needs to be patched through immediately.

“I’ve been keeping my trap shut most of the time what makes you think I’ll distract you now?” he said obviously slightly offended.

“I know you; sooner or later you’ll say something stupid or ask stupid questions.”

And of course these things happen only to continually remind us that, yes, Leon does have a Clone-Stu running around in this and that, yes, he does still very much in fact exist.

A slight pause on the other end, “What does S.T.A.R.S stand for?”

You sighed while rolling your eyes and smirking, “My point taken.”

“No seriously what does it stand for?”

“Goodbye brother.” You say while hanging up on him and glancing at Leon who was smirking at overhearing your conversation. “Ready when you are.”