Illegal Operations: Project K Chronicles, Resident Evil [23]

Resident Evil:The Project K Chronicles {Leon S.Kennedy} pt.23 Inflitration

*sighs* I'm so beaten down by the shittiness of this entire series that I don't even know how to feel about the typo in the title itself. On the one hand I want to rage about Gabby proofreading or finding a beta reader, on the other hand typos are so commonplace anymore it's just tiring to see them. *nibbles on a cracker*

Two men you don't ever want to run into at the same time, David and Karla are about to regret ever going in.

I regret ever starting this crap. If I had known it was going to get this bad I would have commissioned for a permanent co-sporker to ease my own suffering even a little bit - misery loves company and all that.

“Joyce, its Karla.”

“Karla!” Joyce shouted in a whisper. “Now’s not the best time, the bacon are around.”

Who's Joyce? Was she someone who cropped up before? I honestly can't keep track of all these assholes anymore.

“I know that, I’m right outside the side entrance. Well, a friend and I are.”

If Karla-Sue and Slimy-Git (a.k.a. David) are still outside how are they talking to Joyce? This is typically something you add into your narrative so as not to confuse people as to the setting and events happening around them.

Also, how is Karla-Sue not caught yet? Do they literally have only two people, Agent McFerret and Whats-His-Nuts, on the case?

"You are so full of it...We're both gonna get caught, or worse...Probably even spend our entire lives behind bars.

At least someone recognizes the risks even if the only time they'll possibly come into play is for MOAR DRAMA.

All because Jugs, has super human powers that she can't control..."


David muttered but you heard him and instantly you flipped him off as he rolled his eyes while taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.

And I'm supposed to believe Leon was stupid enough to send these two to work together knowing they'd act like this? Gabby, get out from behind the character-puppets. We all know you only did this to try and make some "funnies" and to consistently point out that your self-insert has huge knockers. You're not fooling anyone.

“Shut up!...not you Joyce.”

“I know I can hear him, so what’s up? Why are you here?”

“Look, right now I can’t really explain everything but it’s a Code Green.

Look, I'll be level with you here; the code thing isn't making you seem more legit. It's just getting annoying. I insist you knock that shit off immediately.

I need to get in there to get the necessary items for the trip, then we’re headed somewhere. How’s everyone else?”

I'm still baffled as to how everyone but McFerret and Whats-His-Nuts are the only two who are after Karla-Sue for being a wanted felon. Everyone else is literally all "Tee-hee! Let's harbor the felon! "

“I understand, and they’re okay. I mean we lost a lot of good people you know like Derek and Eric Noema.”

*snorts* Noema? Even I come up with better last names and I think I suck at picking out decent names.

You took a deep breath and you heard her sigh. “We know it wasn’t you Sarge,

How? How do they know this? No one's told them or shown proof to these people that her clone exists! They have proof of 'her' committing those crimes which land her as a suspect beyond reasonable doubt! They logically and realistically should not be so willing to believe it wasn't her under this basis!

but anyway I can sneak you two in…but it’ll be tricky. Right now their taking our people into a lie detector test, and you know myself, Tommy, and the others…especially me since I’m talking to you now.”

“Give me that.” he snatched the phone away while blowing smoke in your face which caused you to twitch in anger.

“Hey jerk face!”

.... .... Oh, god damnit, now I won't be able to say things like "bitch-face" or "douche-face" in good conscious.

"Joyce, listen to me carefully. Trust me I’ve been in a lie detector tests a lot of times, in the cell. Living there for two months taught me a lot, when I was there.

The cell? What, does he mean prison? Why would he be administered lie detector tests while in prison? And what pussy only serves two months and thinks they're a bad ass? Come back when you've been incarcerated for a couple 'a years.

When you're telling a lie your only focus is on what you hope people believe is the truth...I know a way how to get out of anything that involves technology. So listen...Pain. You need to keep your focus on pain. Your mind is chemically active when you're hurt. It gives strong signals to keep your mind off of the things around you. Do you have any small or sharp objects?...you're going to have to try to hurt yourself pretty good to keep your pulse from giving away your lie. Try not to scream, and try not to give yourself away.”

What kind of advice is that?! That's not how you trick a lie detector test! You make yourself believe your own lie to do it! If you believe your own lie you'll be confident it's truth and your body will react as such! Pain has nothing to do with it - pain can end up giving you away as it can increase your heart rate and make you look antsy if you don't have the proper discipline to keep focused!

“…Why have I heard of this before?” she finally said after a long pause.

You managed to snatch back your phone, “Because we saw Ocean’s together remember? Anyway it’s the best bet we have.”


“Don’t worry, I can handle pain.

Of course you can because if you couldn't, Barbie-doll, that'd mean you'd be inconveniencing the Sue.

I’ll tell the guys after I let you two in. just give me a moment I’m gonna have to ask Jason to re-wire the cameras.

Of course he would because, again, if any of these ass-hats were realistic none of these people would be so willing to believe Karla-Sue was innocent without solid proof.

Just hang on ok?”

“You got it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What happened to Claire, Leon?" Mark rushes into questioning.

I also have to wonder what possible reason other than MOAR DRAMA the author could have had behind making Mark pair up with Leon to save Claire. It's obvious the poor sod has feelings for her which will make him a liability as he'd make decisions on behalf of Claire instead of on behalf of the group as a whole.

“I guess when she and her boyfriend were at home, someone attacked them and tried to take Claire but he stopped them…

When did Claire ever get a boyfriend in this? You mean to tell me Marini and Claire hooked up at one point? You are all aware that this is a horrible, horrible mark against Gabby15cancer that the reading audience couldn't discern the different between the two flirting and when they actually got serious, right?

that and they beat her up pretty badly. I felt guilty when she just showed up like that, all covered in bruises and cuts.”

Leon looked over at noticed that Mark had his fists clenched; he then leaned his head back and took a deep breath. "I heard they took your daughter as well...Milla? And your team members Sheva, Kaplan, who else?"

“Jill, Carlos, Rebecca, BillyBenny and Eric.”

It entertains me greatly that all these assholes got captured, many in roughly the same timeframe of about ten to fifteen minutes. It just goes to show how completely incompetent all of them are.

"...So he's with Claire right?"

“Yeah, they met back at the St. Mercy hospital incident.” Mark seemed a little disappointed by the answer.

"It's okay...I'm just here to help. It doesn't matter who she’s with, as long as she's safe..."

“I know what you mean.” Leon answered.

“You do?”

Leon nodded.

Oh, God, spare me the heart-to-heart, cupcakes. It's unnecessary and only added for more *~DRAMA~* but it lacks the emotional weight it needs due to all the horrible writing skills Gabby possesses.

"So what's with you and Karla, you and her look like quite a pair...David told me about the two of you."


“We’re kind of in a rough patch right now; she was seeing Chris at the time so I’ve heard.”

Mark nodded slightly confused

What's there to be confused about. Leon and Karla-Sue are ass-hats who can't get along and she went to bone Chris. Makes sense to me.

but he didn’t push the matter further, "Yeah, well anyway...Leon, it's been over half an hour of waiting. My ass is getting numb sitting here, what's taking so long? It's taking forever to come in and get out. You think something's happened?"

Considering how much illegal helping of the felon Karla-Sue keeps receiving this is a ridiculous amount of time to have passed to get whatever little trinkets this moron needed.

“I hope to dear god they didn’t run into any of the government agents.

Still no mention of the police, I see. You know, those guys who would be actively keeping an eye out for her.

Let’s just wait a while longer, from what I know the weapons room is below in the basement.”

"Well I'm stepping out; if I don't stand up I'm losing it." Mark steps out to clear to his thoughts, while Leon knows he has Claire on his mind.

“If it means anything, I know Claire likes you still.”

Mark looked back at Leon while giving a small smile, “If she does, then I'm happy with that. But I don't want to be a problem for her boyfriend.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks a lot Joyce.”

“No problem,” the red head grinned. “Anything for my Sarge.”

You guys just don't even know how utterly sick I am of hearing this "You're our Sarge, you can do no wrong! We trust you implicitly! How best can we kiss your ass today, Sarge?" routine!

You smiled but instantly it turned into a frown, “Joyce, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to lie on my behalf; this is my battle I don’t want you to get in trouble or hurt.”

Which is exactly why you keep allowing everyone around you to illegally harbor you despite your wanted felon status.

Joyce looked at you before smiling and catching you off guard, and David too when she hugged you. “Sarge, when I joined the Armed Forces and your company I made a vow to stick by my comrades through the worst. You’ve helped me kick my drug problem and gave me a chance at life, I’m not about to abandon you in your time of need, especially when I know your completely innocent.” She let go. “I’m next, the weapons room is in the basement just be careful the Agents are roaming the halls. Sarge?”


“I’m…fine.” You sniffed and you were thankful that the cap hid your face. “Are the codes the same?”

“Affirmative.”

Of course they are! Because why not?!

“Then go.”

“Be careful. And take care of her,” Joyce pointed a finger at David. “If anything Delta will be on your ass.”

Why? We almost never see Karla-Sue with her platoon despite being a high-ranking Army official. She should be neck-deep with responsibilities just from that - training, overseeing her men and women under her rank, paperwork, PTing, the works! Yet she always has the time to run around acting like a raging bitch and having happy, sunshine times until Gabby decides MOAR DRAMA is needed!

“I wouldn’t want that.” David held up his arms in defense as she slightly glared while doing an about face and headed down opposite of you. “Are you crying?”

“Shut up, let’s go.”

A few moments of silence as you walked down the long narrow gray halls and you knew David would start up a ‘conversation’.

"Karla, I suppose me sneaking with you is a bundle of joy isn't it?"

This reads like they're having an affair. Which at this point really wouldn't shock me.

“Oh indeed, I just love being with you. It’s sooooo great.” You said sarcastically.

David rolled his eyes, "Pfft, I was thinking, if we were to get out sorry asses caught...I'm blaming it all on you. You're not the first person I thought I’d end up with in this hell."

“Believe me, I would rather have Mark here then you chuckles.”

Upon walking further and going down a flight of stairs you turned the corner only to shove David in an empty room and hiding the both of you from view.

This is ridiculous she took their entire traipse down who knows how many floors, avoiding security and the like to one sentence. One sentence! You can't do that!

“She hasn’t been found yet?” the man with the familiar British tone asked.

“No sir, she hasn’t been spotted since yesterday in Egypt.”

“Great.” The British man stressed. “That bitch has me running all over the place for her.” He growled.

You knew who it was, and your heart fell when you heard him calling you that. Donovan Matthews. So, he hates you now too.

As much as I still hate everyone in this stupid fic I do highly enjoy the fact that this little pissant is no longer on Karla-Sue's side.

“Should I report to McFerrin?”

“Do so.” As soon as you heard the other guy walk pass you two you let go of David’s mouth, completely unaware that you had covered it. You leaned over around and found Don leaned against the wall watching the ceiling threateningly.

You show that ceiling who's boss!

"Mmph...What the hell's wrong with you?" David whispers.

“Agent Donovan Matthews was the FBI agent who was assigned to practically babysit me while I was in the Government’s custody and who I used and beguiled to get the best amount of comfort as possible. He really believed in me, but I guess I was wrong about him.” You say sadly as David raises a brow.

"How many guys do you even have on your tail right now? 20?" David gets a look at Don. "He looks like a door knob. You like him back? Or do you want me to snap his neck, in stealth?"

And just like that my feelings of deep loathing for everything have returned tenfold.

“What is it with you and killing people? And no, it’s only five that like me including him but I don’t care because right now I’m focused on saving my friends.” You say in a quiet whisper as you watch Don pull out his mobile phone.

*brow furrows for a moment doing the math, quickly pulls out the handy, dandy flowchart* I only have four on here who lust after Karla-Sue! Who's the fifth asshole?!

"He's no where near as good looking as me. So what does he want from you? Besides using your powers?"

“He doesn’t know about my powers Mr. I think I know everything. It seems like he wants to capture me, the bitch.”

Gee, I wonder why, Miss I'm-the-Prime-Suspect-to-an-Arson-and-Murder.

"Dick...I'm the only one who suppose to make fun of your ass...Can I beat him to a pulp later?"

You chuckled, “Maybe. It depends if he gets in our way.”

I'm deeply concerned over the flippancy of the possibility of killing an officer of the law solely because they can. Yes right and wrong are shades of gray and you often have to do something 'bad' to pursue rightness but this is ridiculous. David, one of the protagonists we're supposed to view as being "good" is talking about killing this guy for shits and giggles.

Don finally leaves as you two walk down the hall he was just in, going down some more steps and you ended up in another hallway.

"Hmph, Karla I still don't take orders you know that right?"

You flip him off as David giggles,


when suddenly an arm snakes around your neck pulling you against something fit but hard at the same time. Looking up you see Demitri looking down at you, his right arm around your neck in a chokehold as his other, the one you injured, was in a cast.

“Demitri?!” you gasped out.

*unimpressed and tired* Why? Why is he here? Why is everyone here? Just why?

"Let her go. Unless you want a bullet placed in the center of you head, motherfucker."

“Language Mr. Conway, not in front of a lady.” Demitri lets you go with a rather rough shove as you stumble towards David.

“Put the gun David.” You warned him as he reluctantly did so.

How do you put a gun David? Proofreading, it's not that hard! Fuck, I do it for these sporks before I post them!

"...Lucky bastard...Karla, you know him? Because I don’t but I think he knows me."

“He’s Demitri Frost; he works with Mercury Corp. No one important.” Demitri’s face faltered as he glared from you to David.

"Demitri Frost?...Frost? As in Jack Frost? Frosty the snowman? Blizzard Frost?..." David snickered as you joined in on the joke.

You know this wouldn't be funny in reality so why would it be funny in fic-form?

"What do you want, before I blow your brains out?" David grounded out.

“First how about you shut up, this is between me and Karla.”

You know for a suave individual Demitri sure doesn't have very good grammar there.

“How did you get here?” you asked in disbelief.

“After I dropped you off I hitched a ride back before you got home, I invited myself here cuz I can.”

"Cuz" is a texting and internet term! You do not use it in your story unless in an e-mail or text message or something like those! If you have to use it it's 'cause!

“Get out before I-”

“Before you what?” Demitri cut you off curtly as he looked back at you. “Rat me out to the Government? And who are they gonna believe? A wanted fugitive or a Mercury researcher?”

“Hit man.” You added with disdain.

Because that's so important to this situation. Why would they know he's a hitman - they don't. So that addition doesn't prove anything. Likewise I've yet to see this asshole do anything remotely close to acting like a hitman.

“Whatever, fact is I can rat you two out to my good buddy Donovan.” Your face fell as David’s glare intensified. “That’s right princess, I know Agent Matthews I’ve known him for awhile now and believe me, I have you right where I want you to be.”

“That’s it,” David said as he pointed the gun back at him. “He’s a dead man.”

“David no.” you stopped him as he put the gun back to his side, then he suddenly smirked in realization. "Alright I see your game Frosty. I'd be lying to myself if I said I wouldn't shoot you down right now...So what do you want with 'Jugs'?"

You glared at David more heated than before, “They’re not that big! I’m only a size 36 D.”

“Double D.” David added.


“Asshole.”

“Why do I want her you ask? I want her because Mercury wants her not only that but she’s the one for me.” Demitri answered calmly without missing a beat.


“Oh god.” You rolled your eyes.

"...You like her too...You've got to be kidding me." David chuckled as he took out another cigarette. "Haven't you heard of the old saying, there's fish in the God damn ocean?...You're pathetic, Frosty." David lit up his cigarette.


“Shove off dick.” Demitri said through clenched teeth.

It really shows how none of these characters have their own individuality when Gabby15cancer resorts to the same foul language and insults time and again for every character. Not everyone will resort to using "dick" or "bastard" some people can think of far more "wordy" insults that are befitting their place in society. Since Demitri's higher up in society he'd be more the type to use flowery wording and have more of a mastery of the English language.

"Give it a rest...I've seen too many of you guys fighting over the same woman...So can I show you something?..." David inhales his cigarette and tossed it at Demitri. After blowing out the smoke from his mouth, he walks up to you.

"You're gonna love this..." David roughly grabs you by the collar.

Oh God.

“What are you doing?” you whisper at him annoyed as he smirked down at you, his hands still gripping your collar preventing you from running away.

Demitri watches David eyeing back at him with a heinous grin. You look up at David completely confused now as he mouths 'follow me'.

It really attests to Karla-Sue's lacking IQ when she can't even put two and two together.

You watch him and the next thing he does is completely surprising; his mouth is on yours in an instant as he sneakily slips his tongue in your mouth. But the second that kiss came it’s gone in an instant as he pulls away…leaving you completely confused and frozen more so than ever.


You heard Demitri growl in anger but you didn’t register it just yet.

"...Hmm..." David rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek. "...Hmph?...That’s weird..."

Suddenly you found your voice as you look at David, “Why do I taste ashes and smoke in my mouth?...Never mind you smoked before you did that.”

He may have smoked beforehand but that doesn't explain the ashy taste. What did he inhale the whole damn - cigarette ashes, filter and all?! Smokers don't eat the ashes, you moron!

“That’s it! Let’s go, right here right now asshole!” Demitri shouted as he walked up to David more anger than you had ever seen him before.

And once again this suave, supposedly smug hitman has been reduced to utter street trash and thuggery proving Gabby15cancer's lack in ability to properly characterize and individualize anyone.

David grinned, "I told you so..."

The next thing you knew Demitri punched David in the face which caused him to stumble and fall against the wall with blood dripping from his mouth. Demitri was going in for another punch when you stopped him with a hand alone.

*dryly* Oh, yes, you sure showed me. How could I have been so foolish not to take your word that Demitri is a hitman. Woe is me.

“Stop this Demitri.” You warned.

“Who the hell does this dick think he is?! Kissing you in front of me!” he growled as you shoved him away from David.

Once again I have to point out how this Demitri character acts nothing like a hitman. He loses his composure far too easily, he allows his targets to get away just because, he acts like a white-trash thug, the list goes on. And I'm supposed to take this guy seriously?

“He’s always like this.”

"I knew this was gonna be a bad day for me, Ow!!...You bastard! I told you this was a bad plan Karla."

“Shut up, you brought it upon yourself. Demitri, go ahead and snitch us out we’ll be gone before they come for us.” You smiled with your signature smartass smile.

That's a smile I want to punch the teeth out of. How arrogant can you get? Agent McFerret and Whats-His-Nuts are in the complex and its taken you this long to get remotely close to what you need. They'd find your ass long before you get what you came for and leave, you dumbass.

“This ain’t over toots. It ain’t over until you surrender yourself to me.”

*calmly places face in hands, rubbing her eyes before saying* Do I really need to say it anymore?

“Ooh I’m shaking in my white sneakers.”

Demitri glared at you one last time before realizing what a raging, hostile ho you were and giving up on his affections for you on the spot looking at David who had regained his composure and balance. “Next time I see you, it’ll be a fatal blow.”

“Can’t wait.” David said as Demitri took off down the hall you grabbed David and pulled him into the weapons room. You then handed him a clean cloth from your pocket as he wiped off the excess blood, after he did that you handed him a duffel bag as you began to fill it with weapons and other necessary items. “You mad at me now?”

“No, we need to hurry.”

“Where are we going?”

“Back to Egypt.” You answered with a sad smile thinking about Chris again made your stomach turn.


Ten minutes later found the two of you going up the stairs and down the hallway; Leon had called you and told you two to hurry up since more Agents had arrived. No doubt it was Demitri’s doing.

"Karla, I blame you for getting us in this damn trouble...should of told me that kiss was gonna get us more in trouble than we already are." David remarked as he rubbed his tentative jaw while spitting out excess blood and a tooth into the cloth. He did all of that while carrying the weight on his back.

What was he doing? Yanking at his tooth for ten minutes? If Demitri had knocked it loose it would have been a simple matter to yank it out or else it would have fallen out already. Trust me, I know.

“I didn’t tell you to kiss me and you mouthed follow me so you wanted me to kiss you back and for the record; women don’t like tasting smoke and ashes.” You answered rudely while turning a corner.

"I didn't expect you to go with it; especially with you letting me tongue kiss you...you know you really don't have any self control?"

No, she's just a slutty skank who'll let anyone tongue or molest her.

“Just one more remark and you’ll be taking a shortcut through the window jerk.”

"...Pfft, not mentioning you kissed Leon with those lips...Anyone else you want to tell me you kissed?

“Chris, Don Angello, Leon, my ex-boyfriend in high school. Hey I even kissed a hobo on the way here.”


"You're hilarious...Come on 'Jugs', better get out of here while we still can......Too late..."

“What?” you both stop and see Donovan Matthews turn back to look at you with wide eyes. “Agent Matthews.”

"Karla...I blame you...."

I blame her, too, mostly for all this drek her author she's fashioned after pulled straight out her ass.