Illegal Operations: Project K Chronicles, Resident Evil [25]

Resident Evil:The Project K Chronicles {Leon S.Kennedy} pt.25 Car Chase from Hell

This car chase would definitely be your last...

Prediction time! I predict from that memo that everyone crashes and dies - because that's what that insinuates and that would make me insanely happy.... Which also means it's not going to actually happen that way, huh?

“Karla!” you and the guys stopped as you turn and see Joyce running up with the bag full of weapons and the gadgets. “I managed to re-steal them back for you. But you guys have to go now.”

.... Of course she did! Why wouldn't she?! That'd just mean Karla-Sue and the others would be inconvenienced otherwise! *holds head in hands mumbling "I hate EVERYthing" repeatedly*

“Thanks, really.” You smile as Mark takes the bag from her.

I like to imagine that it's not weapons and "gadgets" in the bag put large amounts of weed.

“Thank me later, now go.”

"Are you gonna cry again? And you're from the military?" David teased.

“Shut up smartass.” You grumbled before you three run out through the staircases.

“We believe in you, Sergeant Major.” She whispered while saluting briefly.

Of course they do! Even though we've been given no reason as to why all these assholes do other than "Just 'cause! LOL." Also, way to salute her back, fuckass, now you're stuck saluting until she returns and salutes you back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leon had started to rev up the engine as he anxiously waited for you all to appear, just as he was about to shift into drive the doors slammed open and out you three came.

“Fall out! Fall out!” you screeched.

Am I supposed to know what "fall out" fucking means? Because it'd just be simpler to yell "Go! Go!" you know.

"Hey, hold your damn horses! I'm not superman, and I don't like being bossed around by a smartass either!” David shouted back.

“Be quiet dick hole!” you snapped at him.

"Kiss my ass!" David spoke back.

"Would you two, shut up?!

I concur. Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up in this. In fact, just cut out all their tongues! I'm tired of their shit.

We have something big to worry about right now. Arguing is not helping. Now shut up and get in the car!"

These assholes aren't even in the car yet, they're still in a danger zone and they're just standing and screaming at each other - how are these two fuckfaces not dead yet?

Mark bellowed as you and David nodded while glaring at each other.

“Yes sir commando.” You both replied as you then climbed inside the jeep just as Leon sped off towards…somewhere.


“Leon, where are we going?” you asked him.

You mean to tell me these people just committed several acts of crime - technical B&E into a paramilitary-base, harboring a felon, A FELON BEING THERE, stealing weaponry and technology, assaulting a government agent, etc. etc. - and they didn't have any place picked to hide at directly after?

"Where do you think, genius? We're definitely not going to have ourselves a cup of tea." David joked.

Maybe not, but if you will allow I will gladly hand out cups of Bleach to you all.

You then turned back and socked David in the shoulder before getting back in your seat.

“While you three were in there I called Amunet and asked her to deploy a chopper, it’s gonna be heading towards the west airport. From there we get rid of our cell phones.”

Please, please tell me that I do not need to go into just how utterly ridiculous that bullshit is.

"My cell phone?! Are you crazy?! I'm not getting rid of it." David took out his cell phone and that was when you snatched it from him and broke the flip phone over your knee and handed the pieces back to him with a triumphant smile. "...Nice..."


That was when you realized that you would be cut off from your parents, “But, Beth and Oscar-”

"Karla, we have no other choice. We can't risk anything at this moment. We've made it this far, there's no turning back now. We’re on our own at this point. Got it?" Mark said as you looked back at him with a sad expression.

I'm still baffled as to how these asshats managed to survive this long as is with their behavior and lack of proper planning, preparation and common sense.

“I know but-”

“They’ll understand.” Leon states as you then look at him as he kept his focus on driving.

Just like that your cell phone vibrated and you quickly fished it out and glanced at the caller ID. It was Oscar. “It’s Oscar.” You whisper.

"Well answer it!

You see what I mean about the lack of common sense? They were just planning to ditch the cell phones so as not to be easily tracked and she's about to answer her cell phone anyways.

Don't tell me who it is, unless you want me to talk to daddy dearest for you." David spoke sarcastically as you flicked him with your finger but only to yelp when he almost bit your finger.

"Done?” You scoffed and answered. “Now off to Egypt right?" David asked his brother as he took off his jacket.

"If you had a clue." Mark sat back.

“Karla please tell me you’re not running from something or someone.”

Who the hell is talking? Did she already answer the phone? That's something you have to include in the narration, fuckdamnit!

“Oscar, please understand. Our friends and Milla were taken; it’s her dad I know she had something to do with it.”

Due to the mass-murdering of any commas that may have been present in the last half of that statement it is no completely impossible to tell just who the hell she's referring to, speaking to or even speaking about from a grammatical standpoint.

“Leave it to me, you’re wanted! And now you’ll be wanted even more for eluding government officials…please think about this.” He pleaded which broke your heart.

Why is it that this asshole is the ONLY one who's saying what I've been bitching about for chapters on end and it still isn't being portrayed correctly and realistically?

“I’ve had, and I decided I’m not gonna sit around and wait for the Government to step in. Leon and I and other friends are gonna find them ourselves, I refuse to remain in the shadows any longer.”

*splutters, choking on her Cola* Since when have you been in the shadows at any point?! Even when you're not there your presence hangs over all the characters and drags them further into your own presence and dealings! We've done nothing but follow you around and EVERYone and their goddamn dog wants you! That does not constitute hiding in the shadows!

“Karla-”

“Dad, you’ve always been good to me, I’ve never let you down. Now please, let me fight my battles…but I assure you…” you trailed off as you look at Leon and then at Mark and David who were watching you. “I’m not alone in this.”

I just kind of imagine everyone doing this to her;

You heard Oscar sigh, “Please…please come back alive…I don’t want to have to bury another child.”

You smile as a large hand pats your shoulder, turning back you see David patting your shoulder.

I find it really sickening that she's GRINNING because she got her way even as Oscar is lamenting over his dead son as he relents.

“Alright daddy's little girl, let's get a move on. I'll buy you an ice cream cone when you’re done here." He remarks as you stick out your tongue.

“I can’t really make any promises…but I’ll try. I love you dad…and Bethany.”

“We love you too Karla, always.” You hung up and turned off the phone before Leon turns to you with a sad smile.

"Kennedy, don't look now but we about a dozen cop cars on our tales." Mark rolled down the window.

“What?” Leon asked as he turned to the rearview mirror. “Shit!”

How do you NOT notice that?! HOW!? HOW IS THAT A THING THAT CANNOT BE NOTICED?!

“Try to lose them.” you said.

“It won’t be easy.” He said swerving to make a sharp left turn.

"Want me to pop one of them in the head?” David took out is handgun.

“No, killer stay.” You said to him as a command.

"Dying at a young age is exactly how I want to end my life!" Mark said sarcastically.

“David said Mark was 40…” you muttered to yourself as Mark scoffed.

I don't see how that remark was relevant to anything at all. It's just needless filler space to keep Karla-Sue the focal point of the scene.

"Mark, stop jinxing! Come on, Leon floor it! Lose them!...Shit, can't you drift?!"

“Wanna take the wheel Conway?” He snaps back.

"Why not?!...I do this all the time...Karla, do me a favor."

“What dumbass?”

“Try not to stare at my ass." David joked.

“Oh right, like you have an ass.” You muttered.

Leon then began to unfasten his seat belt as David made his way to the front seat but only to end up on Leon’s lap.

‘I like that position.’ You smirked to yourself.

I DID NOT NEED THE MENTAL IMAGE OF LEON AND DAVID BUTT-FUCKING EACH OTHER IN MY HEAD! GODDAMNIT!

“Whatever you do, don’t get turned on. I don’t swing that way.” Leon said seriously.


"Agh...my leg, move it Kennedy!" David kept his hands on the wheel.

“Well let me get to the back first, jeez why didn’t you go on Karla’s side?” Leon asks as he made his way to the backseat.

“Because I would’ve shoved him out the window.” You replied simply.

I repeat; How have these fuckasses NOT been caught yet?! They're essentially just dicking around at this point!

"I think I pulled a muscle in my leg." David then grabbed his leg as he let the jeep swerve.


“Ah shit we’re gonna die!” you scream.

I can only hope.

"Watch the road, dammit!" Mark helped steady the wheel by leaning over and having his body right on top of you, so instead you and him ended up switching places.

Is this supposed to be the "car chase from hell?" Because all I'm seeing are a bunch of assholes and a scene that'd be more at home in a poor comedy film.

“I got it, get down and buckle up.” David said as he grabbed hold of the wheel once more.

“Drive faster dumbass!” you shouted as you heard a helicopter over head.

I don't think the author realizes that with the helicopter there it makes escape virtually impossible - see, those helicopters come with a nifty gadget that allows to sense heat signatures so even if they hide they'd be spotted. Not to mention pursuit would be possible with the helicopter being sent for Karla-Sue and her victims.

"Alright, alright! And quit calling me a dumbass!" David put pressure to the petal and passed through the busy street as he shifted into the gears.

“I’ll call you a dumbass whenever I want dumbass!”

“Be quiet you damn banshee!”

“Both of you shut the hell up! David focus on driving and losing the cops,” you snickered as Leon moved onto you. “Karla! Why are you laughing? Be quiet and make sure he knows where he’s going.”

“I don’t need a double d, smartass, airhead to tell me where to-Ow!”

“Karla! Keep your hands to yourself!”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, I just figured out where we are.”

“Where?”

“We’re on Rockfort.” Claire said almost too eagerly as Sheva was leaning on Kaplan’s shoulder.

Took her fucking long enough to figure out something like that! Just how long have these asshats been locked up here anyways? I don't even know the time frame anymore.

“How do you know where we are?” Chad asked finally awake as the recent gunshot wound had made him go unconscious.

“I recognize these dirty ass cells anywhere. And Chad?”

Yes, because it's just SO easy to tell apart one dirty cell from another. Did it ever occur to the author that since Umbrella owns Rockfort they might have used the same cell-scheme for their other bases, too?

“Yes?”

“Do you still think it was Karla’s doing?” She asked seriously.

“No…and I know I owe her a big apology when she rescues us.”

“Damn right you do.” Claire said as she rubbed her temples.

Why is it that none of these assholes can legitimately blame Karla-Sue for anything? This is so unrealistic it's not even fantastical! It's just sad!

Sheva then tenses up as they all hear heels clicking against the dirty cement floor; eagerly they all watch from behind the bars. Suddenly a flowing black dress appears as well as black heels, the figure looks from Sheva and Chad and then over to Claire.

“Glad to see your all doing well.” The woman said in a malicious tone as Sheva glared at her angrily.

“You’re really K19.” Sheva remarked.

She clapped her hands with a smirk still on the face she stole, “Bravo! Just like in Kijuju when you figured out that I was posing as Jill, you really are smart.”

No! I'm not getting over this impostering Jill and Wesker bullshit to suit her own ends! I'M NOT!

Her smirk turned into a pursed line. “But no matter, now that Karla Smith thinks that Mercury has you in which that is the truth, it’ll take awhile before she can figure that out though…aw, but she does have help…from Leon Kennedy and a Mark and David Conway.”

I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore. So many grammatical errors and from a grammatical standpoint this all becomes really illegible and hard to follow.

Claire’s bright blue eyes brightened

I just kind of imagine Claire with glowing night-light eyes now.

as she looked up at her, but Claire was smart. She wasn’t going to lead this evil clone of Karla’s on.

I really, seriously have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore.

“So, you’re the one that killed those innocent people.”

The green eyes slid over to her, “Smart aren’t you? I should’ve killed your brother in Africa…ah, but…” K’s smirk returned if there was one thing she loved; it was to antagonize her victims. “…He is dead now isn’t he Miss Redfield?”

Claire’s fists trembled in fury, as K looked back at her prisoners. “Enjoy your stay, for you will be here for a very long time.” Once more her eyes slid over to Claire. “Bring back memories of a certain someone Miss Redfield? Even though he is my subordinate now.” Claire looked up at her in shock. “Even… Sherry Birkin.”

“Bitch!” Claire screamed as she jumped to her feet and tried to grab K, but was too slow.


“Mmm, nice reaction. Don’t worry you’ll be seeing them both soon.” She promised as she turned to walk back out.

“It’ll be alright Claire, we’re going to get out.” a gruff voice said as Claire craned her neck to listen to the next response.

“Eric.”

“And once we do, you can go with Mark.”

Claire's faced drained of color as she took a deep breath, "How do you-"


"I overheard your conversation earlier." he responded truthfully. "I didn't mean to but I was awake."

"Eric, I'm so sorry..." Claire began to feel tears in her eyes as Sheva and Chad listened silently.

"Don't be, I'm not mad. For now, let's just focus on surviving this bitch's mad plan."

Claire smiled as she wiped the tears away, "Yeah."

"And Claire?"

"Yes Eric?"


"I know that Chris is still alive."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry there, I just kind of spaced out and had a good time ignoring the fuck out of everything present.

"Hey, Leon I didn’t know your car can drift." David joked as he turned to the next corner.

“Yeah well just take it easy, you know how much I had to replace the one in Raccoon?”

What one in Raccoon City? I don't even remember what vehicle he was in in Raccoon because IT WAS POINTLESS FILLER.

“Don’t care.” David replied.

"Its getting worse out here, this is like World War 8! Watch out for the damn pedestrians!" Mark yelled as you held onto car door handle for support.

"I know what I'm doing. How are you guys back there, not car sick are ya?"

“I’m gonna spew all over you dumbass!” you yelled.

“I’ve had better days.” Leon comments weakly.

"Road block?! Are you serious?!" David hit the breaks as your head hits the back of Mark’s seat.


"What the hell?! Are you trying to kill us all?! Back up, back up!" Mark yelled at David.

"Screw it, I'm going though!" David put the car in to drive.

“Think about what you’re doing to my car!” Leon growled.

“You dumbass! You’ll kill us all!” you shouted.

"There's no way-" Mark began but David cut him.

"Try me." David put pressure on the petal and drove through the roadblock.

Am I... supposed to be confused as high hell and not know what's really going on with this car chase?

“I think I got whiplash thanks to you!...dumbass!”

"Keep your panties on; we're still alive aren't we?"

"Stop, saying that!...God, I'm gonna be sick!" Mark groaned.

"Cry me a river--" David began but was cut off when bullets were being fired at the car.

Is... Is this really supposed to be entertaining?

“Are they really shooting at us now?” you asked to no one in particularly.

“Well, we are in a high speed pursuit sweetheart.” Leon remarked as you looked up at him with a raised brow.

"Heads down! Shit, how the hell are we gonna lose these bastards?!" David swore.

"We should fake our own deaths or something." Mark said with sarcasm.

“How positive of you to say that.” Leon replied just as sarcastic.

"Deaths?...Hey how long can you guys hold your breaths?" David asked as you got up and kneeled between the two brothers.


“Where exactly are you getting at idiot?! The air strip is just ten minutes away, there’s no need to crash us.” You said to him.

"Hey Leon, how much for the car?" David asked completely blowing off what you just said.

“Why?” Leon demanded.

"Why do you care how much it costs? You can always buy another."

“With what job shit for brains? You know the President will find out about this.” You pointed out.


"Shut up, I was just wondering...there's a bay not to far from here. If I dump the car with us in it, it'll take these assholes off our tail for a moment."

"No! And what are we gonna do hijack another person for a car?! Let's just drive to the airport and take care of things there." Mark said as he took out his pistol. "Damn it all, I'm shooting."

“Mark wait don’t! You shouldn’t get more involved.” You tried to reason but Mark smirked and shook his head.

“I already was involved, from the moment I was informed about Claire.”

‘He really loves her.’ You thought while losing your balance for a short time as David swerved almost hitting a cat.

You know, there's only been ONE instance in my life that I have ever legitimately thought "They really love each other." Want to know when it was? At my cousin's wedding a month or so ago. Want to know why I thought that? Because I hadn't met the guy before hand, I only knew what I heard about him and had never seen them together until they were at the altar. The way they acted with each other, looked at each other and shared their wedding kiss was enough to make me think that. THIS, just... THAT statement alone does not constitute a "He really loves her" thought!

"Aim at the tires..." David added casually.

"This is crazy!" Mark steadied himself to aim.

"And then there was one." David turned to an alley way crashing into garbage bins and trash cans.

“Gah! Watch it idiot! Or I’ll bite you again!”

"I never get enough of it." David smirks while taking his hands off the wheel and turning back towards you with his hands up.

“Look Karla! No hands!”

This guy is like a child on his bike. This is utterly ludicrous!

You screamed as he laughed while taking the control of the car before it crashed into the wall, “Bastard! Don’t do that! Oh, I hate you so much right now!”

“I love you too Karla.”

“I never said I loved you and to hell! I never will!”

"They just don't give up!" Mark shot at one of the tires at the cop car.

“They never do.” Leon commented while taking out one of the SUVs with a single bullet to the tires. (Mark and Leon are referring to both: the cops and you and David)


"Dead end?" David said raising a brow.

"WHAT?!" Mark looked up ahead "Now what?"

"Shut up, there's a corner." David turned to the left and drove up a ramp. "Karla, I'm running out of places, where now?"

“Turn right on Parker once you get off this ramp, from the there drive down and we’ll be at the Air strip in no time.”

I'm still baffled as to how they think they'll be able to jump into the helicopter waiting for them, avoid all the gunfire, the helicopters of the police and get away scott-free.

“You got it.” He smirked in response as he swerved making a sharp turn to the right and suddenly the helicopter could be heard once more. “Damn, it’s back.” He muttered.

“Wait a sec…that’s Amunet!” you shouted happily as you saw the woman’s head peak out for a mere moment.


“Who’s Amunet?” Mark asked.

“The commander of our Egypt division, Karla I have an idea.” Leon said as you turned your head to look back at him.

You smiled, “I’m listening.”

Wow, Gabby's work is just-- I cannot absorb this much stupid at once. She has me sitting here like:

Damn straight, I hate it when she turns awesome characters in desu's. It's annoying as shit.

Just like the Captain America fic! Just like Canned said; "This is Captain Fucking America. Not one of your Desu guys."

I'm tired of Desu's!

EVU- wrote:

Exactly! I like my men to be MANLY not desu! (Or in the case of Norman Jayden, adorable as high fuck and still a badass! )

Damn straight! Manly men shouldn't be reduced to Desu's!