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 Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】

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PostSubject: Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】   Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 27, 2012 9:38 pm

Hello everybody! Rin back with another addition of “Rinny’s Annoying Rants: Ranting Review/SPORK” for the story “~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC” that I have found on Quizilla. This addition will be a spork of chapter two of the story, I have already done chapter one; if you’d like to read that this click here. I also have typed in a “Consider the Following” in that spork as well (Just saying that so I don’t have to rewrite it on here. Thanks. Any who, let’s go back into the world of horrid VOCALOID fan-fiction, shall we?

Quote :

Title: ~VOCALOID~ Rinto X OC
Fandom: VOCALOID
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Kagamine Rinto X OC
Author: nekomimi90
Site: Quizilla

「☆」
Well, it seems this one is supposed to be more focused on a online chat that Amo (the OC), Miku, and Rinto is in. Talking about what exactly? Well, you’ll see…

Quote :

7:15 PM ~amoamo!~ logged on to voc@!-ch@t

$l33klubber3r$:hey amo! :3

~amoamo!~:yo sup miku.

$l33klubb3r$: nothin

~amoamo!~: lucky ,i cant find the right pjs to wear!>:0

Right pajamas to wear…? I simply just put on old P.E. shorts or my overused Nightmare before Christmas bottoms on (I don’t care about the shirt, I’ll just leave my current one or get something out of my drawer to wear). It’s that simple. Besides, it’s not like you have to impress your bed with what your wearing to sleep in…
I’m not the only one who doesn’t care, right? Right…?

Quote :

$l33klubb3r$: wear the lacey ones to seduce rinto! ;)

~amoamo!~: 0///////0 SHUT UP! (throws pjs in the trash)

Dear god, it’s like everybody is harassing Amo-Sue (GUMI and now Miku…). I wonder if the author purposely does this to make Amo-Sue look like a ‘normal girl’ or to add ‘humor’? I’ve seen authors make other characters into perverts for the sake of making their OC a better person or to point something out in their OC (Like they are attractive, innocent, normal, etc.) or just to make things humorous (Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t).
And sorry for taking things literally but… what was the reason for throwing her pjs in the trash? She was just complaining about wearing pjs but then throws them in the trash when somebody makes a comment about them (and by the way Miku said it… Amo-Sue has lacey and sexy pajamas? After all saying “wear /the/ lacey ones” makes me think she does… Which is unsettling for me.).

Quote :
$l33klubb3r$: aw, youre so cute when you deny love (pats back)

Of course, what else would you expect Miku? Amo-Sue is many shades of KAWAII-DESU KA~.

Quote :

!blondeorange! has logged on.

~amoamo!~: heeyyyy rintou…. 0-0

!blondeorange!: hey amo-kunnnn!!!!;3

I’m surprised Rinto hasn’t notice the remark Miku made earlier in the chat… Don’t most chatrooms have a log of what all of the people are saying? Most of the ones I log into (which aren’t many honestly) do.
I would imagine Rinto would easily see the remark Miku made about the lacey pajamas easily since their chat hasn’t lasted long. AAAAAnd again, I’m nitpicking (Sorry)…
Anyways, I don’t think Rinto should have used the “-kun” suffix for Amo-Sue, simply because “-kun” is a suffix is targeted more towards males (It can also be used for tomboyish females though as well. Thank you Fang for notifying that for me).

Rather than using the -kun suffix, Rinto could of used the -san or even -chan suffix seeing how Amo-Sue and Rinto are friends in this fic (And the fact that Amo-Sue isn't really that much of a female).


Quote :

$l33klubb3r$: hi rintou!

!blondeorange!: hey miku, whats up with amo-kun

… Amo-Sue is in the chat Rinto… What not ask her yourself instead of Miku (Besides, she’s going to se it anyways in the chat, might as well ask her). I wonder how, though, Rinto can sense something’s up… I mean the only thing Amo-Sue said is “Hey” along with “0-0”. I would perceive that as normal behavior, but that’s just my opinion.

Quote :
$l33klubb3r$: shes trying to find the perfect outfit to wear!

Now seeing the empathsis on perfect would make me suspicious (or worried) a little if I was Rinto…

Quote :
!blondeorange!: oh okay

I feel bad for the silly and naïve Rinto… All of this kind of makes me think Amo-Sue will sexually harass him soon or something like that…

Quote :

~amoamo!~: heres choice 1#2#

!blondeorange!: i like #2

$l33klubb3r$: yeah #2

~amoamo!~: thanks see you tomorrow

~amoamo!~ has logged off
$l33klubb3r$ has logged off
!blondeorange! has logged off

So…. All of that chat (with sight sexual tension) was just for Amo picking what to sleep in? How in the hell does that help with the story might I ask?

Quote :
~next day~(kool ripple effect)

…. No comments.

Quote :

“students please got to the bus ramp in nice orderly fashion!”sensei called out expecting them not to listen.
(everyone rushes out of the clasroom)
That doesn't really make any sense but whatever floats your TOTES KAWAII-DESU KA FANFICTION (Dear God, kill me for saying that...).
Also, WHAT IS THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?
Quote :
FF~!
(rinto looking for a spot on the bus)
"hey rinto!"amo waved at the blonde ,smiling
the boy quickly walked over to her ,blushing a little
"?,rinto whats wrong ?"
he didnt awnser ,he just kept looking at his feet ,in pure depression ,amo hugged the blonde to make him feel better .
"rinny-kun whats wrong ?" she asked sympethectically "its nothing,just nothing "
"OK! WELL HERE'S MY STOP!,BYE RINTOOOO!!!!"amo said drifiting away from the blonde.
I dislike this Amo-Sue... Because (this is just my opinion) Amo-Sue kind of acts like a bitch. Okay, so just imagine you see your friend really depressed and they brush your off after you ask them what's exactly wrong (and it's painfully obvious that they are still sad). Wouldn't you stay with them and cheer them up or tay with them to know that you care instead just going "OKAY. WELL, BYE THEN. HUR HUR."?
I don't know about you guys, but if I was in Amo-Sue's position then I'd stay with them to know that I do care, even if I do miss my stop (I can just stay at there house or call my somebody up and give them some lame excuse why I missed my stop, I suppose). Friends are my friends, I care for them and they care for me so seeing them all depressed, well, makes me depressed... Because I wish for them to be happy or at least okay.
Quote :
"nice job lover boi!"akaito said popping up behind him" oh,you got it badddd!!!!,right meito?"
"yes,sooo badd!" the brunnette added shaking his head."try better next time!" he said plopping back in his seat,with akaito following him.
dammit!,is it that obivous ?!i just hope amo didnt notice ,he thought to himself looking up and sloching in his booth
Yes, Rinto, is it painfully obvious, as I am sad (not really) to say. And I must say mister, shame on you for being under Amo-Sue's influence! You should know better mister!
But it seems Amo-Sue is not only selfish (Yes... I'm still a bit mad that she'd ditch her friend like that) but painfully dense. Hm... What a big surprise... How come making the heroine (if you can even sa Amo-Sue that...) painfully dense is becoming a trend. Either that, or I'm just noticing now...
Tohru, Haruka, Haruhi, and other heriones (and as well for OCs) are all so very dense...
I wonder how they can even survive life with their thick, clueless heads honestly.
Quote :

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
how was it?! i know i know ,give me a message what should happen in the next chapter! rate and comment!:3


I shall not, only because you'd get all ass-hurt about my collective-critcism, fetch your White Knights on me, and get Quizilla to turn against me.
And I think it was... pointless honestly. You could've used to to advance the plot (What plot?) better really...
But that's all my input on the matter. What about yours?
Thanks for reading guys~.
Rin out via MagicaRin powers!


Last edited by Rin Rin Signal on Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:43 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】   Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 27, 2012 10:02 pm

I love your style of sporking/reviewing, Rinny. You point out the things that are wrong and give reasons for why you think they are. They're very realistic reactions backed up by your own thought processes.

The only thing I saw a problem with was the "-kun" thing. While it's typically used for male friends and young boys it's also sometimes used (sometimes but not commonly) for tomboyish girls. Take for example Pandora Hearts. Alice, according to the translator notes on the site I read it on, speaks in a boyish manner in the Japanese language, is a glutton, likes to fight, has a temper and acts all around tomboyish more often than not. As a result Xerxes Break, the resident comedic relief (when he's not being serious), at times calls her "Alice-kun" for it. It's just like how with "-chan" it can be used for very young boys (often by females, case in point, the subs for InuYasha has Kagome calling Shippou, a young male fox-demon, "Shippou-chan").

But in this instance I'd have to agree and say Amo-Sue shouldn't have "-kun" tacked onto the end of her name. She hasn't acted very tomboyish to warrant it and thus "-san" or "-chan" would be more appropriate.



*crings* Oh, lord, how I still know all of that from my weaboo days and can still apply it. Despair


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PostSubject: Re: Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】   Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 27, 2012 10:58 pm

Not to shabby Rin~! You did great for your first spork~!
I'll add on to what Hatter was saying about your style, very professional pointing out why things are wrong!
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PostSubject: Re: Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】   Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】 Icon_minitimeTue Aug 28, 2012 1:35 am

EVU- wrote:
I love your style of sporking/reviewing, Rinny. You point out the things that are wrong and give reasons for why you think they are. They're very realistic reactions backed up by your own thought processes.

The only thing I saw a problem with was the "-kun" thing. While it's typically used for male friends and young boys it's also sometimes used (sometimes but not commonly) for tomboyish girls. Take for example Pandora Hearts. Alice, according to the translator notes on the site I read it on, speaks in a boyish manner in the Japanese language, is a glutton, likes to fight, has a temper and acts all around tomboyish more often than not. As a result Xerxes Break, the resident comedic relief (when he's not being serious), at times calls her "Alice-kun" for it. It's just like how with "-chan" it can be used for very young boys (often by females, case in point, the subs for InuYasha has Kagome calling Shippou, a young male fox-demon, "Shippou-chan").

But in this instance I'd have to agree and say Amo-Sue shouldn't have "-kun" tacked onto the end of her name. She hasn't acted very tomboyish to warrant it and thus "-san" or "-chan" would be more appropriate.



*crings* Oh, lord, how I still know all of that from my weaboo days and can still apply it. Despair

Really? Hm, I didn't know that it could used for girls as well.

I only remembered it for being for males when I read manga; I even popped out a old manga volume since they usually have notes about the suffixes. It said;

Quote :
-Kun

A suffix used at the end of boys' names to express endearment or familiarity. It is also sometimes used by men among friends, or when addressing someone younger or of a lower station.

That's why I thought it was males only. Haha, sorry for the mistake! Thank you for telling me! I'll add that on into the spork so people don't get the wrong idea!

Thanks for leaving feedback as well. :)

It's okay... *Pats back* Everybody was a weeaboo sometimes in there life...
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PostSubject: Re: Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】   Rinny's Annoying Rants 【SPORK; ~VOCALOID~ Rinto x OC Chapt. 2】 Icon_minitimeTue Aug 28, 2012 1:39 am

Wandering Leo wrote:
Not to shabby Rin~! You did great for your first spork~!
I'll add on to what Hatter was saying about your style, very professional pointing out why things are wrong!

Hehe, thanks! Gosh, you guys are making me blush a little.... How embarrassing.... :Cute Blush:

I'm glad you like it so much! Thanks for giving feedback by the way~.
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