Welp, it seems that Fang is going through a mental break down so I'll be taking over once again. Oki is here to save the day!...Not looking forward to this nonsense but I'm doing a favor, so I'll sit through it~.
Oh, and if I use a ton of Once-ler images in this; it's not my fault. His adorable commands me to do so.
Anyways! Let's get started, shall we?“Don’t make the mistake of calling me Karla again,” she said with an angry tone. “I’m K, Karla’s clone.”
You know, when you try to act like a bad ass, either from Karla or her 'clone' here, she really does not come off as threatening. What reason does anyone have to fear her? It's simply shown that she's supposed to be feared. She's this 'all powerful being' but we've got little to really fear her for. She tries to come off as a bad ass and the 'evil side of Karla' but Karla as herself already seems friggen evil simply through her attitude.
I myself can't really take it seriously. She's not threatening, not scary, and there's really no reason to fear her in the first place.
However, because Gabby is well, Gabby, she'll probably make several characters bend to the 'clones' will simply because she can.Krauser scoffed, “A clone?” he didn’t buy it.
Normally I'd say no one would. However, given that Krauser worked with Umbrella, he should expect that this is entirely possible.
If he had inside information on what Umbrella does in the first place, which I'm sure he did, he would know that they were the type to do anything and everything to gain more. Clone's would not be too far out of left field for them.
This is Gabby's attempt to make herself seem knowledgeable and hold this above the canon characters head. However, if you actually have some common sense, none of the tension and mystery Gabby is trying to put forth works. “Well, Senorita has auburn hair and green eyes, and she’s a little tanner,” Luis began before inspecting K once more. “This lady has black hair, red eyes, and pale skin.”
You know, I love how red eyes is typically the theme of an 'evil' character. Why is that? Red is an evil color? When did that become to official stereotype?
My guess is that it's all the anime or manga Gabby tends to attempt to rip off in this series. Typically, people pick up on the stereotypes in different series and attempt to smash it into their fics because they think it's cool but in reality, it's just a cluster fuck of clichés.
How do I know this?
I used to do it too.
The difference is, I learned from my mistakes. Gabby clearly has not.“Thanks for pointin’ out the obvious,” Irving began with a short laugh. “Now, when do we get to have some fun?”
“That’s Ricardo Irving,” Zachary whispered in Claire’s ear once more. “He’s the guy your brother, Sheva, and I were pursuing in Africa.”
“Yeah, I remember Chris telling me.” She whispered back softly.
“Sherry…” William began about to take a step towards his full grown daughter when she looked away from him in disgust.
“You’re still dead to me, dad.” Sherry said in a vicious tone.
I don't understand Sherry's hostility to her father here. Sherry loves both her parents. She attempted to deny it but ended up bawling her eyes out in the end. She has no reason to other than her parents were neglectful to her through her childhood years.
But she still loved her mother and father, even if she attempted to say that she didn't. Seeing them again, I believe she would be overjoyed, not angry.
Gabby once again, is trying to up the drama but completely dismisses the actual fact that these characters would not hate each other.“Harsh…” Steve let out with a smile.
“Wait a second,” Claire pointed to a couple in the back who hadn’t talked once. “Who are they? He…looks like my brother when he was a bit younger…and she looks like Jill.”
Ummm...I'm confused...
I don't know if I missed something from lack of following this story but I'm just really confused. Gabby's adding another turn and I am not following it at all.Zachary was about to say he didn’t know either when K beat him to it, “That’s Aleksandr and Kseniya Dobrolubsky. They’re Milla’s birth parents.”
Claire let out a gasp as Svetlana looked back at the two with a sly smirk, “I thought I killed you two…oh vell.”
K rolled her eyes before beginning to walk off into another direction, “Alright, let’s get down to business now.”
Zachary stopped Claire before she could go follow after them his hand had clutched her shoulder, “In the end, whose side are we on?”
Claire thought about it for a moment before turning back to him with a sad smile, “Right now, we’re on the side that’s probably gonna win this fight.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris slowly looked up and saw Demitri, well, Joseph standing in the doorway to his office. Just seeing him again made your shoulder wound hurt like a bitch, him and his sadistic smirk was very unpleasing to say the least. He walked all the way in and shut the door behind him, “Chris nice to see you again, the other time was at the diner am I correct?”
The fear crept back up not only for you but for Chris as well, because the look in Demitri’s eyes said that all his hate was directed at Chris only. Or perhaps probably the other ex-STARS too. “Joseph…is that…really you?”
You know, even if Demitri is someone to be feared, I don't think Chris would allow that to be shown. He's a rather calm even under situations most would find fear in. Demitri to me really doesn't show anything to be fearful off. It's just this typical 'I will over power you' kind of mentality but what has he done to strike fear into the reader?
He's a contrived form of a villain and anyone with a brain should know that.“Well duh, Demitri is just my persona. Right Karla?” he took a step forward as his eyes slid over to yours in a menacing way but sooner than expected he went back to looking at Chris. “The only thing that’s changed about me is that I went from blonde to black and my eyes are green instead of blue…contacts by the way.” he said with a grin.
I'm so fucking confused.
Apparently, Demitri is Joseph or some jazz and he somehow 'changed his identity' via color contacts and hair dye.
But Gabby proclaimed that this was multiple personality disorder, only it's not and it's just a change in appearance, nothing is wrong with him mentally....
Fuck if I know anymore! Gabby sucks at even explaining things, I didn't even catch this! I read right over it thinking two people were side by side, talking with each other...
Just, what even is this?You didn’t say anything; instead Chris took a step forward towards Joseph in a threatening way. “Joseph, what’s happened to you?” he asked skeptical and confused with the whole situation.
I will thoroughly admit I didn't know who the hell Joseph was until Fang explained it to me. Turns out, he was a very, very minor character who was killed in an attack via several Cerberus. Thus, this man would not be alive.
I don't know how Gabby expected to pull this off, even with the 'bringing back the dead' thing. Some people don't even know who Joseph is, so people like them, would be at a loss unless they looked the information up and if they figured out he was a canon character.
Point being, the man was killed in the very first scene of RE and didn't last but probably a minute in the entire series.
How the hell does she expect this works? At this point, I think her only excuse would be 'Just because.'Joseph’s grin faltered and his eyes grew dark, “Joseph? The Joseph you knew died in the Arklay Mountains those years ago. You see, being attacked by zombie dogs messes with your mental state. Too freakin’ bad none of you went back to help me huh? I bet you all feel bad.” He growled out and suddenly taking out a gun and pointing it at Chris. You tensed, “Especially Jill, she just sat there and watched them attack me.”
And Gabby fails to up any form of drama once again. The man would be dead. But because it's Gabby, she has to bring this character back that some don't even remember, and make him a bad guy just because. There's no real reason other than she wants another enemy for Karla-Sue and the others to face.
It's a sad and pathetic attempt, as usual.Chris was becoming frustrated, “She didn’t know what to do!”
“She could’ve shot them all!” he shouted at him. “She could’ve shot them all down! She could’ve done a lot! Fuck her! And fuck you all too! Because when I kill you and Karla, I’ll hunt Jill down and push her into a pin of Cerberuses so I can watch them attack her! Then I’ll go after Barry and the rookie and kill them too and eventually Wesker!”
I am convinced Gabby doesn't understand what a rational reaction is.
When the Cerberus attacked, the natural response is to run, especially because the team did not know what they were dealing with. They lost one but saved their own lives and learned things that would later on help others.
Rationally, they did nothing wrong. They simply reacted to the fight or flight response. “The hell you will, Wonder Dick!” he turned but it was too late as you threw him against the wall and grabbed Chris by the wrist. “Hurry!” you both ran out and turned the corner unsure of where you two would go; all you knew though was that you needed to get out of there.
“Running away again Chris?! Leaving your old pal Frost behind?! That’s so like you!” Joseph’s voice was heard from behind you.
“Karla, let me deal with him.” Chris insisted as you shook your head.
“No Chris, his mental state is dangerous if he wants to kill you he’s gonna kill you. Demitri was just his persona now that he’s Joseph again…he’s dangerous.”
...Gabby has no idea what the difference between a multiple personality disorder and a 'persona' is.
Let me explain these two things clearly.
People who suffer from multiple personality disorder normally are not aware of it. But she's made Joseph completely aware of it, writing it off as another 'persona'.
A persona is by definition -
1. The aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others.
2. A role or character adopted by an author or an actor.
So, what Gabby has done here is tried to label Joseph as having a multiple personality disorder without even realizing that labeling him as a 'persona' as well, directly contradicts the 'mental disorder' statement.
In other words; she's trying to be smart again but she ruined it by not actually doing the research she needed to.“I’m the reason why he’s like this; just…just leave me here so I can take care of him myself.”
“Chris.”
“What?”
“Shut up.” You said as you both continued on running.
“Chris! Running away won’t change the fact that you left me for dead!”
“Shut up Demitri! Or Joseph! Or whoever the hell you are!” you shouted back as you came upon a closed shutter, Chris cussed aloud while beginning to find away around the mechanical lock.
“I’m coming after you too toots, just you wait!” He shouted back and after that he cackled like a mad dog.
“Freak.” You and Chris muttered simultaneously.
You smiled before he hit the shutter causing it to shake, “It won’t open.”
“It’s ok, I have my powers and it’s not like he stands a chance anyways.”
I love how these powers only show up when it's convenient to Karla and whoever she's aiding. They all but disappear for such a long time than suddenly! Oh yea! I still have those super amazing awesome powers!
Gabby sucks at being consistent for her own plot and her own self insert. You wanted to make Chris feel at least somewhat better, but by the look on his face you could tell that this was affecting him greatly. “Chris, maybe it’s my fault that your like this now…I shouldn’t have told you about Joseph.” Guilt washed over you as you saw him lean his head against his arm on the wall, the sounds of footsteps edging closer. Joseph probably ran into some guards on the way. “Look at me.”
“I know what happened to Claire,” he suddenly said. “I know K took her and is probably holding her against her will…or worse…she’s probably dead…and it’s my fault.”
“No, no its not. It’s mine, everything that happened all back from Zachary’s death is my fault. Chris,” you leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m gonna get Claire back, and then…I’m gonna take out Mercury, even if I go down with them. I’m gonna do it.” Gently you hugged him from the side, reassuring him that everything would be okay.
“Karla,” he lifted his head off to look down at you. “You’re not going down with them, I won’t let that happen. I promise.” He finished before kissing the top of your head.
That's another thing Gabby seems to like throwing in to be convenient. Purity-Sue traits. She can't allow anyone else to be blamed for their own mistakes. She has to make them feel oh so better by blaming herself and thus, healing the person she loves!
Because that's not contrived at all! Someone clears their throat and you both pull away to see Leon and the others, you give a nervous chuckle before walking towards Leon. “I’m glad you guys are fine.”
“We glad you are too…we managed to sneak pass Demitri who probably left to get back up.” Leon said before looking over at Chris. “Hey.”
Chris nodded once, “Hey.” For the first time his eyes scanned over and landed on Mark and David, he furrowed his brows before pointing to them. “And they are?”
Jill smiled as did the girls, you on the other hand glomped Jill in a milli-second before she could answer Chris’s question. “JILL!!! I missed you! Never leave me again!” you shouted before bursting into tears.
There's a reason why putting anime styled reactions in writing. It doesn't work. Karla, as we've seen, is supposed to be this 'bad ass' but 'bursts into tears' and acts like a little girl with a new toy a split second later.
It's evident to most readers that Gabby is into anime by using the word 'glomped' and expects it to be a form of amusement for her readers. However, for the ones with brains, it's like a repeated punch in the face. “Are you being serious right now?!” she shouted before awkwardly hugging you back.
“See Sheva?!” Chris gestured at the scene before him. “Everyone but me.” Sheva rolled her eyes with a smile.
“Karla I didn’t leave you, I was taken remember?” Jill said before trying to tear you off her waist.
“I know, but your one of my best friends! Besides you two.” You directed the last at Sheva and Rebecca.
“We know.” They chimed in unison.
“Karla, off before Demitri catches all of us again!” Jill said before trying to pull you off. “Help would be nice!”
“Karla, off before Demitri catches all of us again!” Jill said before trying to pull you off. “Help would be nice!”
I feel the need to repeat myself! 8D
I feel the need to repeat myself! 8D "Yes Karla. I'll try my best." David said proudly.
“Get away dumbass.”
"Just let him have his way once Karla." Mark sighed.
“Ok Mark whatever you say!” you instantly released Jill.
“SO,” Chris emphasized while continuing to point at Mark and David. “Who the hell are they?”
“As I was gonna say,” Jill said while glaring at you as you smiled innocently. “That’s Mark Conway and his younger brother David.” Jill gestured to each while saying their names.
Chris nodded. He was sure he had heard of Mark before but he couldn’t place his finger on it exactly so instead he held out his hand to Mark, “I’m Chris Redfield.”
Mark gulped and Chris wondered why, "...Uh...uh...it's a pleasure..."
"'It's a pleasure'." David mocked. "Get over yourself. He's not going to eat you."
"I realize that!"
Chris looked in between them and shrugged before holding out his hand towards David, “Hey.”
David eyed his hand for a moment before Mark had to nudge him, "...back at ya."
In the hands of a good writer, this would actually show how these characters are feeling emotionally and are attempting to get to know each other shortly despite their situation.
In the hands of a bad writer such as Gabby, you get this; boring and pointless dialogue ~. You then walked back towards Chris as he slung an arm around your shoulders; at first you felt nervous because you could feel jealously hanging thick in the hallway you all were at and it was all coming from two men…Leon and David to be exact. You sighed in exhaustion when you realized that Chris was breathing rather hard.
'All men must love me! What a curse I've been given! Why can't I simply have the one I love?! Why must all men be attracted to me!?'
That's exactly what I got from the above statement.“Chris! Are you okay?” you asked with concern for him.
He looked up at you and smiled, “No worries I’ll be fine.”
"Well...doesn't this make you want to throw up?" David whispered.
"If you don't shut up and be a man about it, I swear I will hurt you." Mark whispered back.
"Like it's my fault I have to watch Smith over another guy."
"No. But you did say you wanted to help her boyfriend remember?"
"...Oh crap you remember that?...Oh yeah that was when I didn't fall for Karla as much as I do now."
"So now you want to admit that?!" Mark tried keeping his voice low.
"Mmm...yeah. I can't make up my mind ever."
“Shut up David.” Leon said.
"Do you mind? I'm having a conversation about something. God you're always breathing down my neck."
“I’m not. You’re the one making it a big deal.”
"Sei un perdente, stronzo.”
“What was that?” he became serious.
"Did you not here me the first time?"
"Leon let it go. David's the way he is."
"What are you talking about? My blood pressure's fine.”
“Ok, let’s go before Demitri comes back with back up.” Rebecca urged before all of you nodded in agreement.
"I can handle Demitri." David assured himself.
“Can you?” Leon asked with a raised brow, provoking David just became amusing for him.
"I don't think I asked for your stupid opinion, dickwad."
“It wasn’t an opinion it was a question.”
Does any of this actually have to do with the plot? Because what I'm seeing is a lot of 'blah, blah, blah - let's bitch to bitch.'Jill along with you and the others were beginning to become annoyed with their squabble, she sighed angrily as her hand twitched on the gun. Killing them would be easy…but then again you all needed the man power.
"...Karla nice ass."
“Excuse you?” you asked with a hand on your hip.
"Hey you owe me...I told you I was going to help you find Chris, and this is the thanks I get?...No thank you?...or a hug?”
“Don’t answer him Karla.”
"Stay out of this Kennedy...Karla, c'mon really. No love?"
An exaggerated sigh before you rolled your eyes, “Thank you for your support David, I love you for it.”
"In your face Kennedy."
“Go to hell.” Leon growled before starting off down the hallway with the rest of you following him.
"I know I'm your best friend Leon, you don't have to make it anymore clearer."
“David, you and I will NEVER be friends.”
“Shut up already both of you!” Jill shouted before shoving both of them aside and taking the lead.
You smiled while walking with Chris, “I missed my Valentine.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday-10:22 am“They got away…and where was Rachel in all of this?” Craig questioned as Donovan tensed, Joseph on the other hand merely yawned.
“Rachel, with all my condolences, died on our last mission in Saudi Arabia…torn apart by Hunters.” He added in with a whisper.
Statements like this really make me wonder how much Gabby knows about the RE series. Hunter's as I'm sure it's been mentioned before in this spork, were discontinued after Raccoon City due to being rather uncontrollable.
But Gabby seems very content on continually adding them to her fic for some reason. Her knowledge really isn't showing through.“An accident.” Craig stated obviously knowing of Joseph’s mental state.
“Quite, she fell back on the rail.” He replied with a smile.
“Oh give me a break.” Craig rolled his brown eyes and huffed before turning to face the two men. “Demitri just say that you killed her.”
“I killed her.” He shrugged his smile never faltering.
“I know that,”
If he already knew, why make him admit it in the first place? Why hold this conversation at all? There's really no reason for it. The plot, when it's not a jumbled mess, is predictable in the first place.
Bad guys want to take over, good guys will eventually win and Karla-Sue will most like go down as the 'hero' by sacrificing herself. That is, if this entire series was finished in the first place.
Regardless, these pointless conversations are really getting tiring.Craig snapped as Donovan shifted uncomfortably. “I just wanted to hear it from you personally.”
“I told you Craig, if I have to work with her then she’s gonna die.” Joseph then stretched.
“Um, sir we will get her back and we’ll be sure to kill her comrades as well.” Donovan said as Craig turned to meet his eyes.
“I know you will,” Craig answered. “Because if you don’t I’ll kill you…and Demitri too.”
“Blah, you and your empty threats.” Donovan glared at his comrade as Joseph looked unfazed by his look.
Craig looked back over at Joseph, “I’ll ignore that…for now.” He then turned around and left the room while slamming the door shut behind him.
“He is such a dick.” Joseph blew it out with an annoyed huff.
“Demitri, if I were you I wouldn’t get on his bad side. Are you asking for a death wish?” Donovan demanded and when Joseph didn’t answer he grabbed him by the collar of his open light blue button up shirt. “Are you listening to me?!”
For those of you who don't understand, it seems that Joseph and Demitri are speaking to each other in Joseph's head. But I have no idea. Because Gabby doesn't seem to understand any form of distinctive dialogue change.
Italics exist for a reason. And this would be one of them. The dialogue is so hard to follow, you don't know who the hell is talking to who or when. You don't know if this person is in his head or not. This is just so poorly done, it leaves the reader nothing but confused. And yea, that's where I am right now.
Confused as hell.Suddenly Don felt a sharp pain in his abdomen his grip on Demitri loosened as he fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath. Demitri bent down to his level while resting on his toes. “Maybe I am, what’s it to you anyway? Why don’t you stop trying to be the perfect soldier and start acting like a real man? Touch me again like that friend, and I’ll be sure to pierce your aorta next.” He then stood up and walked out of the room leaving Donovan to hold his injured side, when he tore his hand away from his side he had to wipe the contents onto his pant leg.
Good thing his jeans were black.
I really have no idea what the hell is going on anymore. I don't know, I don't know how this got so popular but whoever made it that way should be shot.
Anyways, I'm done here for the moment! Back to you Fang!