Illegal Operations: Project K Sporking/Review [22]

~Project K~ {Leon S. Kennedy} Pt.22 Damn the past

That's the same sentiment I share for this fanfic.

“They’re what?” Leon asked while sending a hail of bullets its way but for some reason it wouldn’t go down.

They're Sues, my dear. They latch onto canon characters and leech the life force out of them all while twisting the universe and personalities to fit their wills!

“Regenerators, Luis wrote about them…wait, they have parasites some where around their bodies but you’ll need a thermal scope.”

“Great, mind telling me where I can find that?” Leon asked while dodging out of its grip.

You snorted while aiming your pistol at a visible one on its back, “What do I look like? Hospital maintenance staff?”

If you were any part of a hospital staff I'd be terrified. You clearly cannot be professional to save your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hurry up Leon…it’s ever so freezing in here.”


“Hang on sweetheart.” He responded as he moved towards the back of the freezer room.

You saw the frozen bodies of the Regenerators hung one by one from the ceiling. ‘They better stay this way.’ You thought while walking to the room to change the key card type just as Leon had asked you to.

“Let’s go.”

“Yeah.” You said while grabbing the new key card and just as you two were about to exit, one of the frozen Regenerators fell from the ceiling and it began to stalk towards you.

“Leon!”

“Don’t worry sweetheart.” He said aiming his rifle, with the thermal scope attached, at the Regenerator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY DO WE CONSTANTLY SKIP THE INTERESTING SCENES?! WHY?!

“It smells worse than Zachary’s p.t. socks.”

I'm fairly sure we've seen that joke before and I'm fairly sure it wasn't funny last time either.

You said covering your nose while passing by the dump area.

“I heard that; you better shut that mouth of yours up before I hit you so hard, Leon will feel it.”

“Ooooh yeah go ahead and try it.” You taunted

Wait, who's talking? I think we're missing several lines of dialogue from Leon. I've looked back and forth between this document and the source material and I still don't know who's talking! I think Karla's just having a grand old time listening to herself talk - or maybe it's the voices in her head but there's no responses from Leon that I've missed copying over from the chapter to spork....

before following Leon through the door and eventually into a room where Militia were. You had recently passed by Ashley’s cell and comforting her you told her to hang tight.

Why are you now suddenly so into comforting this girl? You've done nothing but abuse and threaten her up until a little after arriving at the island! What happened? Did someone call you out on your bullshit as you were writing this? Because there is literally NO transition between the suddenness that Karla goes through between hating Ashley and suddenly being sympathetic to her.

You managed to shoot one in the face before locking your leg around one of the others’ neck, and in doing so you twisted it into a neck breaking angle.

Is that even physically possible?

After doing that you continued into what looked like a laboratory room. As you two went in you noticed something in the monitor screen and in horror you let out a small gasp…well, more like a croak.

She must not have tongued Prince Leon enough for it seems Karla's suddenly turned back into a frog.

“What is it Karla?”

All you had to do was point up to the monitor as Leon looked up and he gulped. On the monitor was another Regenerator…but not any normal one, this one had spikes piercing from its body you watched as it disappeared from the screen.

“Where did it go?” Leon thought out loud but you shook your head.

“I dunno.”

There it was…that creepy breathing again but of course you two didn’t notice that it was standing in the doorway behind you now did you? Well it was.

Am I supposed to take that paragraph seriously? Oh God, I am aren't I?

“Leon.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s…right behind us…isn’t it?” Leon took a quick glance back and nodded.

This.... This is so monumentally fucking stupid it has no earthly bounds.

“Yeah.”

Both of its arms got a hold of you as you were distracted and instantly it brought you to its body and from there it let the spikes pierce your body.

“Karla!”

You fell to the floor as you struggled to regain your breath, and Leon on the other hand began to take out the Iron Maiden.

Did it really happen? For serious and for true?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pant.

‘Wesker! She’s showing remarkable progress!’

‘Winchester, you took it upon yourself to start this process without me. How kind of you.’ The man’s voice spoke with sarcasm as he entered the room donning a white lab coat, the usual black sunglasses, and his blonde hair slicked back to perfection.

‘Don’t start with me Wesker,’ the other man spat heatedly towards him while running a hand through his black hair. ‘I had to, she was starting to cry.’

‘She is a child Norman.’

Since when would Wesker ever care about whether or not the test subject is a child?

‘I’m aware of that.’

‘Apparently not, do you know what I had to do just to find her? I had to get my hands dirty with Ricardo

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the mental images! Don't want! Ahhhhhh! Make them go away!

…he should be swimming with the other subjects by now.’ The man smiled wickedly.

I get the feeling we will never get any answer as to why Wesker needed Karla and only Karla for this project. It hasn't been explained, it hasn't even been hinted at! Why is Karla so damn important?

Wesker then walked over to her and smoothed her hair back from her face as she stared up at him confused. ‘Don’t fear me my dear, when you’re old enough you’ll understand why.’

I think I just figured it out.... And I'm thoroughly and immensely creeped out by it.... I feel dirty and not in the fun way! I need an adult!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Karla…I have the storage key now…are you alright?” Leon spoke softly as he smoothed the hair out of your face.

Of course she's still alive. Let's not even mention the Sue-per healing anymore. Bah!

“Wesker…”

Leon furrowed his brow in confusion, “What about him?”

“He’s the one that planned it out…he had me injected with the T-plasma…he did this to me.” Your hazel eyes fell to your healing wounds on the palms of your hands.


Leon took a deep breath while silently cursing Wesker, “Come on sweetheart the faster we get Ashley the faster we can leave this dump.”

“Yeah, the faster I can strangle that prick with my bare hands.”

Fuck you. Just.... Just fuck you. Up until now you have expressed no hatred over what has happened to you, in fact you've lorded it over everyone's heads as it making you Better Than You. You've used your powers willy-nilly to get your way and you don't bemoan the fact that they make you less than a human. In fact, as stated previously you revel in them. So fuck you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh. It stinks.” Ashley said covering her mouth and nose with both of her hands.

“Sure does.” Leon agreed while looking down at the dump then slowly looking back at her with a mischievous smile.

“No way Leoooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!!!!” she fell down the dump passage way screaming Leon the entire drop down.

“Way.” You answered while your left forefinger was still in mid-air.

Leon sighed but he grabbed your hand and the both of you jumped down.

And once again she's stealing Leon's actions and phrases. Clearly we are in the presence of a genius here, people.

“You’re so mean to me Karla.” Ashley whined as you patted the top of her head.

That's because she's a condescending ass, Ashley, and the sooner you become a Sue Hunter the better off we'll all be.

“That’ll do, girl, that’ll do.”

“I’m not a dog!” she growled while shoving her hand away. “That was a nasty fall.”

Points for Ashley actually giving an in-character response to that.

“I knew you would be fine if you landed on your butt.” Leon commented while standing up and dusting himself off.

“Oh…you.” She growled as he extended a hand towards her she took it.

“What is this?” she asked aloud while touching something spiky.

“Let’s go.” He urged as he helped you up as well.

Once again, Karla just sits there and waits for Leon to pull her lazy ass up. Does no one see how shitty a character and fic this is?! Is it just me?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few killings here, and some more insults and headaches after, you arrived and found a truck waiting to be operated.

A Sergeant Major.... and she can't drive a truck?

“Leave it to me Leon!” Ashley volunteered happily and you shrugged, it’s not like you could drive trucks anyways.

Leon nodded and turned to you, “Ready partner?”

You grinned while slamming a mag into your pistol, “Locked and loaded.”

(I love this quote from the trailer in RE5 so I wanna use it! XD)

Great, now she's even admitting to stealing things from other media. Glorious.

With Ashley driving and you two holding your own, it was much easier. Especially since the Militia were stupid anyways. You took care of the ones above as Leon took out the ones that came from the back. Unfortunately you had come across a truck that thought it could crash into the truck and kill you all…as if that could happen. You grabbed the rifle from Leon and aimed it at the windshield while firing some shots…happily it erupted in flames.

Why? Just why are all fight scenes like this? All of them, assuming they're not skipped entirely, are so boring and vapid and serve no point of interest or entertainment. How do you managed to do that?!

And also: OF COURSE KARLA WOULD BE THE ONE TO TAKE OUT THE TRUCK. FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU. GO TO HELL AND DIE! IN THAT ORDER SO DON'T CORRECT ME!

“Nice.”

“Thank you.” You smiled as he continued to shoot down the remaining enemies.

The next stop was a lift and Leon quickly jumped out to operate the switch. As soon as it was pulled more came all the more the merrier.

“Let’s go.” Leon instructed as the two of you nodded.

“Hopefully we’ll leave this nightmare.”

Oh, so hopefully we'll be leaving this fanfic then, if that's the case!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Let’s do that again.” You mused as you dusted your self off from the accident as the truck had crashed into a wall.

“Let’s not sweetheart.”

You three then went through the door seeing the Merchant you wanted to pry questions from him but once again Leon pulled you through another door. He never let’s you have your way.

Can we have one chapter where Karla-Sue doesn't give us some whiny comment on something or other? Just one!

You entered a dark room and stopped immediately upon seeing Saddler at the foot of the steps.

How anti-climactic. It was more dramatic in the game than here. Here it's just like "Peek-a-boo! I see you!"

“I can feel them growing ever strongly inside of you.” Saddler said darkly.

“Saddler!” Leon shouted before running up to him.

“No Leon wait!” you shouted after him but he was stopped, not by your words but by Saddler’s hand raised palm straight out, stopping Leon as he doubled over writhing and screaming in pain.

“Perhaps you can resist but you cannot disobey.”

“Leon! Stop it Saddler!” you growled. He moved his hand to you but nothing happened as you crossed your arms proudly over your chest. “The T-plasma killed your stupid Las Plagas for me…that’s something I gotta be thankful for.”

..... ...... ...... ....... .......

PLEASE STANDBY FOR AN INTERMISSION AS FANG TAKES HER MEDICATIONS! I REPEAT; PLEASE STANDBY FOR AN INTERMISSION AS FANG TAKES HER MEDICATIONS. THANK YOU.
Okay, so um.... I'm sorry about that it's just.... I got so angry and everything was just kind of bottled up for a long time that.... Yeah.... *pops more pills* It can't get any worse right? *begins rocking* Hehehe... hehe.... right....?

“So it seems Miss Smith.” He moved his hand from you to Ashley as she gasped and her head fell forward. When she raised it again her eyes were glowing a brilliant red.

“No, Ashley! Don’t follow him!” you tried to stop her but a high ringing in your ears stopped you from stopping her. In pain you clutch your ears hoping to drown out the noise but with no such luck it continues to ring ever so loudly.

Ashley is walking over to Saddler now as Leon too tries to get her back, “Ashley!” Leon pulls something small and beeping from his side pocket and throws it on her, landing it successfully on her back. A tracker.

As soon as they exit Leon regains his strength as he slowly stands up, “It’s already begun.”

Leon then kneels down beside you as you had grabbed your Swiss Army knife from your front pocket.

“Karla…what are you doing?”

“I’m tired of this.”

“Karla! No! I…need…oh.”

You removed a small chip from inside your arm…yup; you had cut yourself and removed the annoying device that has been giving you hell.


What in the hell was that?! What's this device?! We've never heard of it up until now! You can't do that! Who put it there and why? What purpose does it serve? What did it ever do over the course of the fic until now?! *flounders helplessly* WHOOOORE!

You turned to look at Leon while raising a brow at him in disbelief. “You though I was gonna kill myself? With a knife? Come on Leon, I’ll just heal from the wound.” You say rolling your eyes as he shrugged sheepishly.

“What is that anyway?”

“Look at the symbol.”

“Umbrella.”

*still floundering helplessly for words**fails after several minutes* WHOOOORE! .... Ju-Just WHOOOOORE!

You sighed, “Let’s get Ashley back…again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was dangerously flipping a knife in the air as Ada was eyeing it with amusement. “So, what’s the news on our friend Leon?”

Oh goody, a POV shift that we don't need. Especially since she's never bothered to make sure her audience is clued into what's happening game-wise before, so I don't see why she thinks she should add this scene now.

“He’s not making it easy especially since Karla’s with him…the sample?”

What does Karla have to do with anything?!

The man had stopped flipping the knife and was now inspecting it, “Saddlers’ got it, and it seems he’s sniffed out our little game.”

“Perfect.” Ada turned to walk away but was stopped by his words.

“Just so we understand each other clearly, I don’t trust you nor does Wesker if you try to do anything clever I will kill you.”

Ada was a kind of woman who didn’t take a threat seriously…especially from an obnoxious man with too much self-pride. “Is that so? You know, I’ve met Wesker long before you.”

“We’ll see soon enough if you did.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”