Xenomorph Sporking: "Dead Easy (Your Zombie Survival Guide) Step 1"

I'm back, and or course those pesky Space Marines are gonna be hot on my tail. The Queen told me there's another Sue in the Left 4 Dead 2 universe, and I was recently bumped down to Drone rank during the Avengers Spork. I was a Praetorian and all, so watch me rage to earn my Rank back.

~


Summary:
Following a survival guide wasn't exactly what you had imagined yourself to be doing in a zombie apocalypse.

But then again, you hadn't expected to fall for a naive mechanic and a cynical conman.

{EllisxYouxNick}

Author's Notes:
I decided to try and give a go at a Left 4 Dead 2 fanfiction in celebration for 'The Passing.' So please enjoy and perhaps leave a review (they make me update faster for any story)! To those of you who write the awesome L4D2 stories as well...update! Lol

Note: Don't own Left 4 Dead 2 or you, and some of these steps are from the book tilted Zombie Survival Guide (which I don't own either).


W-what is this? I don't even know! I'm not fond of love triangle's, I'm sure these are Android's of Nick and Ellis!


Step 1: Know the difference between a “voodoo” zombie and a "Solanum” zombie.

You immediately picked up a crowbar that lay untouched on the floor; steadying the grip on it you calmly walked out of your hotel room. Looks like your mini vacation was over and now you had to fight for your survival.

‘This crowbar brings back some good memories,’ you thought with amusement.


Just no, why, it's a freakin' crowbar. An she clearly stole this from a book that I've read before, seriously; don't copy stuff from a book if you can't even make idea's up by yourself!!

As you walked slowly down the dirty and bloody hall of the hotel you suddenly caught the smell of smoke as it passed you in a sudden rush of black thick smog. Coughing you hurried your pace and with a good swing you bashed the steel weapon into the head of one zombie.

The zombie that had once been female slumped to the floor with a groan; you then ran past it and ran smacked dab into something firm. The impact made you fall to the floor on your butt and you yelped before dodging the axe that embedded itself on the floor you had been sitting on.

What?! Ow-- that wasn't a zombie you hit, that was me!! You're lucky I wasn't paying attention.. Oh, getting attacked by whomever is holding that axe; are we? Karma's a bitch ain't it?


“Stop! I’m not a zombie!” you shouted.

“Prove it!” the male accented voice shouted back as you looked up at him.

“I’m talking aren’t I?!” you said with irritation and anger boiling up. “Since when do zombies talk?”

Oh please; 'male accented voice', please put the bitch down! You're killing me Sue, I'm actually going to make a swan-dive out the hotel window!!


“…That there is a good point ma’am,” the young male said.
He looked about a year younger than you with a cute boyish grin and a chiseled young face; he had little cuts on his forehead and face but it served to make his features stand out. He adjusted his cap before offering you a hand.

“I hope I didn’t hurt ya miss, I surely didn’t mean it.”

*soft hiss* Oh Ellis, you did mean it. Maybe this Android is smarter than it's counterparts-- maybe not. Yeah? No!

You gave a steady smile before taking his hand as his strength lifted you off the floor in one fine pull; you clutched your weapon tightly to your chest as he looked over his shoulder.

More zombies were coming towards you both and so he readied his axe as you readied your crowbar.

“Looks like these are definitely Solanum zombies,” you said as you swung and the crowbar smashed itself into the male zombie.

The southern man did a double take at you, “A what?”

This bitch is annoying and as dumb as a box of rocks! 'Solanum zombie'? STOLEN FROM A MOTHERFLIPPIN' BOOK!! *procceds to hiss and scratch at the wall*


'Did you hear that?'
'Don't relax just yet, Marines.'

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Chapter 2 (aka; Step 2) will be coming soon!