The Very Best! [Review of ☄ Sucked into a game ☄] by windgirl13 [07]

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Quote :: Mikki’s p.o.v. I decided to go to Professor Elm to let him know what I was up too, plus to get a pokedex. I had my Trainer card but you have to have a pokedex as well to be a Trainer.

You don't have to have a Pokedex to be a trainer at all. The only reason the Pokedex is given too some trainers is to get information on other Pokemon. In a sense, it's the professors way of saying 'fuck the work I have to do, you can do it!'

Or at least, that's how it's always been in my mind...

Quote :: I walked into Professor Elm’s lab without hesitation

“Hello Professor Elm.” I said brightly.

“Oh, good morning Mikki.” He said putting away Totodile’s poke ball. “I’ve got an errand for you.”

“Sure but,”

“I need you to go see Mr. Pokemon. He’s always making discoveries and he says this one is really important. He lives a little past Cherrygroove City. So go see what he’s got for me.” Professor Elm said before I could get another word out. Professor Elm was already reabsorbed into his research again. I sighed and shook my head.

“Sir, yes sir.” I said and walked out the door.

“Wait a minute Mikki!” some said from behind me.

“Yes?” I turned around to see it was one of the Lab assistants.

The Very Best! [Review of ☄ Sucked into a game ☄] by windgirl13 [07] 00046623

Believe it or not, this is already half way through the chapter. She has done nothing interesting nor stupid enough to actually comment on.

This is just boring. There is literally nothing holding my attention other then I'm reviewing this drivel. And it's kind of hard to review drivel that moves as slow as a snail most of the time!

See, it's quite easy to see what the writer is doing. She figures she'll go along with the entire plot of the game from beginning to end (while stealing several plot points from another persons fan fiction) and make this giant amazing nearly two hundred chapter story.

But it doesn’t work when you can't hold anyone's attention after chapter seven, God dammit!

Quote :: “That Professor, I’m sorry. He wanted to give you these but he forgot.” The lab assistant said sweat dropping a little. He handed me 5 normal poke balls. “See you later Mikki.” he said going back into the lab. I but them into the ball pocket of my bag.

I 'but them into the ball pocket of my bag'. Really, really, you did not catch that? That's a pretty easy one to catch! Just...just no! Stop writing! Forever!

Quote :: No sense in having them out if I don’t need ‘em yet. I thought to myself. I guess one errand wont hurt me before I start my journey. And with that last thought me and Bara went into the woods.

The Very Best! [Review of ☄ Sucked into a game ☄] by windgirl13 [07] 2n74l07jpg

Quote :: The light going through the trees was made much duller and I enjoyed it much more than the full blast of the morning sun. Bara was walking along side me, He looked like he was in his element. I saw a Rattata scurry into a hole in the bottom of a tree as we walked by. Pokemon world woods so beats the Real worlds woods.

You must not have been in many woods in the 'real world'. Most woods where I came from are far more interesting then one would think. You just have to choose to look rather then complain about it being 'just woods'

This is really showing that the writer really takes the real world for granted, only seeing interesting things that she wants to see, if there are any at all. It seems she really doesn't like this world and runs away into her head for a new one.

Quote :: Everything was just so green and alive.

And everything in the 'real world' isn't alive?....Okay, yea, I'm in a state where we're suffering with major and unusual drought.

Wanna fight about it?

Quote :: And when you breathed in the air, gave you this crisp feeling on the inside. Like it was always pure. I could see one of those transition places up ahead. I decided to go inside to see where I was at.

Whiplash scene change!

Quote :: “Good day Miss.” The clerk at the counter said politely.

“Good day, Where am I at?” I asked him. I don’t have a map card for my poke gear yet. So I don’t know where I’m really at.

“Well if you go out the other entrance you’d be at the foot of the mountains. This is Route 46.” The clerk said. I remembered when I played the game the area up ahead is where I always caught me a Spearow.

Aside from how boring this continues to be, I pick up on one thing in this entire conversation.

“I always caught me a Spearow.”

She's a pirate!

Quote :: And I know Bara at least knows Tackle. And I’ve got poke balls. Why not?

“Thanks Mister.” I said as I walked to the other entrance.

“Be careful out there. There’s a nasty flock of Spearows that live out there.” The clerk warned. Nasty eh? Good. I thought to myself as I went out the door. Just means I’ll have a good time training them.

Is it a bad thing to say that I just took that entire sentence as 'wrong'? Cause I did and I have no idea why...

… … … Wait a minute!

She's catching a Spearow!? No! She's taken another one of my ideas! I had a Fearow in mine! What is wrong with you?! You can't just take my plot line! You have to take the Pokemon I used in my story too?! Think up your own ideas!!!!

Quote :: “Bara, If I’m going to be a pokemon trainer that means I got to assemble a team.” I told Bara as we walked though the long grass. Bara was listening carefully. “And that means catching other pokemon. It’ll be like having more friends and Family at the same time.” I was hoping Bara wasn’t the jealous type. That’s why I was explain this to him.

“Chika Chikarii, Chika.” Bara said. He didn’t look to worried by my news. I didn’t know it was apart of his gentleman like nature or he honestly didn’t care that I got more pokemon. But I sure wasn’t going to argue with it.

The Very Best! [Review of ☄ Sucked into a game ☄] by windgirl13 [07] Original2-3

I am so tired of hearing you SPEAK! Everything, everything has to be explained even though that some of this stuff should be clear to any and all who see it!

And of course the Pokemon isn't going to care because you've created zero conflict between Mikki-Sue and Bara. So there's no room for actual argument or displeasure between the two. There's no need to mention any of this because the Pokemon is just going to go along with it anyways regardless of what Mikki-Sue says or doesn't say!

Quote :: “SPEAROOWWW!!!” And suddenly Me and Bara were being stared down by many angry looking Spearows.

Good! Peck her eyes out! Leave her blind! Avenge my fic that had actual depth and plot in it! Kill this Sue and the drivel that she creates! Please!

Oh my, you seem very angry at the of this one. Haha

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SpecOp Fang-O67 wrote:: Oh my, you seem very angry at the of this one. Haha

It's so boring! And all the stealing of every plot line available! This writer sucks! DX

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