Rage Quit: "My Special Valentine [Cilan]" Pokemon Spork/Review

...? What's this? .... ... WHY?! WHY IS THIS FOUR PAGES LONG UNSPORKED ALREADY?!

M y S p e c i a l V a l e n t i n e [ C i l a n ]

"Oh, [Name] ~!"

Reader-insert? I hate that type of formatting. It's the laziest second person point of view way of writing you can do! There's no reason to come up with a name or appearance when you can just force the audience to do it for you!

You blinked and turned your head towards the direction of a cheery voice. You saw your best friend Iris running up to you, a happy smile plastered on her face. You smiled back at her, pulling out your pack of gum and handing it to her. She thanked you and popped the piece into her mouth. She grinned at you and began to jump up and down a bit happily.

I hate this already. I hate it all. I flat out hate everything; no exceptions.

There's no variation on words, no pacing, no real description it's all just plastered together into one big huge paragraph and I am fighting so very, very hard not to just bash my head into this lovely wall to my left and end my misery because of it.

"So, did you get any Valentines yet? I know it's the beginning of the day, but so many people have gotten Valentines already! I even got some! They're mostly from friends, but I always get giggly when someone gives me one!" You laughed lightly at her, shaking your head gently.

Can I just assume Iris was the one babbling about nothing important? It's really hard to tell who's talking there. It says 'you' laughed at her though I don't see what's so funny either and there's no dialogue tag to say that Iris was indeed talking. For all I know some invisible nobody we have yet to be introduced to could have been the one talking and we'd never know!

"I'm sorry, I can't say I have. Not even from friends. Ah! Here, I made these for you last night!" You pulled a bag out of your locker and handed them to Iris. A smile brightened up her dark skin as she jumped up and down again, giggling like crazy as she tackled you into a bear hug.

.... What in the...? What the fuck...? Who the hell gave the a-okay for Iris to act like she's just drank five gallons of coffee, two packs of Red Bull, five Monsters and a Mountain Dew? Not even Bianca is this hyperactive!

"Oh, thank you so much, [Name]!! You're the best friend I've ever had, I swear!!" She got off of you and rummaged through her bag,

Seriously, what the fuck? Since when has Iris ever been this hyperactive and ditzy? She's a happy-go-lucky person at times, yes, but this is over doing it to the point of ridiculous extremes.

pulling out a white bag with red floral designs coming from the left-hand corner. "I bought this especially for you about a week ago; it was too adorable to pass up! I knew you like these sorts of things, anyways!" You blinked and took the bag from her slowly.
"But, Iris…I didn't ask for you to-"
"I didn't ask for you to get me this gift, but you did anyways!" She interrupted you with a bright smile and a good comeback. You opened your mouth to retort, but something else interrupted you.

By the by, no, I didn't fucking mess with the formatting of this oneshot. That excerpt above is exactly how this entire thing is spaced out. It makes it difficult as flying fuck to read.

"Well well well, seems as though we don't have to go searching the whole school for you guys for once!"

The... school? What the hell?! Yes, because school's been such a goddamn important factor in the land of Pokémon where ten-year-olds run rampant all over the land capturing powerful monstrosities to stuff into teeny-tiny little balls!

You frowned and turned around to see the three most popular boys in school standing there, also being your best friends, along with your other best friend, Ash.

That sentence is so mangled and badly structured it's painful to even look at much less try to comprehend.

He had a deep blush on his face, and you suspected that he felt embarrassed as to what is behind his back.


"Hey, Iris? Can I talk to you…Somewhere private?" Ash's voice seemed scared, but Iris didn't seem to notice as she smiled and nodded, skipping off around the corner with a nervous Ash following.

Remember the good ol' days with Misty being Ash's love interest? ... No?! God, I'm old....

You turned back to the other three only to see them being unable to reach their lockers due to a mob of girls handing gifts and such to them.

What the fuck...? I'm being trolled right now, aren't I? This is so not meant to be taken seriously! It can't be! This is utterly ridiculous! Who the fuck are all these assholes?!

You laughed and closed your locker, crossing your arms over your chest and leaned against the locker, watching in amusement. Once the crowd of girls left, you were still sending texts out to your friends across the states.

Since when does the Poké-World have the U.S. in it?! And what the hell does this stupid character sending texts to random people we don't know have anything to do with anything?!

You heard an exasperated sigh beside you. You smiled in amusement and glanced at the boys from the corner of your eye.
"This is what you get for being show-offs and handsome boys. You can't blame me for this." Chili frowned and snatched your phone from your hands, holding it above his head and sticking his tongue out at you. You gaped at him and began jumping for your phone, not that it really mattered, anyways. Your parents just wanted you to not lose the phone. Chili grinned mischievously at you. His eyes were gleaming with mischief.

Wait? She was talking about Chili, Cilan and Cress being the most popular boys? And they're show-offs? Since when are Cress and Cilan show-offs? Sure, Chili can be assumed as a bit of a show-off as he's got that hot-headed and feisty personality, Cilan and Cress are more level-headed however. This is just lumping the boys into one trait without really understanding their base characterization!

"You want it back?" He held it higher above his head, slightly exposing his six-pack.

Chili? With a six-pack? Color me incredulous.

"Of course I do, that's why I'm trying to get it back, obviously!" Chili laughed and held you back by your forehead with his hand.
"Sheesh, why do girls care so much about their phones? I only use mine to call my brothers for a ride, and even then they ignore my calls half the time!"

This dialogue is some of the most bland and dry I've seen in years. And this is coming from the chick who pretty much ended up sporking (and losing; sad face) much of Hananiwa's works while it was still on the net.

"Well excuse me for not wanting to be on my parents' naughty list and possibly grounding list! I need it back or else I'll be in big trouble!"

Who the fuck talks like this? I'll tell you who; no one! No one fucking talks like this!

You put your hand on his shoulder and pushed your way up for it, succeeding to grab it. Chili was about to grab it back before he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder.

All of this is pointless filler that has nothing to do with anything at all! This is wasting my time and everyone else's who bothers to even read this after glimpsing the horrid formatting of the oneshot! And let me tell you if you ever run into fanfics structured like this and don't bother running the other way because of it I will hunt you down.

"Cool it, afro boy.

Who the fuck has an afro now?

Don't pick on little [Name] because she's right and you're wrong." Cress gave Chili a cold glare, releasing him as he saw that Chili had tensed up a bit.

Of course some canon character would come to the poor little Unnamed Character A's side to help over something trivial and retarded. And no, I don't care if that isn't politically correct.

Cilan just laughed his warming laugh at the whole situation.

Laughed his laugh? Is that anything like coughing a cough? Or sneezing a sneeze? Or better yet, do tell me this, is it anything like grunting a grunt?

You felt your heartbeat quicken whenever you heard that voice. It just warmed your heart up to hear it. Smiling to yourself, you hadn't noticed the hot breath on your neck from behind.

Well, this suddenly just got rape-tastic!

"You're staring at him, again." The voice sounded devilish; usually belonging to the only girl you knew who would pick on you like that.

Am I supposed to just magically know who the fuck this girl is? Or do you plan on being merciful and letting me in on the secret anytime soon?

You jumped slightly and turned your head to look at her, only to be met with a big plush doll to your face. "Look what Ash got me, [Name]! Isn't it the most adorable thingever!?" You blinked as you saw it was Iris' favorite Pokémon, Axew. You smiled and nodded, poking the Axew doll with an amused look.

You know what just really fucking makes my day? When shit in a fanfic can actually transition into varying subjects throughout the scenes! Bonus points if the scenes aren't comprised of stupid fucking bullshit 99% of the time!

"Wow, it really is adorable! I think it's a good thing that you keep explaining your love for Axews because this is a perfect gift for a girl like you!"

So, in order for a girl to get their quote-on-quote 'perfect gift' a girl has to consistently explain their love for something? Screw that! Whatever happened to a potential love interest actively paying attention to things she does and likes?

You laughed as Iris proceeded to hit you on the arm for making such a statement. Just as she was about to retort, the first period warning bell rang and you looked around for your other friends that were behind you.

No, I have no idea who she's talking about as her "other friends." What makes you think I would?

Though, the only one left was Cilan, seeing as he was waving to his brothers as they walked into their math class. He turned around and smiled at you, motioning towards the stairs.

The pacing in this is just God-awful. One minute Iris is bounding in and away, then suddenly a Wild Ash has appeared followed by the Striaton Trio! And just seconds later they've all dispersed again!

"Shall we go to English class, [Name]?" You turned your head back to say bye to Iris, but she was off to who knows where.

Apparently Iris is now channeling Nightcrawler in that she can teleport in and out of scenes at will.

You sighed and turned back to Cilan, nodding and hopping down the stairs with him following calmly, laughing at your childish nature. "You really have an interesting combination of flavors today, [Name]. Have you given anything to your crush yet?" You stopped in your tracks and blushed madly. You had left your present for Cilan in your locker for specific reasons, but you didn't think he'd ask you about the crush you've been talking about lately. That crush being Cilan, but whatever.

This is supposed to be some great revelation in this oneshot but the give-away in the oneshot title kind of fucks that up immensely. Not to mention the blasé "but whatever" that follows the announcement of it in the narrative.

You smiled sheepishly and looked at him from the corner of your eyes again.
"W-Well…Not yet…I've been too scared to give it to him, plus he's always surrounded by friends so I just…Yeah." You laughed nervously as you continued your way to your English class. He chuckled behind you and patted your back gently.
"I'm sure you'll give it to him before it's too late. I believe in you, [Name]!" Your blush increased by his words.

Because it's not obvious she has a crush on Cilan what with all the mindless stuttering and blushing. Nooo, not at all!

He was always cheering you on to do whatever it was you wanted to do, which is why you loved him so much. Plus, he can cook decent food. You have to give him credit for that. You simply nodded at him as you took your spot in the front of the class, him following you to his spot behind you. You were lucky your teacher let you choose your spot for the whole year, or else you would have been sat next to the 'popular' girls of the school.

Oh, great, we've got one of those characters. Seems Unnamed Character A enjoys being a bitch to the popular girls but has no qualms about being bestest buddies ever with the popular boys (see: Cilan, Cress and Chili).

The tardy bell rang, signaling the start of class.
~~~
All throughout the day, you found yourself doodling pictures of Cilan on your notes, Cress and Chili always somewhere off to the side. On one assignment, you even drew a little Iris and Ash together.

Okay, I've heard of girls doodling hearts with their crushes names in them and the like but you're telling me Unnamed Character A just draws them out and out? Something tells me it's not supposed to be viewed as stick-figure doodles but fuck you that's how I'm viewing it.

You smiled at the drawing of the newly created couple. They were quite adorable, no matter how much they argued.

I thought this was about Unnamed Character A and Cilan. When the hell did that ever change?

The lunch bell rang, alarming you from your calm state. Your heart was racing from the sudden ringing; it scared you quite a bit! You sighed in exasperation and gathered your things, leaving your stuff at your math desk for later. You were greeted by Iris hopping in front of you from behind a corner, making you jump like someone had just stole your underwear.

Like someone had stolen your....? What the hell? Is this supposed to be funny?

You huffed at her, causing the dark-haired girl to giggle like usual and skip her way down the hallway.

I see Iris has just been completely replaced by her doppelganger that has a bad case of hyperactive ADHD.

You sighed and followed after her.
"Oh wait…Iris, where's Cress?"

WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?

She stopped to think for a moment before smiling over her shoulder at you.
"He's off with a different group of friends, so that means we're eating with Cilan and Chili today only!"

Convenient. That's all that is. Because Unnamed Character A needs to be alone with Cilan so naturally there's going to be all sorts of convenient scenarios happening that will allow it to end that way.

You rolled your eyes with a smile, knowing that Cress didn't want to be seen with Chili after this morning's accident.

Am I supposed to know what this supposed accident was? Because I don't and IT'S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF THAT THIS WRITER KEEPS EXPECTING ME TO KNOW!

Once she and you had reached the cafeteria, you both began your search for the two popular brothers. Ash had first lunch, so he wasn't with you guys at all for lunch. Iris tugged on your sleeve, mentally saying 'I've found them!'

Mentally? So Iris is a telepath now?

She smiled and began to run up to them. "Hey, Chili! Cilan!" They picked their heads up

That seems to insinuate that Cilan and Chili's heads are detachable like the Headless Horseman.

and smiled at you two, patting the seats next to them.
"God, I can't believe how crowded this cafeteria is! I asked a couple girls if we could have this table and they went off squealing, thank god."

Convenient.

Chili and Iris began to laugh as Cilan smiled shyly.
"I still think that it was rude of you to do so, but at least we can all sit together, right?" A group of giggling girls passed your table, squealing and giggling

ENOUGH WITH GIGGLING, SQUEALING AND ANY MANNER OF SUCH THINGS! IT IS ANNOYING AND ONLY SHOWS HOW SHALLOW A WRITER YOU ARE TO GIVE ALL OF THESE RANDOM PEOPLE THE SAME COOKIE CUT-OUT PERSONALITIES!

even more when they saw Cilan and Chili. Chili snarled when they were out of sight

Why would Chili get hostile over this kind of attention? Some boys would kill to be noticed by even one girl and he's got apparently the whole school's population of girls in the palm of his hand!

and Cilan simply laughed nervously. You always wondered if he had an eye for one of the 'popular' girls, too.
"Hey, Cilan? I've been wondering for a while now…Do you like any of the popular girls?"

The fixation on population only reflects on the author's fixation on it. Apparently girls who are popular are all the same in her mind's eye which is not true. I may not have been a "popular" girl in school myself but most of my class knew my name while I knew barely any of theirs and I was even fairly good acquaintances with several of those giddy popular girls in high school. They're not all the same and they're not all bad but most girls like this writer and Unnamed Character A holds to it that that's the case or rather, in this instance we have a double standard. The popular boys are cool to hang around by any of the popular girls horrendous for some unannounced reason.

Cilan blinked, apparently taken back by the question. You heard Chili snicker as his brother tried to explain his answer to you. He coughed into his fist and began to answer your question.
"Well, in everyone else's eyes, she's one of the girls who have no flavor; a girl that is unworthy of having a significant other. Though, in my eyes, she is the secret ingredient to a magnificent dish, one whose flavors stay true to the plate. She has a lot of interesting combinations of flavors, making her the wonderful woman I've known for a while. I may sound like I'm being a liar, but I am telling the truth; this girl is the first thing you would see on a mouthwatering plate."

It must be fun to praise oneself. Why else would she make Cilan answer in such a flowery, overblown fashion instead of just saying a simple "no?" And no, I didn't bother reading any more of that drivel spewing out of Cilan's mouth other than the first line to preserve my sanity.

He had begun with a small blush on his cheeks, soon blossoming into a full blown, cherry red face. You blinked, taking in all that he had just said. Sometimes it was hard to understand his silly talk, but it was intriguing and you couldn't help but want to hear more of it.

Of course not because it pertains to you so naturally you'd want to keep hearing more of it.

Iris began giggling to herself, Chili trying hard not to laugh either. You looked over at them with a confused look, obvious to Cilan's blush increasing.


"What's so funny? I think it's sweet that he cares about a girl like that!" Chili burst out into a fit of laughter, Iris soon following him.

This is serously getting annoying. It's not funny. It's not helping your case. In fact, all this is accomplishing is to drive up your word count which any sane person shouldn't give a damn about! Fuck, if I weren't so afflicted with train wreck syndrome I would have fled in the opposite direction and never looked back after just a glimpse at the formatting.

You pouted at them, turning back to Cilan and giving him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Cilan. They're just being cold about it." Cilan shook his head, his blush not leaving his face.
"A-Actually, [Name]…I was talking about…you." His voice quieted down by each word he said, making it real hard to hear him. Though, you heard what he said and went red faced immediately.

There are simply no words to describe the stupidity and ridiculousness involved.

Chili and Iris' laughter wouldn't stop, so you immediately took this as an offense and that he was probably dared to tell you that.

Notice the immediate implication? This is another well-known trick that more cruel "popular" people like to pull. Granted, I've had it pulled on me once in middle school and I know it happens but here it's so forced it's unbelievable. There's no subtlety involved on Iris or Chili's parts. People who play this prank try to keep straight faces and make the joke go as long as they can, they don't just outright laugh.

You frowned and stood up, slamming your hands on the table to get their attention. Chili and Iris stopped laughing, giving you shocked look, Cilan going wide eyed too.
"You guys, that's a terrible joke. You BOTH know that I've had a crush on Cilan and then you force him to tell him that he likes me as some sort of joke! Especially since it's on Valentine's Day! You all are the worst pranksters, EVER!"

Enter forced contrivance #2; Unnamed Character A admitting her feelings in a bid to drive home that this is just such a cruel prank and that Cilan can't possibly ever like her when in reality we all know that's not the case. In fact any person with even an ounce of intelligence can take one look at this scenario and tell that it's only involvement in this oneshot is to force in some amount of ham-fisted drama.

Cilan gaped at you, repeating what you had said in his mind. You blinked, gasped and covered your mouth immediately. Chili looked at you in pure shock, Iris covering her mouth with both her hands. You blushed brightly and looked to the side, as if you were searching for someone to save you from the embarrassment.

I'm tired of the lack of proper descriptions. We're just getting a boring as hell laundry list of everyone's reactions here.

"[Name], we weren't laughing because-" Iris went wide eyed when she saw you run from the table in a rush. You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to stop tears from coming, which failed because you were really irritating them instead.


People gave you strange looks, but shrugged it off as though you had been rejected by someone, most likely one of the popular boys of school.


You ran down the hallway where nobody bothered going down, so it was an empty hallway.

AS INSINUATED WHEN YOU SAID NOBODY BOTHERED GOING DOWN IT! STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR READERS HAVE THE IQ OF A BRAINDEAD GNAT! THEN AGAIN ANYONE STUPID ENOUGH TO LIKE THIS DRIVEL MAY BE JUST THAT STUPID AND MAY, IN FACT, NEED THAT REPETITION TO CLEAR SHIT UP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

You sat against the wall and buried your face in your knees, thinking over your silly actions. You weren't crying, but you wanted to.

THAN WHY DID YOU SAY YOU WERE TRYING TO STOP TEARS FROM FALLING WHEN YOU RAN OFF FROM THE CAFETERIA?!

Sadly, your tears wouldn't come unless it was something real serious, like something regarding your family. Your eyes were just slightly watery, and that was it.


"Hey, [Name]? Do you really think that I was lying back there?"

IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD BE SO THAT THIS WOULD END! THIS STARTED OUT AS A FOUR PAGE WORD DOCUMENT! AT THE TIME NOW, WITH THE REST UNSPORKED IT'S DRAGGED OUT TO NINE PAGES! IT JUST WON'T FUCKING END!

You stiffened immediately, remembering that silly voice belonging to the man you just ran from. You couldn't speak. Your mouth had gone dry almost instantly. You heard him sigh and slide down the wall beside you. "…I really wasn't lying. You know I'm no liar, don't you?" You couldn't bear to pick up your head to face him after just being proved wrong. "So, why would you think I'm lying right now?"

BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN ONESHOT HAS THE COLLECTIVE IQ OF FOUR!

You didn't move your head, you simply thought about what he had said. He was right, why would you think he's lying right now?
'Oh yeah, because I'm a loser who can't get a girlfriend…'

WHO CAN'T GET A GIR-WHO THE FUCK IS THINKING RIGHT NOW? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE UNNAMED CHARACTER A, RIGHT? SO THAT WOULD MEAN SHE'S LESBIAN. THIS MEANS THAT THIS WRITER DIDN'T BOTHER TO EVEN PROOFREAD HER OWN DREK SHE THOUGHT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD VIA THE INTERNET! I TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN THIS TYPO AS IT PROVES THAT NOT EVEN THE WRITER GAVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHAT SHE WAS WRITING!

You smelled something nice waft into your senses, quietly sniffing to see if you could smell what it was. You blinked, picking your head up slowly to look at Cilan. He wore a sincere smile, holding out to you the most beautiful bouquet of lilies to you. He tilted his head slightly, tapping your nose with the bouquet, his smile never leaving his face. You stared at the flowers for another moment before gently taking them from his grasp, keeping them close to your body so you could still smell the nice scent of the lilies. He ruffled your hair a little when you took the flowers, causing you to smile a little at him. He smiled softly back at you and went to open up his messenger bag. You were busy smelling the lilies when he nudged your shoulder.
"Hey, [Name], I have something to ask you." You blinked and turned to him, your eyes locking with his immediately. You blushed slightly as he handed you a neatly wrapped box that had a white bow tied around it. He smiled amusedly at you and took one of your hands in his. "Will you be my Valentine, as well as my girlfriend? You're the secret ingredient I've been missing in my life, which is why it would make me more than happy if you would accept my offer."

WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!? ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!! SHUT UP AND FILE INTO FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE TOWN AND LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS PILE OF SHIT THAT'S A ONESHOT! THERE'S NO REALISTIC CONFLICT, THE CLIMAX SUCKS PANPOUR TAIL AND MY BRAIN CELLS ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE AS I READ THIS!

You gasped quietly, your blush increasing by the minute. His dear smile made your heart melt, making you unable to speak. He chuckled lightly, pulling out a different box and opening it up. Inside laid a beautiful, silver plated necklace that had a locket attached to it.

AND OF COURSE THE UNNAMED CHARACTER A HAS TO BE GIVEN SOMETHING AMAZINGLY SHINY SO AS TO KEEP HER ATTENTION!

He motioned for you to turn around for him, and you did as told. The cold necklace touched your neck, making you shiver slightly. Cilan chuckled and allowed you to turn around again. Once you had, he placed his hand over yours in a gentle manner. He slid the other box from before towards you.
"I made these for you; I hope you can accept them. I still don't think I've gotten your favorite type of chocolate right, but it took me a long time to create them."


His smile was brighter than ever, making you have to smile back at him. Whenever he smiled, you could never help but smile back at him. He had that effect on you. Nodding sheepishly, you slide the chocolates over to you slowly.
"Cilan…I can't thank you enough. You've made today so much more special to me than anyone ever has."

'COURSE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BOTHER TO DO THE SAME, HUH? NO, OF COURSE NOT! IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU! YOU GET FLOWERS, A SHINY NEW NECKLACE, CHOCOLATES AND YOUR CRUSH WHILE WHATEVER YOU GOT HIM IS STILL SHOVED IN YOUR LOCKER AND PROBABLY NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS HE GOT YOU! I KNOW LOVE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE MEASURED IN THINGS LIKE THIS BUT SUETHORS DO THIS ALL THE TIME AND KEEP GIVING MORE AND MORE TO THE SUE (SEE; UNNAMED CHARACTER A HERE) WITHOUT BOTHERING TO RETURN THE FAVORS AT ALL! SO FUUUUUUUUUCCCK YOOOOOOOUUUUU!

He simply chuckled and shook his head at you, giving your hand a light squeeze.
"No, you've made it the most delightful day that life had to offer me. I should be thanking you for brightening up my day."


He moved closer to your face, causing you to blush brightly. But, life could play dirty tricks on you. He moved his lips up and he kissed your forehead gently. You giggled lightly, but on the inside you groaned a little. Cilan pulled back and stood up, holding his hand out to you. "Shall we get your backpack, now?" His smile hadn't leaved his handsome face as he spoke to you, making you smile brightly back at him. You gladly took his hand and allowed him to pull you up. Once he did, he held you close to his body, without damaging the fragile lilies.

GOD DAMNIT, IT'S LIKE YOUR BEGGING ME TO HATE YOU NOW! ENOUGH WITH THE MINDLESS FLUFF! I GET IT! THEY'RE TOGETHER! HAPPY FUCKING DAYS! END IT ALREADY! END THE GODDAMN ONESHOT! IT HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THIS GODDAMN LONG TO BEGIN WITH FOR SUCH A SIMPLE FUCKING IDEA!

"You cheered up quicker than I thought you would, [Name]." A light breath touched the crook of your neck, making you jump a little. You nearly dropped your gifts, but you sighed in relief when Cilan took hold of the box of chocolates and the lilies. He smiled at you as Iris bounded her way up the stairs quickly. You patted Cilan's shoulder and followed after Iris, chasing her down for ruining the perfect moment you had with Cilan.
"Iris, you better watch it before I start making jokes about you and Ash!!"
"[Name], you know I can get you back in any way I want! You're just too afraid to admit it!"
"Remember yesterday when you had that giant piece of food shoved in your mouth and you began to talk like a fatty?!"
"[Name], don't mention that!!"

FUCKING HOURS OF MY LIFE ARE GONE ON THIS DREK! I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY ABOUT THAT! I WISH FOR THOSE POOR LITTLE MINUTES EVEN NOW AND WILL CONTINUE TO MOURN THEIR LOSS UNTIL SUCH A TIME THIS EVENT HAS BEEN DRIVEN INTO THE DEEPEST, DARKEST PITS IN MY MIND TO BE FOREVER FORGOTTEN!