Illegal Operations: Project K Sporking/Review [10]

~Project K~ {Leon S. Kennedy} Pt.10 Morir Es Vivir

“Another cabin.” You muttered to yourself as you three came across what seemed liked the cabin you were in before.

How does - wha - that cabin looks nothing like the one you're in bef - you're full of shit.

The building you fight Bitorez in looks nothing like the cabin they are ambushed in with Luis! It doesn't! You're full of shit!

“Ashley you better stay out here.” Leon said to the president’s daughter as she nodded and went to hide behind the cabin somewhere.

You were about to follow Leon inside when he turned to you and stopped you with one hand on your shoulder, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m coming in with you.”

“No you’re not you stay out here and protect Ashley.”

Once again, this is completely stupid. Yes, while there is some semblance of intelligence in that idea, that being leaving protection with Ashley. But this is an unusual mission as well with strange nightmare-creatures plaguing the area. Leon has no idea what could possibly be waiting inside the building. Hell, he wasn't even this protective of Claire in Resident Evil 2 so why should I suspend belief that he'd be this controlling over where Karla is and how safe she is? It's not in him. While he wants to protect those around him he doesn't demand things like this, especially when the other person is (supposed to be) more than capable of holding her own.

You gave him a sour look, “She’s hiding and I doubt that the Ganados are smart enough to look for her


Wha- but the Ganados are intelligent enough to use ladders, and pitchforks and axes for weapons, why wouldn't they be smart enough to look for her? Just.... why?!

that and you really need to stop treating me like the way you’re treating her. I’m a soldier damn it, not a useless girl.”


YOU ARE TRAINED FOR COMBAT. ASHLEY IS NOT. OF COURSE THERE IS GOING TO BE A DIFFERENCE IN SKILL SETS. AN OBVIOUS DIFFERENCE. YOU CANNOT MEASURE USEFULNESS BY THAT STANDARD. YOU CAN'T. IT IS NOT ALL EQUAL. DO I NEED TO CONSTANTLY BRING UP THE SEGMENT IN THE GAME WHERE ASHLEY IS SEPARATED FROM LEON AND THE PLAYER TAKES CONTROL OF HER? SHE MANAGES TO USE OIL LAMPS AS MAKESHIFT EXPLOSIVES TO DEFEND HERSELF. THERE IS NO REASON FOR THE "USELESS GIRL" INSULT TO ASHLEY. IN FACT, I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY DOING THAT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE ASHLEY IN REALITY. HOW DO I KNOW THIS? JUST CHECK OUT THE MEMO SHE LEFT ABOVE HER CHAPTER.


SO FUCK YOU. LEAVE ASHLEY ALONE. WHILE SHE CAN BE ANNOYING IN-GAME DUE TO THE HOOPS YOU HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH TO KEEP HER SAFE SHE'S LESS ANNOYING THAN YOU. IN FACT MOST PLAYERS ONLY REALLY HATE HER BECAUSE SHE'S SOMETHING THAT MAKES PLAYING A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT. And yes, I know, some people out there may dislike Ashley for a legitimate reason, I get that and I respect that. But the amount of needless Ashley hate is ridiculous that I'm forced to try and reason that she's not as bad as many make her out to be AND I'M NOT EVEN REALLY FOND OF HER MYSELF!

You said to him in a menacing voice as his blue eyes seemed to be looking through you.

“I just think it’ll be safer for you both.”

You rolled your eyes, “Fine whatever.”

“Karla don’t be that way, we’re partners.”

“Well you’re sure not treating me like one.” That's because despite the fact that with your Sue-claws in him he is forced to say the words "partners" he realizes you for what you are and really just doesn't want to be anywhere near you.

He sighs while opening the door and stepping in as you stay outside with one of your pistols drawn, and with a look of utter annoyance.

So she stays behind to protect Ashley and she doesn't even go to find her again and stay near her. Lovely. Clearly we have an ace soldier for this mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He disliked treating her as though she was vulnerable but he had no choice he wanted her to stay safe. He’d almost had a heart attack when he found Karla faced down on the ground beside the chainsaw woman and for a moment he believed she was actually dead.

He didn’t want her to die, and for some reason ever since the incident in Raccoon City he’d started to like the sister of Zachary Smith. Leon believed it was when they were shooting zombies along side each other and even though the nineteen year-old Karla had never really shot a gun before she managed quite well. He smiled at that memory; yeah it was probably around that time when he had started to like her.


Oh my God.... Just... I cannot find the words to describe why that is fucking horrendous. I really can't. I'm just going to say that if you can't see what's wrong with that than you haven't romped around enough Sue-fics in your life and move on my merry way to save myself the brain matter.

His thoughts were soon interrupted as he sensed something behind him,

Yeah, why is he thinking those things when he needs to be concentrating and observing his surroundings for any form of danger? Oh, fucking right, because the Sue must take precedence over everything else of course.

turning around he was caught off guard as the Big Cheese grabbed Leon by the throat and wrist where he held the handgun and suddenly threw across into a wooden beam head first as he fell to the ground groaning in pain.


He then turned back to the door and twisted the handles together to prevent Leon from trying to escape and to prevent that army woman from entering to save him.

Turning back to look at the agent he stalked over towards him and attempted to grab for his neck again when just then Leon rolled out of the way and knocked over a gas filled tank while aiming his handgun towards the liquid as it spilled around the Big Cheese’s feet.

“Hasta Luego.” Leon replied in a cool and dorky manner while shooting a single bullet into the gas as it exploded and wrapped big cheese/ Mendez in flames.

IT'S BITOREZ MENDEZ! HE HAS A FUCKING NAME! YOU KNOW HE HAS A NAME! USE IT! USE HIS FUCKING NAME! YOU'RE TRYING TO BE WITTY AND IT'S NOT FUCKING WORKING! JUST USE HIS FUCKING NAME BEFORE I BEAT A MOTHERFUCKER!

It was too late to think he was dead as soon as the flames erupted Mendez mutated into something more disgustingly terrifying DESCRIBE! DESCRIBE, DAMNIT! DON'T TELL ME! JUST SHOW ME! I DEMAND DESCRIPTIONS! as anything his eyes had ever seen. Mendez’s spine stretched from his lower body as tentacles/claws came from his back.

“Shit.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re head suddenly jerked up as you heard something being thrown and a groan from inside the cabin. You ran to the doors and tried to pull them apart but it wouldn’t budge.

“Damn it. Who could Leon be in there with?” That's not typically what someone would think! Typically one would be worrying about WHAT'S going on in there and not about WHO'S in there with Leon. your thoughts drifted to the person you had run into last time…

“No way…Stinky Cheese!”

Stinky Cheese is not clever nor is it funny! STOP FUCKING USING IT!

You then ran to the other side of the cabin trying to find a way in somehow but the only opening that was offered was a window two stories high.

“I don’t care what you said I’m coming in after you.”

(Me: aw you luv him, you want to kiss him, you want to hold him, you want to marry him-)

(You: I do not!!!!!)

(Me: -_- denial…)


WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU DO NOT DO THAT! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU JUST SAW THAT! I DID NOT DOCTOR THAT IN ANYWAY! THAT IS STRAIGHT UP, LEGIT PART OF THE CHAPTER! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY?! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leon had managed to successfully shoot off Mendez’s lower half as on his upper part remained climbing the beams with its claws.

“Damn.” Leon muttered at his now empty handgun hating the annoying click of his gun.

Not looking up in time he was suddenly side swapped by Mendez into a barrel of gas tanks. ‘Damn it.’ He muttered in pain and anger.

Sounds of bullets sounded and ricocheted off the burning embers of the walls and then Mendez turned his attention from the agent to look behind him as he hanged from the wooden beams.

“Missed me?” you asked grinning while shooting at him once more only to find yourself shooting at the beams.


CAN'T HAVE LEON DO ANYTHING BY HIMSELF! NOPE! GOTTA HAVE KARLA-SUE COME TO THE RESCUE AND SHOW OFF HOW *~SPESHUL~* SHE IS! FUCK YOU!

“Now where did you go?” you taunted How is that anything close to a taunt? while instantly moving out of the way as Mendez’s claw retracted from the wall behind you.

“You did miss me after all.” You muttered as Mendez let out a sound of annoyance while coming at you once more. That’s when you pulled a green object from your belt and instantly threw it at him while rolling past him, grabbing Leon up off the ground, and ducking behind wooden crates as the sound of explosion erupted from the blast.

A green object? A green object?! A GREEN OBJECT?! CAN'T YOU JUST CALL IT A FUCKING GRENADE LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE?!

When all was clear both you and Leon came up from the boxes and walked over to the now dead body of Mendez while picking up his glass eye from the floor.

“Ew don’t touch that.” You said Again, this is SUPPOSED TO BE A SERGEANT MAJOR AND SHE'S FUCKING ACTING LIKE A SIX-YEAR-OLD WHEN FACED WITH A WORM! while making a sour face as Leon chuckles at your comment and then begins to rub the excess goop from the eye onto his pants.

“Thanks again for saving my butt.”

“Didn’t want you to die on me now.” You smile at him.

And yet you don't take consideration as to my welfare. I've felt like dying several times already just from reading this fic!

“Karla, about before I’m sorry for getting mad at you I know you were just doing it to protect yourself.”

“Nah its okay I’m not the type of gal to hold a grudge.”

“Let’s get out of here.” He says while grasping your hand and leading you out of the small opening in the wall to the cool breeze outside.

“Are you two okay?” Ashley says while running up to you two.

“Better than ever.” You said.

“Let’s go we need to get out of here before Ganados decide to show up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And what do you know? Mendez’s glass eye was really a key to open the door which was an eye scanner. Upon entering the door you three walk up a path only to hear the sound of a truck being started and suddenly its driving down the path you were walking on.

“Oh…my…god.” You said with wide eyes and instincts forces you to pull Ashley back towards the gate as Leon grabs his rifle and begins to fire at the truck. Thankfully after the fourth shot the truck caught fire and skidded over onto its side and crashed into the gap a few feet away from the three of you.

Again, a truly terrifying and tense scene has just been reduced to a dry read condensed into seconds. I hate everything.

“Hurry let’s go!” Leon shouts as the three of you run up the path and continue running 'Run' and 'running' have been used together in the same sentence and in short proximity of each other - bad writing alert! only to hear the shouts of the Ganados that had hid in the truck chasing after you three.

“Damn it. Go!” you shout to them as they ran up ahead and you pulled out both pistols instantly taking aim and firing at the Ganados that got too close.

“Karla run come on!” Leon shouts at you as you cross the bridge to the other side

Why did Leon cross the bridge? To get away from the Sue on the other side! That was lame, I'm sorry... I'll hit myself. *hits* Ow!

where a grand castle stood looming in the moon’s light and darkness’s shadows. “You take that one!” he shouts to you and points to the crank on the left side of the castle’s entrance as he takes the right crank. You both begin to rotate both cranks You have found a crank. Will you take the crank? as the bridge then begins to lift up blocking the Ganados from entering.

“Alright that should keep them out of here.” Leon says as Ashley catches her breath and as you slam two clips into both pistols.

“So where now?” you ask.

“We have no choice but to keep on moving forward.”

“Ay, ay sir!” you salute him and take the lead as he chuckles while Ashley smiles at you you’re humor.

That's not funny. It'll never be funny. Stop making all canon characters seeing your self-insert as funny. It's not cute and none of what Karla-Sue spouts out is comedic.

Thankfully the Merchant was there which was a well earned sigh of relief and a pondering aching question: How did he get from place to place before yourself and Leon?

While exchanging things with the Merchant Leon had traded his old shotgun and rifle for a brand new Riot-gun and semi-auto Rifle. He even bought you a TMP similar to the one he had just in case you ever ran out of bullets for your pistols and shotgun which was awfully nice of him.

After that you all went up a few stairs and went through a red steel door unaware of the dangers and new enemies that lay behind….

=^-^=

“Morir es vivir, morir es vivir.”


“Muere, Muere.”


“What are they saying?” Ashley said straining to understand the supposed language of love. Since when is Spanish the Language of Love? That's French. But in this case it was a language of pure death. The cloaked people which you assumed were the Los Illuminados were chanting those deadly words over and over.

“The first part is: to die is to live. The second is just die.” You say while turning to her as the three of you were crouched behind wooden boxes. Her brown eyes were as wide as anything as she begins to shake slightly.

Why would that terrify Ashley to the point of shaking? She's been kidnapped, injected with a deadly parasite, faced hoards of Ganados with only Leon (and Karla-Sue in this fic) to keep her safe and even came face to face with an El Gigante so why would the translation of a few words make her this horrified?

“I want to get out of here.” She says quietly as you nod.

“I know.”

“No point in waiting here let’s go.” Leon says as you get up with him as Ashley follows suit.

The three of you climb up the flight of stone steps up to the upper levels and entering the outside area.

“Look out!!!!”