{Review} Next Stop, Purgatory (Innocence (Team fortress 2) Chapter 1 By geminijo)

A Review, Canned, why? Because why not, that's why. Really though, I remember oodles of fanfiction I thought was the bees knees way back in the day, when I was like twelve. And when I went back for some nostalgia I came across some really really bad fanfics that are now shadows of their former self. So, lets begin~

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“Okay, okay. I’m healing you.” A little girl of twelve clicked on the mouse to heal her teams’ pyro who was on low life.


*Medic!*


*Doctor!*


*Hey doc!*


“I’m coming, i’m coming.” The girl switched her weapon to her needle gun and rushed to where she was needed, changing her weapon to medigun and healing them.

Twelve huh? I hope she knows the youngest these guys can be is 24 C:

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*WaTcH_yOuR_bAcK_23 has just earned achievement ‘Master of Disguise’*


“Take this spy!” The girl changed her weapon quickly bone sawing the Engineer. He dropped to the floor as the enemy spy. “Ops that was not medicine.” The girl laughed doing a bone saw taunt while saying one of the medic’s sayings.


*INCOMING!!* The girl turned her mouse to look behind her to see a heavy changing towards her with the enemy medic healing him as he opened fire on her.

I'm not even making a dent in this yet OTL

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“Ohhh, just great.” The girl pouted folding her arms as her medic died and she waiting for the re-spawn. She changed her character to a scout. “Come let’s go!” She grinned to herself while she speeded out of the room towards the enemy base, double jumping to get on the top of the bridge roof. “Yeah let’s do this!”


She shot a few shots at a sniper she saw before bonking him on the head and racing past. She ran down some steps going for the intelligence turning two corners before running into the intelligence room and getting shot down by a sentry. “Oh nooo. Unfair, so unfair!”

Sooo unfair guys

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The screen went back to telling her how long it would take for her to re-spawn. She made herself re-spawn as the spy.


“Let’s take down a sentry shall ve.” She giggled putting on her best French accent before disguising as the enemy medic and cloaking. She went down to the sewers and uncloaked. The enemy pyro came past shouting medic and she smirked. “I’ll heal you to full life then.” She said as she stabbing the pyro a few times then taunting over his body.

Ve. I hate it when people do that, just sooo much.

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The 12 year old grinned a little as she disguise as the pyro walking through the sewers. Her light brown hair in pig tails and small fringe coving her forehead. Her dark brown eyes watched the screen as she made her way through the enemy base without much hassle.

Jail-bait

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“Honey time for dinner!”


“ ‘kay i’ll be there now!” She made it to the enemy’s intelligence and zapped a sentry but soon was killed by the engineer. She shrugged. “I guess I deserved that.” She logged off the server and hopped off her chair to skip down the stairs. “Hey mom.”


“Hi.” She smiled brilliantly to her daughter and handed a plate of spaghetti bolognaise to her. “Now I want you to check if you have got any homework before you go back up to play.”


“Aww but mom...”


“Do you want me to take it away?” The girl made a pouty face and sighed looking away from her all-knowing mom.


“No.” She puffed out her checks a little then felt her mom pat her on the head.


“If you don’t get good grade in school then you’ll never be what you want to be when you grow up.” The girl grinned up at her mom.


“‘kay!” Then the girl left to sit at the dining room table with her dad.


“How ya doin’ kid?” He asked as he slurped up some of his dinner.


“Me ‘kay.” She twisted some spaghetti on her fork and began to eat her food. Her father ruffled her hair chuckling.


“That’s my girl.” She glared at him a little for messing up her hair then carried on eating. The girl finished her food and put her plate in the dishwasher.

Wow, rude. Who even says 'Me 'kay?' Really who?

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The girl waved a small farewell to her parents and disappeared up stairs to the game. She sat down and sighed while joining a game. “I wish I could be in team fortress 2. It would be so awesome, I could meet all the characters and everything.” She leaned back on her chair staring at the ceiling. “Playing the game isn’t enough I won’t to be in it…to feel the adrenaline rush through my skin as I run through the enemy base.”

And get shot at.

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The girl paused looking back at the screen and picked the engineer on blue team. “Maybe I’m going slightly insane…yeah…I’m talking and answering myself, I’m sure that’s a sign of insanity.” She sighed again and ran out of the re-spawn space putting an entrance teleporter up. She blinked as the teleporter started to spin and a blue glow came from it. She was pretty sure that she hadn’t made another one.

Actually it's a sign of 'spechal snowflake syndrome' send help.

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Then the screen turned blue and glowed. The girls mouth open slightly in shock and awe. Suddenly her whole world when blue and then black as she drifted out of consciousness.

I see where this is going~

---

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The girl opened her eyes with a weird feeling inside of her. She looked around rubbing her eyes a few times and blinking. She was standing just outside of blues re-spawn where she had built the teleporter apart from the teleporter wasn’t there but she was.

...what?

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“So that’s what people mean be careful what you wish for….okay…now what?” She jumped slightly as the shutter opened behind her and she stepped out of view to see the blue spy come out.

I wish for an endless jug of sweet tea. Is it here yet?

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“Merde I am zo late. I ‘ope no one noticed I wazn’t zere.” An idea popped into the girls head and she snuck up behind the blue spy and wacked him on the back of the neck. “Mer…de.” The blue spy dropped and she stood there with a blank face.

Spy is now the White Rabbit

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“Wow it actually worked?....cool!” A grin came to her face as she stole the spy’s clocking devise, disguise kit and sapper. She left the pistol and knife, didn’t want to hurt anyone. She looked down at the knocked out blue spy and picked up his arms taking him back through the shutters so he wasn’t knocked out and out in the open for enemy’s to pass and shoot him.

You are twelve. That is a grown man. I call shenanigans.

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She smiled slightly giggling. “I bet you’d be kicking yourself when you wake up and find out you’ve been beat by a girl.” She let him lie on the floor then headed out. She put the clocking devise around her wrist and the sapper in her pocket, she opened the disguise kit and pulled a face at the cigarettes, she pulled one out and sniffed it making a gagging noise then emptying out the packet out a nearby window then went back into the shadows before a sniper spotted her.

Twelve.
'Pulled a face at the cigarettes.' What, are you even...huh.

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“There much better.” She nodded to herself then tried to figure out the disguise kit. The girl pouted when she couldn’t get it to work and made a mental note to ask blue spy how to use it…that’s if he wouldn’t try to kill her for nicking his stuff and throwing his cigarettes out of the window. She shrugged putting it in her pocket then looked at the cloaking devise. She pressed some buttons and jolted in surprise that it actually worked and she couldn’t see her hands.

All you do is pout, get out.

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“Cool.” She grinned again and kept and eyes on the watch as jogged threw the base already feeling adrenaline rush threw her. She paused after a few corners and pressed herself against the wall getting her breath back and watched as the cloak charged up again. “Wow, this is harder than it….” She clamped her own hand over her mouth as the blue sniper ran down the hall she was in; she pressed herself more into the wall.

Through, not 'threw'

Lose lips sink ships.

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The girl shut her eyes holding her breath as the assassin ran past her and down the hall. After he was long gone she remembered to breathe and removed the hand from her mouth. “That was close.” She whispered to herself looking at her cloak seeing it full and walked on instead of jogging. She hid behind stuff when she heard footsteps come towards her and didn’t come out until the person was out of earshot.

Because he wouldn't notice some little girl in the hallway, yep legit.
When in doubt hide behind stuff and things.

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Slowly but surely she made her way to the red base. The girl didn’t actually know what she was going to do or why but decided she was going to go to red base…and that’s as far as she planned. As she got inside the base she had to pause again so her cloak didn’t run out and waiting for it to load again.

Because RED base is just filled with people that'd help you

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The girl pushed herself against the corner and hid in as the red soldier came running around the corner yelling battle cries. He ran straight past her and onto the battle field. She let out the air she hadn’t realised she was holding in again and walked around the corner. She walked down the corridors without anyone interrupting her wondering. She found a random door and opened it walking inside and closed it.

When you're twelve and in an army base, it's best to walk through random doors.

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She un-cloaked finding herself in a closet. The girl sighed resting for a minute, she heard footsteps run past they were light and quick so she guessed it was a scout. Her hands went in her pockets and she relaxed as his footsteps vanished in the opposite direction from where she was going. She blinked as she felt something and pulled it out seeing the sapper. “Oh yeah. Forgot I took that.”

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She pushed some buttons and the sapper had what looked to be electricity around it. “At least this works for me too.” She glared slightly at the pocket with the disguise kit in as if it would cower in fear from her. She put the sapper back in her pocket and looked at her fully charged cloaking watch. “Time to go then.” She put her ear against the door and listened but there wasn’t any sound so she cloaked opening the door and stepped out closing it behind her.

I find it hard to believe you'd be fearless and a brave young lass wandering as you pleased.

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She glanced down the halls before heading in the direction of the intelligence room. She turned a corner the heard beeping. A smile came to her face because she knew the red engineer would be down here. Engineer’s were one of her favourite characters to be and most useful at playing, apart from medic.

You are the enemy.

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She walked towards the beeping wanting to meet the engineer. She grinned when she saw him up-grading his dispenser. She saw he had already built a level one sentry that was watching his back for him and his dispenser was at level 2.

You don't say?

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The girl walked up to him grinning. “Hello, Engie!”


“Wha’ in tarnation?!” The red engineer turned around to see where the young girls’ voice was coming from but saw no one. “Spah aroun’ here!”

That is how you get shoot.

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“No, no I’m not a spy….see?” She turned off her cloaking watch to show him but then the sentry turned to her. ‘Beep, beep!’ “Uh, oh.” The girl runs around the sentry staying behind hit. “Ahhhhh! Don’t shoot me! Please don’t shoot me! Ahhh don’tshootme! Sorry sorrysorry!” She quickly got out the sapper and sapped the sentry.

This is how you get shoot.

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The girl panicked and covered her head as if the Engineer would hit her. The red engineer blinked not sure what to do, he was angry about the sentry being sapped but the cowering little girl….wait, why was there a cowering little girl on base? Unless it was the spy…no, the enemy spy would never degrade himself to disguise as a little girl. Plus the spy would have back stabbed him by now not peeking though his fingers at the engineer.

Now I've never hit a child...

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The girl peeked at the engineer furrowing her eyebrows as she looked at him who had his hands on his hips. There was awkward silence as the girl straightened her self up a bit seeing as the engineer hasn’t hit her yet. She looked down at her hands twiddling her thumbs. She felt the engineers confused and calculating eyes on her probably trying to figure out either if she was spy or why there was a little girl in a war zone.

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“Ummmmm….well…” The girl bit her lip still looking down wondering how to explain herself. She most defiantly couldn’t tell him he was a game character so what could she tell him? She tensed a bit and looked up when she heard the red engineer sigh and walk past her. She cringed slightly when he walked right next to her thinking he was going to hit her for destroying his sentry.

Ummmmm because people talk like this ummmmmm

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But he didn’t he kept walking to his sentry or sentry pieces and took out his tool box starting to make another one. He kneeled down on one knee picking up the pieces that were still useful for the sentry and adding new pieces. “You didn’t hit me….?” She said trying to bring up conversation. She didn’t want to be enemies with him but at the moment it didn’t seem like they were friends either.

I wish he did.

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“No, I didn’t.” The girl opened her mouth to say something then closed it and sat to the left of him crossing her legs. She could tell he was dying to ask why she was there but she wasn’t going to tell him mainly because she didn’t know herself.

Oh gee well lets think about it for a second.

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“Can you make it not shoot me?” She asked glancing at the sentry pieces wondering whether he would listen.


“No.” He kept a straight face while carrying on with the sentry. The girls shoulder’s shagged down and she pouted.


“Please?”


“If I did you’d be able to git past and steal the intelligence.” He continued to not look at her, maybe she was just part of his imagination…or not. The girl huffed and folded her arms.


“But if I really was going to do that then I would have already tried.”


“...” The engineer paused at her statement. That is true, if she was going for the intelligence she would have got it by now or stabbed him in the back.

Pout pout pout attitude pout

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“~Sooo~…?” The girl smiled to him sweetly.

~~~~~~~~ in conversation I'll go "Similar Sign So o o o o Similar Sign dot dot dot question mark'

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“No.” The girls face dropped as she pouted once more.


“But then I’d have to zap it again.”


“Zap meh sentries an’ i’ll hit yah wit’ meh wrench.” He pointed the wrench at her warningly, looking at her as she furrowed her eyebrows at him. He quickly looked back at his sentry not being able to look at the little girls face. Just as the girl was about to say something else there was yelling down the hall.

Do it Engie, you know you want too

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Red team came running around the corner, scout in front. She gasped at the sudden noise and people, leaping up onto her feet. Scout sees her and smirks thinking she was the blue spy. She spins around and runs in the opposite direction.

You mean she's not??!?! Oh /gasp I'd never guess the new girl carrying Spy gear wasn't a spy~!

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“Ha ha ha, say good bye to your knee caps chuckle head!” He shoot’s at her and a bullet hit’s her leg. She cried out in pain as she turned a corner limping as fast as she could which wasn’t much compared to the scout. “Boink!” Before she could react he hit her across the back for her head with his bat and she was acquainted with darkness again.

YOU WOULD BE ON THE GROUND NOT LIMPING

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Thank you for reading. Rate and message please. ^^

Nope~